“There’s a lot of stations on the radio,” I replied, caustic now.
“Any special one I should find?”
“FM 99. The Barry Bor Show. Hurry up.”
Even in my foggy state, I didn’t like where this was heading. Barry Bor was a dim-witted cross between Howard Stern and Bill O’Reilly, minus their refined manners and classic good looks. He made hundreds of thousands of dollars every year by basically insulting people and saying outrageous things. He was a hero to morons; a guilty pleasure for quasi-smart people on their morning commute to work; a torturer of politicians; a flagellator of the rest of the Boston and national press. Everyone, in his mind, was stupid — everyone, of course, but him.
I’ll put aside the obvious question of what in God’s good name Peter Martin was doing listening to Barry Bor at five-forty on a weekday morning. The guy needed more help than was probably possible — Martin, not Bor, though probably Bor as well. I quickly hung up the phone, grabbed the remote to my Bose clock radio, and turned to FM 99.
“Ladies and gentlemen, you are the chosen ones who know intuitively when you tune into this show each and every morning that you’re listening to something special, something that only the elite thinkers in this city can truly comprehend. And now you can be more assured of that fact than ever before. Could I ever possibly feel more vindicated?”
Lying in bed, Bor’s admittedly sonorous voice filling the room, I felt a pit in my stomach. Whatever this was, it wasn’t going to be good.
“Before we go on, let’s make a few stipulations. Let’s accept as fact that what the stupid analysts on all those fatuous cable shows call ‘the mainstream media,’ let’s accept that it’s really not all that mainstream anymore. What those liberal blowhards at papers like The New York Times and The Washington Post and the Boston Record and at the network news shows like CBS and NBC, what they are is tired, old, biased curmudgeons — liars, plagiarists, unreliable navel-gazers who wouldn’t know a piece of news if it crawled up their fat asses as they sit at their desks reading The New Republic and waiting for Hillary Clinton to call them back to tell them what to say and write.
“They’re all done. They’re part of a dying industry. And I have the goods to prove it now. I’m one-stop shopping — politics, news, analysis, anything you need, right here on the Barry Bor Show. And this morning, we’re about to break brand-new ground yet again.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I received a telephone call this morning. It was a very important call….”
Oh fuck. Before he even said it, I knew what it was. My pen pal, the Phantom Fiend or the Boston Strangler or whatever it is that he turned out to be, became undoubtedly frustrated with my inability to get his story into print, so he went to the Barry Bor Show on FM 99, where he knows that anything goes. Think about it. Why was this guy writing to a reporter, except that he wanted publicity? And what was I not giving to him? Anyone? Anyone? Right, publicity. I slammed my fist against the mattress, but all I could do was listen to my own ineptitude — or rather, that of the paper. Maybe Bor’s diatribe, sickening as it was, was actually right, and that’s what made it all so awful.
“A murderer called me. We’re not going to glamorize him just because he had the intellectual firepower to seek out Barry Bor. After all, even though he’s one of the chosen ones, he’s still a murderer, and though we can forgive a lot, we can’t quite forgive that — not unless it comes out later that he was only killing abortionists or stem-cell cloning scientists or anyone supporting the Social Security system exactly as it is now.
“I’m kidding, chosen ones, I’m kidding, so before any of those waddling, fat-assed critics at the Record start hassling me again, well, I’ve got something you don’t. I’ve got you beat on a crime story.
“So back to it. This murderer, he called me here at the Barry Bor Show as we were getting ready to go on the air this morning. I talk to a lot of people during show prep, as you can well imagine — congressmen and senators and sitting governors and retired presidents and big-time consultants. Rarely do I talk to murderers — except when the stray Democrat gets through on the line.”
By this point, I was up out of bed and getting dressed, only because I needed to move, to expend energy, while I listened to this pathological idiot prattle on about himself as he held information on a story that should have been exclusively mine. Here I was, at five forty-five now in the morning, listening to my own failure get broadcast across the city.
“He called me and referred me to a blog, but only under the condition that I not publicly reveal the address of the site, which I won’t. Barry Bor keeps his word, even to murderers. When you talk for a living, your word has to be gold, and mine is.
“On this blog were pictures of a young woman whose name is Lauren Hutchens. I’d be remiss in not informing you that she is quite a looker. But in this picture that was posted online, she also appears to be dead, with a cord around her neck. The site also contains a photograph of her driver’s license.
“I personally checked police records online, and have come to learn that a Lauren Hutchens was recently found murdered in the Fenway section of Boston. No one has been arrested in the crime. Whoever should be, that person is busy calling me. Ladies and gentlemen, I, Barry Bor, am in touch with a murderer, and the most chilling part I’ve yet to tell you. I will — right after this commercial message.”
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
That was me, yelling at the damned Bose radio that sat on a small armoire in my room — such an innocent object, such a bearer of bad news on this morning.
The phone rang again, undoubtedly with Martin on the other end of the line. I picked it up with a clipped “I can’t believe we screwed up this badly.”
There were a few seconds of silence in response, which instantly struck me as bizarre. When there was still no response, I said, “Hello. Peter?”
The caller asked, “Are you listening to the Barry Bor Show?”
Whoever asked that question asked it in a voice that sounded in some way automated — as if he was talking through a scrambler or a synthesizer.
“Who’s calling?” I asked, blurting out the words.
“Are you listening to the Barry Bor Show?” Again, the words had that slightly synthetic quality to them.
I said, “I am. But who is this?”
“Why didn’t you write about me in today’s newspaper?”
Now my shoulders reflexively shuddered and my head clouded anew. I kind of knew how Barry Bor felt. I’ve talked to presidents and senators and even killers after the fact. But I’ve never talked to an unknown murderer who was vowing to kill again.
I said, “I was trying to get you in today’s paper. We didn’t think we had enough information.”
“You know Lauren Hutchens is dead. I killed her. You know Jill Dawson is dead. I killed her, too. And I’m going to kill again.”
The way he said kill, the k tripped over itself and the ll had a long echo to it, making it sound somewhere far beyond macabre, especially since I was reasonably sure he would follow up on his threats. I shook my head and pushed my shoulders back, silently attempting to get a grip on myself, and I said, “Why did you call Barry Bor?”
Now, I’ll admit, there were a lot of lead questions I could have posed to this admitted murderer, not the least of which were: Why are you killing? When will you kill again? Who will you kill? Will you give yourself up? I could have even asked the completely self-interested question: Did you try to kill me, or if not, do you know who did? But here I was, worried not so much about the safety of Boston’s female population as I was about the competitive position of the Boston Record.