He gritted his teeth. He was too old for this emotional see-saw, especially after a year away from the front line.
They passed yet another sign for an exit. Clive glanced at it. He’d given up looking for anything familiar. He’d worked in London for decades and any geographical knowledge about other parts of England had long since been crowded out of his brain.
This time, though, his eyes caught on one of the places listed. Sheffield. He might not have known much about the north of England, but he knew that was in Yorkshire.
For the first time, Clive allowed himself to hope. Maybe they’d get out of this after all; against all the odds.
40. Annie
Annie gnawed on a snagged fingernail, trying to smooth it out with her teeth. She tried to stop herself looking out the rear window, but she couldn’t help it. Yes, the Jaguar was still there, not that that told her anything. How was Terry? Right before they left, they’d force-fed Olivia multiple cups of cold coffee from the service station. Had it been enough?
She stared at the Jaguar’s lights. Clive was to signal if there was urgent danger: flash once to keep going; twice to stop. They’d come up with some equivalent system involving the Renault’s brake lights—Annie couldn’t recall what it was now. Her attention span was shot. One minute she was in the present; the next she was imagining herself at the farmhouse with Dan; the next she was reliving the little kick of the gun in her hands as she popped off the bullet that had killed one of those men.
She closed her eyes. She’d been on the verge of tears since they got on the road again and she couldn’t stop it.
“It’s just a physical reaction,” Si said, glancing at her. “You don’t have to be so embarrassed.”
“What is? And can you please keep your eyes on the road?”
“You. You’re being so weird about crying. Of course you’re crying. Think of what you’ve seen today.”
Annie watched her closely. “And you’re not? You don’t seem affected at all.”
Si shrugged. “No. I guess not. Maybe I cried myself dry when they took Max.”
“Maybe.”
Annie stared out the window as the trees blurred past. They were so close now, it was unbearable. She started to think of all the things that could go wrong before they reached the farm.
What if they’d come all this way for nothing?
She shook her head and tried to laugh at her fearfulness after everything she’d been through that day. What was the use in trying to protect herself from something bad? They’d deal with it if they had to.
Dan.
She’d missed him more than she’d even allowed herself to acknowledge.
What if he’s gone looking for me?
It was a very real possibility. She knew there was a chance she could get in and find a note on the kitchen table saying he’d gone looking for her. It wasn’t like they’d ever talked about something like this happening. But surely he knew she’d set out for home no matter what…
“It’s this exit.” There was a lump in her throat. She couldn’t shift it, no matter how hard she tried.
Si raced up the slip road.
“Straight through the roundabout. Then keep going straight until the next roundabout. Then go right.”
Annie tried to relax. They were almost there. The roads were deserted. Couldn’t she assume it was safe now?
She knew better than that.
The old Renault bumped over another pothole. Annie’s nerves were ragged.
“Sorry,” Si muttered. “These are the worst roads I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re supposed to avoid the potholes, not drive straight into them. Take this next left up ahead.”
She closed her eyes and clung onto the dash as Si barely took the turn in third gear.
“Be careful.” She turned and looked behind her. “Wait for the others. This road gets windy.”
“Windier than it is now? I’m sorry. I’m not used to driving on country roads.”
Annie sighed. “We’re almost there.”
Si pulled off the road and waited until the others took their turn. “He must be doing okay,” she said, accelerating off again. “Otherwise they’d be going a bit faster.”
“I don’t know. Maybe Clive is trying to drive as smoothly as possible.” She dreaded to think about what was going on in that Jaguar. “We’re turning right up here. Use your indicators so the others know we’re turning.”
“Jeez,” Si muttered. “You don’t need to tell me how to drive.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just…” what was she? Nervous? Excited? At the end of her tether? She didn’t know. “I… What if he’s not there?”
It was the question she’d been afraid to ask out loud, but now she couldn’t avoid it. The thought of seeing him again was what had propelled her through their nightmare journey over the past few days. The risk had always been there at the back of her mind, she’d just been to busy to focus on it.
Si shrugged. “Where would he be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he thought I was taking too long and he decided to come looking for me.”
“That would’ve been pretty stupid. Aren’t there lots of ways you could have come?”
Annie winced. “You don’t have to be so negative.”
“Forgive me if I don’t really care,” Si said, turning to her as she took the turn onto Annie’s road. “Max is still out there somewhere. And this is delaying me from finding him.”
“Can you not,” Annie hissed through gritted teeth, “look at me whilst you’re driving? It’s not safe.”
“Life’s not safe anymore.”
Annie sighed. “Stop being so melodramatic,” she said, though she felt guilty as soon as the words were out of her mouth. The girl had obviously been through a lot. They all had. “I told you I’d help you find him when—”
She caught sight of the rickety wooden platform on the hill. It was the highest point on their land and Dan had built it so they could lie under the stars on mild nights. They’d spent hours up there, whispering and plotting and planning.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she whispered, not wanting to share the precious memory. “It’s not far now.”
By now, every tree; every defunct electricity pole was achingly familiar. The rusted gates. The abandoned farmhouse. The blind junction that wasn’t as dangerous as it looked, since only locals came this way and they knew to beep their horn before emerging from the little laneway they were now whizzing past.
Annie closed her eyes as Si drove hard into a corner and she was thrown against the door. “It’s the next house on the left. Not far now.”
Even the bumps in the road were familiar now. She counted down the seconds, her heart in her mouth as she wondered if he’d be there. He had to be there, didn’t he?
Unless he came looking for you.
She swallowed as Si slowed down and crunched onto the gravel driveway. Home.
Her eyes flickered open. There was a light on. She could see the dim glow through the glass in the door. It looked like it was coming from the kitchen at the back of the house. That should have filled her with relief, but it didn’t.
It was a cold night, but she couldn’t smell the wood burner. That made no sense. Dan was always cold. Sometimes he lit that fire on summer evenings if it had been raining and the air felt damp.
Si stopped the car and reached for the keys.
“Don’t,” Annie muttered, reaching for the door handle.
“What? I’m not going to leave it running all night. It’s not like we can go to the petrol station and fuel up.”
“Just…” she opened the door and climbed out. If she’d thought the events at the garage had shaken her, it was nothing compared to the anxiety she felt now.
The Jaguar crunched down the driveway as she reached the front door. She didn’t have her keys—she hadn’t thought of grabbing them in the rush to leave London. She’d just assumed Dan would be there.
She held her breath and raised her hand to knock on the door. She hesitated. Could she handle it? She turned away and looked at the Jaguar. She turned back. They were strangers.
She was overwhelmed—she hadn’t expected to be. Even standing there in the porch; the wooden doorjamb with the scratch where the earlier red paint showed through under the more neutral grey they had compromised on. The tiles they’d put down and ripped up several times until Dan was happy with the spacing. The hanging basket of flowers, long dead now, that she’d put up there with the best of intentions.
It was home.
And she was here, against all the odds.
She took another deep breath. What am I waiting for?
She knocked.
Waited.
Knocked again.
There was still no answer.
She closed her eyes. She’d never allowed herself to dwell on this possibility.
She turned and started. Olivia had come up behind her without her noticing.
“Do you have a spare key? We need to get Terry inside as soon as possible.”
She nodded. Of course. They left one under a pot at the back. She stepped out of the porch and hurried around the corner. The gravel crunched somewhere in front of her. She froze. All of the others were by the cars. There was no-one…
A second later, she was looking down the barrel of a gun.
“No,” she cried, reaching for her own weapon. Had it really come to this? Two hundred miles across hell only to be shot on her own doorstep?
Not without a fight.
“Annie?”
The gun lowered and a moment later, a man stepped out from the side of the house. It was getting dark, but she’d know him anywhere.
“Dan!” she cried, heart thumping. “Is that a…”
She put her gun back in her pocket and he lowered his shotgun to the floor. She ran to him and leapt into his arms, crying big ugly tears of relief.
“Annie, thank goodness. I was so worried.”
She closed her eyes and relished the feeling of his strong arms around her. He’d grown a beard. Slowly, she felt herself pulled back to the present.
“Dan, I’ll explain everything later. Terry’s been shot. We need to get him inside.”
“Shot?”
She nodded. There was a lot to tell him. “Later.”