The professor seemed to be staring directly into Joe's eyes as he spoke, as if each statement was for his sole benefit. As if he knew. Joe shifted nervously in his chair and wrung his sweaty hands. The professor's words bore down on him like accusations and
Joe had the sudden feeling of being on trial. This is what it would feel like when they caught him. He stared intensely at Professor Locke as the polished old gentleman described the inner workings of his mind as clearly as if he had read his thoughts, saw each lurid fantasy and felt each shivering sensation, giving voice to the demons in his soul in front of a crowd of strangers.
Joe wanted to scream and run out of the room. Instead he forced a smile onto his face and endured the onslaught of words until he couldn't take it any longer.
"But what if it isn't just about control?" Joe suddenly blurted out.
The entire room turned to look at him and he felt suddenly vulnerable and exposed.
"What else would it be about, Joseph? A man murders, rapes, and devours a stranger. What else would it be about other than to prove his dominance and power? To sublimate another human being to his wil? These men are sadists!"
"No!" Again everyone turned to stare at him. Joe nervously stood and took a deep breath to steady his voice. "I mean
… maybe not al of them. Not al of them torture their victims. Some kil them quickly before they do anything to them. Maybe not al of them mean to cause pain."
"Then why do they do it, Joseph?"
"Maybe it's love." A roar of laughter rose up and Joe looked from face to face while the blood rushed to his cheeks.
"Love?"
"Yes. What is love but the desire to unite with the love object? That's why people get married, to make two souls into one. But of course that's merely symbolic, imperfect. Marriage is an il usion of a true union. Cannibalism is the real deal. It could be the ultimate expression of love."
Professor Locke stared at Joe with concern clearly visible on his face. The entire hal was staring at him, speechless. Some of them had smirks on their faces and others wore scowls of disgust. Al of them clearly thought Joe was crazy. Joe stood there with his hands held out before him as if beseeching the professor to understand him.
"I-I'm sorry, Professor." Joe plopped down into his chair.
"Nothing at al to be ashamed of. I respect your passion and your
… uh… interesting perspective. You may be closer to understanding these monsters than you think. You are absolutely right. That's exactly how some of these monsters would justify their actions.
Jeffrey Dahmer, for instance, said he just wanted a friend who would never leave him. But when it comes down to it, those are al just rationalizations. These monsters do it because it gets them off. Because they enjoy hurting and humiliating people. They enjoy the power. They enjoy the control."
He was staring directly into Joe's eyes again as he spoke. Joe's mouth creaked open as if to say something but he had no words left within him. His mind was reeling as if he'd been struck.
I'm a monster, he thought and then looked around to make sure he hadn't spoken aloud. He snapped his mouth shut and leaned back in his chair.
Professor Locke smiled and turned his back to the class to erase the blackboard, shaking his head as if laughing at some private joke.
Joe gathered up his books and sprinted from the room, nearly knocking over several classmates as he dashed out into the sunlight struggling to catch his breath. The world seemed to be closing in on him. It was as if they al knew. They could sense the monster in their ranks. The sun shone down upon him like a spotlight in an interrogation chamber, revealing al his secrets. He knew now why vampires shunned the light.
It took a long time before Joe pul ed himself together enough to go to his next class, a sociology class based on the writings of Joseph Campbel cal ed
"Man and Myth." He'd taken the class hoping they'd get more into vampires and werewolves and other cross-cultural demons. The professor kept promising to get to those topics but so far al he seemed to talk about were dragons and fairies and the Christlike resurrected savior myths that seemed to pop up in culture after culture al over the globe. He squeezed into a desk chair and tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. Stil, he felt as if every eye was upon him. A few of the students from this class were the same students from his psychology class and he could hear them whispering about him behind his back. His own roommate was among them.
Joe spent so little time at the dorm that he barely knew the kid. Al he knew was that his dad was some kind of computer whiz who made twice what Joe's parents made and spoiled the hel out of their effete, social y inept little son. He was an absolute cliche of nerddom. The kid was always on the damned computer. His entire life revolved around it.
Joe could count on his fingers how many actual conversations he'd had with the guy. But then, Joe was never home anyway. Most of his time these days was spent at his apartment in the abandoned tenement building south of Market Street or at the library. Now, with Alicia tied up in that old building, he'd be spending even more time there.
"He gives me the creeps, man. And I have to live with the guy!"
Joe caught a few random snippets of conversation and bristled with a silent rage. His rich, computerrole-playinggame-geek roommate was adding more flame to the rumors and innuendos.
"I hardly ever see him. He leaves right after classes and sometimes he doesn't come back to the dorm at al, sometimes not for days. I saw him in the library one night reading about serial kil ers. I came back the next day and he was stil there, in the same clothes, reading the same book, as if he'd never left. The guy is weird."
"Yeah, he's weird, and fucking huge! He could probably snap your neck with one hand," a slender black kid from the track team interjected just as the professor began to scribble on the blackboard.
Joe looked at what Professor Douglas was scribbling and got excited. At last the man had gotten off dragons and saints and onto something Joe was interested in.
"Shape-shifters. Werebeasts. The loupgarou, the Wendigo, the poor cursed soul that turns into a wolfman by the light of the ful moon. We've al heard of werewolves but there are other werecreatures in myths and legends from almost every corner of the globe.
They appear in the folklore and mythology of almost every culture. The
Inuit tribespeople have a legend about the Adlet, a race of dog people that were the result of a mating between an Inuit tribeswoman and a great red dog. These weredogs are said to stil haunt northern Iceland in search of human flesh. You'l see this theme of human animal couplings resulting in monsters repeated over and over across cultures.
"These could have evolved as a way to warn against what would have been seen as aberrant sex acts involving animals. The Slavic people have a legend that beautiful women who misuse their physical gifts to seduce men and cause mischief may return from the grave as sultry shape-shifters cal ed rusalki who, like the legends of mermaids and sirens, lure men out to sea to watery graves. It's easy to see the warning here. Most legends are based on fear and the fear of the power of a woman's sexuality is very powerful even to this day.
"Then there are people who are said to have become monsters by making pacts with Satan. The Portuguese have the legend of the Bruxsa, a woman who turns into a gigantic birdlike harpy and sucks the blood of her own children.
Germans have the boxenwolf, which is more like our traditional werewolf and is likewise believed to be a person who has made a pact with Satan for the power of the wolf. The warning there is again quite obvious: Stay in the church. Don't stray from the religion of your culture.