Here, in the waiting room of St. Vincent's hospital, surrounded by dozens and dozens of people who were sitting there, in crisis, waiting in vain and hoping that a loved one who had gone to work on 9/11 would come straggling in--this wasn't a place to make a personal point.
She followed the nurse down the hall and past a set of sliding doors. There were rooms on either side, with old wooden doors and wooden sills, and the desks were age worn Formica when they weren't buried under paperwork.
The nurse paused before one of the exam rooms and gave her a brief smile. "In there." She stood back so Dar could enter, and then left.
"Hey." Kerry was lying on an examining couch, halfway reclined.
She had her boots and her jumpsuit off, but was fully clothed otherwise.
"Hey." Dar glanced around, finding them alone in the room. She crossed over to her partner and studied her. "You okay?" She found the lack of blinking and beeping machines, needles, or other medical equipment encouraging, so she took Kerry's hand in hers and clasped it, feeling the chill under her fingers quickly warm.
"Yeah, I will be." Kerry looked more than a little chagrined. "I did crack a stupid rib on that damn tile. Dar, that's freaking embarrassing," she complained. "How am I supposed to explain to everyone that I hurt myself escaping from a bunch of rats while falling into a raised floor?"
"You want me to tell them you actually saved me from falling off a balcony or something?" Dar asked. "I'm cool with that. After all, you told everyone I saved you from a shark." She chafed Kerry's hand, seeing the unusual pallor of her skin. "Hurts?"
Kerry nodded briefly. "They wrapped me up, and they're giving me a pain prescription. Not much else they can do. The doctor said its just a hairline fracture, and that I was lucky as hell." She drew in a cautious breath. "Pain's making me sick to my stomach though."
"Does that mean I get to take you back to the hotel and put you to bed?" Dar's eyes twinkled gravely. "Now that we're not on the hook anymore?"
"God, that sounds like heaven. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that we're just walking away from this. What about you?"
Dar shrugged. "You want to know the truth?"
"You want to go home." Kerry studied her face intently. "The guys want to go home. I heard them talking. They don't really like being here. The only thing that's been keeping them on the job is you."
"Me?" Dar looked honestly surprised.
"Oh, honey please." That brought a smile to Kerry's pale face. "We'd all walk over hot coals for you and you know it."
Dar's brow creased. "Do you seriously think I'd let you walk over coals?"
Kerry was prevented from answering by the return of the doctor."Hey doc."
The doctor, a middle-aged man with curly gray hair and a kind face, bustled in with a clipboard and a folder. "Well, hello there again,young lady. I think we've about got you wrapped up here. This your friend?"
"Yes, it is." Kerry nodded. "Dr. Ames, this is Dar Roberts."
"Hi," Dar responded warily.
"Hello, there." The doctor gave her a smile. "Well, here's what I've got." He handed Dar a big envelope. "These are her X-rays for her doctor at home."
Dar took them. "Okay."
"Here's her prescription. It's pretty strong." The doctor handed over a smaller square of paper. "If you want my advice, don't let her sleep lying down. Find a recliner and use the arms for support until the bone starts healing."
"Okay." Dar repeated feeling slightly bewildered. "I'm sure we can do that."
"Good. Take care of her, she's a cutie." He patted Dar's shoulder and left the room, whistling softly under his breath.
Dar turned and looked at a bemused Kerry. "Does he think you're my lover, my kid, or my puppy?"
Kerry started laughing, then immediately regretted it. "Oohh." She held her side. "Honey, don't make me laugh, please. It hurts like hell." She moaned.
Dar set the envelope down, stuffed the prescription in her pocket, and carefully got her arm around Kerry's shoulder. "You ready to go be coddled unmercifully?" She could feel a chill under her touch, and put her other arm around her partner cradling her gently.
Kerry relaxed, and exhaled. "They gave me a muscle relaxant. I'm a little loopy. I think that's why the doctor was letting your brain do the work for me."
"No problem." Dar kissed her on the top of her head. "Let's go. We'll grab a taxi outside and be back at the hotel in no time. I'll call the hotel and have them buy a recliner while we're on the way over."
Kerry chuckled faintly. Then she swung her legs off the couch and got up, helped by Dar's firm grip. "Want to hear the good news?"
"Sure." Dar left her arm around Kerry as they made their way to the door.
"My blood pressure was on the low side of normal." Kerry didn't quite manage to keep the smug tone out of her voice. "Even after all the crap we've been through."
Kerry experienced total shock when the nurse had glanced up and patted her shoulder, releasing the cuff and taking the stethoscope from her ears. "Perfect," the woman announced. "I love to see nice, healthy women."
Amazing. Kerry had almost forgotten about her damn ribs in her delight. The injury was painful and annoying, but finite and her blood pressure wasn't. She was glad to hear the recent stress hadn't resulted in a reading that would guarantee to cause her far more anxiety.
"Now that's awesome." Dar agreed. "I'll take that news any damned day." She looked both ways as they exited from the room, and then eased out into traffic. "Probably a good thing they didn't take mine while I was waiting for you."
"Aw." Kerry was content to shelter in Dar's arm, as they dodged the quiet crowd in the waiting area on the way out. "Why were you so stressed? I think we both pretty much knew what they'd say." She glanced to either side as they reached the door.
"I hate hospitals." Dar muttered.
Kerry patted her stomach. "I know, hon." She caught the eye of a woman standing just outside the hospital entrance, her hands full with a stack of colored paper. The woman came forward and held out one of the sheaves.
"Oh." Kerry took it instinctively. She looked at it, seeing a round face with a fringe of dark hair looking back at her.
"This is my husband," the woman said. "Have you seen him? He went to work on Tuesday. I know he must be here somewhere. Please look at it. Have you seen him at all?"
Kerry felt Dar's body shift and she stopped walking, touching her partner on the arm as she bent her head to study the page seriously."Dar, look. Did you remember seeing anyone like this?"
Thus called, Dar tilted her head and focused her eyes on the sheet. The man's face was ordinary and unremarkable. He had a golden skin tone, and in the picture he was smiling broadly at whoever was taking the picture.
Could have been anyone.
"Anything, Dar?"
Dar put her photographic memory to work, flicking through pictures of the last couple of days, above ground and below, going along streets, and standing on the steps of the Exchange, riding in the subways, walking around their hotel.
Down in Battery Park.
'I don't think I have," Kerry said finally, in a regretful tone. "Dar?"
"I didn't see him." Dar lifted her eyes and met the woman's squarely. "I'm sorry."
The woman wandered off without answering, going up to the steps to greet the next people to come out from the hospital with her colored paper, and her eternal hope.
"Jesus." Kerry murmured. "My god, Dar. These people have no freaking closure." She watched the woman plead. "Did you hear the news? I was listening while I was waiting for my X-ray. They think four thousand people are missing, and they've only found a hundred and eighty bodies."
'Yeah." Dar guided her to the curb, and turned to watch for a cab."You don't have closure."