I grab her face in my hands and kiss her mouth. Slowly at first, but I speed up once she reciprocates. I move her toward the bed, feeling a little guilty since we don’t actually know each other. I pause and look at her face. Flashes of memory bolt through my brain: Rochelle laughing, Rochelle crying. Her holding the positive pregnancy test.
I know her.
We help each other out of our clothes, and she pushes me onto the bed, climbing on top of me. She leans forward to kiss me, her swollen boobs falling into my outstretched hands.
It’s quick. Embarrassingly quick. But, also wonderful.
“Sorry,” I say. “You’re just so beautiful. I couldn’t make myself think about football or whatever to go longer.”
“That’s all right.” She props herself up on one elbow and looks at me. “You can make it up to me.”
“Oh yeah?” I sit up.
Rochelle nods and lays back, pushing me down by the shoulders. “You know what to do, baby.”
Chapter 33
My mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton. My shoulders are stiff from my arms being tied behind my back. My back is cramped, and it feels like there’s a pole poking into my side, though it’s probably just the side of the chair. Doris is sitting across from me, smirking.
“You could have at least tied me to the recliner, Doris. I’m old and this is uncomfortable.” It’s difficult to get the words out because my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“You’re right. I could have. This was easier, though.” She stands and grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She opens it and presses it against my lips.
“Thank you,” I say as she pulls the bottle away.
She nods and sits back down.
“How long was I out?”
“Four hours.” She smirks with Dylan’s attractive face. It’s strange to see her expressions on this young man. It’s like looking at her son.
“Fuck.”
“Fuck, indeed.” She takes a pull from her beer bottle. “I think it’s safe to say that Luke isn’t coming for you.”
I nod in agreement. I sent him away, but I really didn’t think he’d leave me like this. I thought he would realize he was being a dick and come back to help me. That’s what I get for thinking.
“What’s your plan?” I ask.
Doris leans back in her chair and says, “Well. I guess I just need to keep you here for seven more hours and then I’m home free.”
“What will happen to me?”
“This is really what’s best for you, Naomi. You’ll die soon and then you’ll go back to the afterlife. You’ll most likely spend some time working, and then you can choose if you want to be recycled again or not. Honestly, dying of natural causes is the way to go. Gives you the most options.” She’s smiling at me like she has given me good news. Maybe she has. “You’ll have some of Juniper’s memories and that will be weird. But you can handle it.”
“But there’s no one there to take over your responsibilities.”
She shrugs and says, “That’s not really our problem now. We’re in a whole different place. Dimension, if you’d rather.”
“It doesn’t matter what I’d rather, does it?”
“Things could have been different for you. You made your choices.” Her smile is gone. The pissed-off Doris I remember is starting to surface.
“What will happen to Greg and Luke?”
“Luke is fine. He’ll probably stay here. I really don’t think there will be a problem with that. Unless he commits suicide again, of course. But I’m not sure about Greg. Was he still losing spots after I left?”
I nod slowly. “You know he was, or I wouldn’t be here.”
She reaches her hand across the table and places it in front of me. I can’t return the gesture. “You’ll have to let him go. You should have already done that.”
“It really doesn’t bother you, does it?”
Doris squints for a second and says, “No. Not really. I mean, I wish things had worked out better for him. But I don’t think he would have done any better with a second chance. Same for Luke. If I thought either of them had real potential, I never would have targeted them that way.”
“You’re destroying Greg,” I say quietly.
“Greg destroyed Greg long before I entered the picture.” She pauses and focuses on my face. “You have a chance, Naomi. You have so much unfulfilled potential. Why don’t you see what you have to offer?”
“Now I have nothing to offer. I’m a dying old woman.”
“Yes, but you’re really not that old. You’ve reached an age of wisdom. An age where women are more than their bodies. Use what little time you have left to capitalize on that. You can be taken seriously.”
“I’m a former televangelist. How can I be taken seriously?”
She tilts her hand and then claps her hands together. “I’ve got it! You can write a book. You’ll probably need to get a ghost writer for the sake of speed. Do a press tour. Talk about what you learned from your megachurch days and what you’ve learned since being exiled from that world. About what it’s like to be an aging reality star on a show with young attractive people. About how your faith has evolved.” Her smile returns and she says, “You might even learn something. If the cancer doesn’t kill you first.”
“Can you please untie me? You’re at least forty years younger than me and one hundred times fitter. It’s not like I can do anything.” I squirm in the seat. My back is cramping up and I’m losing circulation in my hands.
“I guess so. But please don’t try anything. As always, I’m looking out for your best interests. I can help you if you let me.”
Doris stands up and goes around to the back of my chair. I can feel the restraints releasing. I’m rubbing my sore wrists when someone bangs on the door. It has to be Luke, right?
I don’t know when we got under the yellow quilted bedspread. With this body, I would have been okay with staying exposed. Especially since that meant I could see all of Rochelle. But this is fine, too.
Rochelle’s breath is warm against my chest. I’m running on hand through her long soft hair.
“When do you have to go back?” she asks. Her anger has dissipated. I have a feeling I could easily make it return. But the exact dynamics are unclear.
“Soon.” I kiss the top of her head and say, “I’m sorry.”
She sits up and pulls the sheet up to cover her boobs. I wish she hadn’t done that.
“It’s okay. I know you need this job.”
I push myself up and lean against the headboard. I really don’t know what to do. If I leave with Naomi, Andy will go back to being a shitty person and Rochelle will be alone to care for the baby. I don’t know why I can’t let that go. Andy’s memories of her have barely started to form in my mind. But something tells me I can’t abandon her. That it would be a huge mistake.
“I’ll do what I can to stay in touch. Okay? It’s not much longer.” I put my arm around her and pull her against me.
“How do I know I can trust you? You don’t have a great track record.”
“I guess you don’t know. You’ll just have to try to trust me and I’ll have to prove myself to you.” I kiss her cheek and lean back again. I have to figure this out.
“I got the job on Our Weeks of Days,” she says with a triumphant smile.