“Claire was a feral person,” Ned said.
“Perfect word.”
Ned took his jacket off. He said, “Let’s take our shoes off and get under the covers.”
“You look cold,” Nina said.
“I’m not, or just sort of, but I want to get under the covers.”
Ned took her boots off for her. She reached to help him unlace his boots but he declined her help. He appreciated the offer.
“You do feel cold,” she said. They got into bed and held each other.
She said, “Anyway …” There was more.
In a way, Ned didn’t want to hear whatever more there was. But he had no choice.
Nina said, “So anyway Iva was insistent that she wanted to marry Joris. She apparently thought she could overcome his big problem, which was that he was never going to marry again for all the reasons we know. But of course she was kind of perfect. She was married, something he found attractive in women. And she was willing to work with that, including the prostitutes. She believes in herself, as you may have noticed.
“Now, what David says is that there were two parts to what was going on. Douglas was in financial ruin and Joris was rich. And she was infuriated with Douglas over his infidelity, which he refused to call it. Elliot had told her bankruptcy was coming. And Gruen — David — is sure that Iva figured she could rush Joris into marriage and then she’d be all set.
“This had been going on for eight or nine months before Joris talked about it to David, who was astounded and couldn’t think of anything helpful to say so told Joris to go to a relationship counselor! Joris thought he might be falling in love. And she was hitting all the keys on the piano, saying that Hume needed a better father and blaming Douglas’s numerous absences for Hume’s problems. And there was flattery involved. David said that Iva was praising Joris for his, what did he call it, his sexual strength.
“And this was the way it was going for almost a whole year and Joris was wavering, wavering.
“But then the signals changed in some way he didn’t understand. The only thing he could think of that he’d done wrong was not to promise to sign on the dotted line if she got her divorce.
“But she was turning it off. It ended with a phone call saying she had thought everything over and the affair would have to stop. She said she was very sorry, but she couldn’t go into it. Oh, she did express some sadness. But that was the end and he was left with a mystery.”
Ned got out of bed without explaining why. He needed to pace. He said, “That’s something like the way it ended with Claire. A sudden announcement. Maybe that’s getting to be standard now. Except Claire did say there was another person, which makes it not the same kind of mystery. I need to pee.”
Mainly, he needed to think about something else, say, like why the French let Rodin freeze to death after they kicked him out of the storeroom he was pathetically squatting in at the Louvre and what about his friends who promised to send coal?
“I didn’t pee,” he said.
“What?”
“I couldn’t. There is someone in the bathroom taking a shower who doesn’t answer.”
“Oh for God’s sake.”
Ned looked around the room. There were his petitions. There were plenty of people on the premises he should bring petitions to. But he had no heart for it.
“You could go downstairs. Or if you move the bed a little, you can pee out the window.”
“No, I’ll just wait for Godot to get finished in there.”
“Well sit down. I’m not quite through talking anyway. But first I want to say that I hate it that they’re serving these heirloom tomatoes.”
“Why? They’re delicious.”
“That’s why. Because when you go back to regular tomatoes it’s like eating with plastic silverware.”
“Thank you for trying to help me. You are a dear person. Say what you wanted to say.”
“Okay, Ned. So the situation just sits there for a few months. And then death takes Douglas. Joris feels vile even thinking it, but he wonders if it means anything for him and Iva. He’s probably thinking of sex more than marriage, but he’s still angry, and kind of messed up and thinking about her. So then comes the summons to the group. He shows up, and here we all are, and hark, the shower just turned off. Go and come back.”
He was more grateful to her than he could say. She was trying everything, but he was dropping inward.
Ned said, “I know you want me to get into bed, but I feel like not doing it. I’ll just sit here.”
He could see that she was trying to proceed brightly with him. She was sitting up. She said, “Well you know you’re welcome to sit on the end of the bed as long as you like, but it’s warmer under the covers.
“So back to my adventures — and try to look interested — I was stirring up the ashes in the downstairs fireplace in the tower and there were a few intact edges of pages that had been burned there, enough so I could tell that the typescript was about fringe science stuff of the kind he was interested in. The magnetic poles are going to reverse in case you’ve forgotten. And I found one whole page on the sun getting dimmer. So then I had the idea to go upstairs. I still can’t get my breath, wait a minute …
“I look at that row of binders on his shelf, all empty, and my guess is that somebody wanted to get rid of the exotic science because it’s embarrassing. After Douglas died I think somebody got rid of this mass of science fiction and Elliot has been saying the plan was to publish all his social science writings of which there were plenty. And it was going to be under the heading Unde Malum, which means where does evil come from. What do you think of me?”
He said, “The same thing I always think.” But he was dead, sitting there.
45
Help him, Nina thought. She had to get him away from himself. But she also needed to keep calm. Maybe it was ridiculous but it felt like she was pregnant, in fact he was acting like she was pregnant more than she was herself. She had to do something. She was afraid of momentum. And momentum meant an episode of shock and humiliation taking hold and rolling and rolling and rolling and you can only watch.
She had to do something. He was not going to be interested in sex tonight, not in the state he was in.
“Listen,” she said. But then nothing came to her. There had to be something to distract him. The racket coming from under their wing of the house was less, if she wasn’t mistaken. She had gotten to like it, it was soporific, like ValueVision. He was just sitting there in a slumped state she couldn’t bear. Once Ned had talked about maybe losing it and collapsing all the way down and then joking that then he could become a motivational speaker and make a million, which wasn’t that funny.
He had to be all right. She wanted to grow old with him and she didn’t care if growing old meant shuffling around in a house that could be neater and looking for things and shouting over and over What? She thought, I embrace the end.
Someone was knocking at the door. Not now, she thought.
Ned looked wildly at her. He was shaking his head.
She went to the door. It was Jacques. He was being decently circumspect and apologetic. He handed her a damp towel and a sheaf of papers and withdrew, thanking her.
46
He knew she was doing her best. She was bringing light into dark places. It would be fine, later on. He would be fine. Gene Gene made a machine, Joe Joe made it go, Doug Doug pulled the plug, he thought. He was regressing and it was counterproductive and he had to stop.