‘She told me about her sister and the baby,’ said Ezra. ‘She was upset — ’
‘That was nothing but a pack of lies!’ shouted Jakob. ‘That kid wasn’t mine! Her sister was lying. I screwed the bitch, that’s true. I screwed her in Djúpivogur, maybe a couple of times. But it wasn’t my child. And I had no idea they were sisters.’
‘Matthildur was heartbroken,’ said Ezra. ‘That’s one reason why she turned to me. She was angry.’
Jakob looked a mess — unshaven, unkempt and wearing only one sock, his checked shirt hanging out of his trousers. Realising that he was not in his right mind, Ezra felt it was unwise to carry on talking to him. He was relieved to know where he stood at last but Jakob’s current state could only make matters worse. He rose to leave.
‘Maybe we should discuss this another time,’ he said.
Jakob scowled at him. ‘You’re not going anywhere till I’ve had my say,’ he snarled.
‘I’m not sure this is the right — ’
‘Shut up!’ shouted Jakob. ‘Shut the fuck up and sit down!’
They eyed one another until Ezra finally gave in and sat down facing him.
‘Do you know how I got proof of your dirty little affair?’ Jakob asked. ‘Have I told you?’
‘No, you haven’t.’
‘I had my suspicions, of course. We’d quarrelled, me and Matthildur, about her sister and that bloody brat. I won’t deny it. It changed our relationship but I thought we’d got over it. That is, until she saw some something in you. You! The reason it took me so long to twig what was going on was because it was you. Christ, Ezra! No woman’s ever given you a second glance. What the fuck did she see in you?’
He probably deserved whatever Jakob threw at him. That was why he had come, after all — to hear the accusations and insults, to bear the brunt of his rage.
‘It could have been any old shit, just not you. Anyone but you, Ezra. What would people think of me if she jumped into bed with a freak like you, who’d never been near a woman in his life? What would that say about me?’
Ezra did not dignify this with an answer.
‘I went to Reydarfjördur and pretended I was going to stay overnight. Remember? Viggó, Ninna’s husband, offered me a lift.’
Ezra still did not respond.
‘Remember, you bastard?’ Jakob yelled at him.
Ezra nodded. ‘Yes, I remember.’
‘Well, I went,’ said Jakob, ‘but I got a lift back later that evening and saw her sneaking off to your place in the dark. I saw you together, Ezra. I hung around outside your house like a fool and saw it all. Everything!’
‘Why didn’t you interrupt us? Why didn’t you speak up?’
Jakob hung his head as if in defeat. ‘Ezra. . you think it’s so easy,’ he said, his voice gradually rising again. ‘So cut and dried. Why didn’t you interrupt us? Why didn’t you speak up? What kind of questions are they? What was I supposed to say? Don’t fuck my wife?’ He was shouting now. ‘Was that what I was supposed to say to you, Ezra?’
‘I can understand that you were angry.’
‘Angry?’ whispered Jakob, more composed now. ‘You haven’t a clue, have you? But I bottled up my anger. Bottled it up till I needed it. I sloped off home and let my rage boil and churn till I thought it would choke me. No one gets away with treating me like that, though. I won’t have it. I told her — I told her in plain words that I would not be treated like that.’
‘Was that why she went to Reydarfjördur?’ asked Ezra hesitantly, terrified of the answer. ‘Was it because of us?’
‘That’s right, Ezra. That’s why she had to go,’ said Jakob, tipping the bottle down his throat. ‘That’s why she had to go on a long journey.’
33
Ezra had put down the gun while he was relating the story. Erlendur was not sure if he was even conscious of having done it, so absorbed was he in the memory of that meeting with Jakob more than sixty years ago. He listened in silence to the old man’s tale. Dusk was gathering in the kitchen. Erlendur was worried Ezra would catch a chill, sitting there in his vest, his slippers still wet from the snow outside. He asked if he had a jumper he could put on or if he wanted a blanket, but the other man did not respond. So Erlendur got up, found a blanket, draped it over Ezra’s shoulders and took away the shotgun, placing it at a safe distance. It contained a single round which he removed. Ezra made no comment.
The minutes ticked away as they sat in silence, broken by nothing but bursts of grateful cheeping as flocks of sparrows discovered the seed Ezra had scattered on the snowy ground behind the house. Erlendur asked if he should put on some coffee, to no reply.
The pause became prolonged.
‘I don’t know if I should go on,’ Ezra said at last, his voice tinged with melancholy. ‘I’ve no idea why I’m raking this up now.’
Erlendur was about to remark that it might do him good to unburden himself of these long-suppressed memories but bit his tongue. He was in no position to judge.
‘Because of Matthildur?’ he suggested.
Ezra had been gazing out of the window at the moors but now he turned to Erlendur.
‘Do you think so?’
‘All these years you’ve never stopped thinking about her.’
‘No, that’s right. But there’s a reason for that.’
‘She disappeared.’
‘Yes, she disappeared. But I’ve never got over the circumstances, and I never will.’
‘People go missing all the time,’ said Erlendur.
‘People go missing,’ Ezra repeated. ‘If only it were that simple.’
He suddenly seemed to return to the present and notice that Erlendur had removed the gun and spread a blanket over his shoulders.
‘Jakob may well have lied,’ he said. ‘I don’t know. It’s too late to tell now. Matthildur was never found. There’s that. I’ve thought about it since. Maybe he was just torturing me. Maybe he enjoyed seeing me suffer. Got his revenge that way. He threatened to do the worst if I didn’t keep my trap shut, and I believed him. I did as he said. I kept my mouth shut.’
Jakob banged the bottle down, keeping his eyes fixed on Ezra, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
‘Do you want to know what happened?’
‘Yes.’
‘Of course, you have a right to.’
‘What happened? What are you on about?’
‘I’m talking about Matthildur, Ezra. My darling wife Matthildur. Isn’t that why you’re here? You’ve hardly come to give me your condolences. Well, I’ll tell you. Just be patient and I’ll tell you the whole story. Because I want you to know. You’ve just as much right as I have. Maybe more. I was only her husband: you got to sleep with her! You got to fu-’
‘I won’t listen to any more of this filth!’ exclaimed Ezra. ‘Don’t you dare talk about her like that.’
‘Filth?’ queried Jakob.
He started to relate, in meandering fashion, how their marriage had gradually come unstuck after Matthildur received her sister’s letter. He had never succeeded in convincing her that he was not the child’s father or that he had been ignorant that she and Ingunn were sisters. Now she pounced on his earlier behaviour as evidence that he had wanted to avoid all contact with her family from the outset. Jakob had not wanted any fuss over their wedding — no church service or reception. They had got married quietly at the vicar’s house in Eskifjördur. She accused him of being unfaithful to her as well and swore she would not be outdone.
‘Next thing I know she’s cheating on me with you,’ said Jakob.
‘Did you know Matthildur and Ingunn were sisters when you started seeing her?’ asked Ezra.
Jakob sniggered. ‘I tried to tell her.’
‘What?’
‘Her sister would have given the whore of Babylon a run for her money. There’s no way the kid was mine! And I’ll never acknowledge it.’
34
The night he had pretended to be staying over in Reydarfjördur Jakob had waited up for Matthildur. He had come home late that evening and, noticing a light on in the kitchen, decided to lurk near the house. He had begun to suspect her of wanting to get even with him. Over the last few months her behaviour had changed: she had become colder and more distant, showed little interest in him, hardly bothered to answer when he spoke to her.