“And if you don’t come back with us to face what you’ve done, she’ll go to the Shadow.” Tony is inches from her face. I wouldn’t be surprised if she bit him.
But instead she turns to me as if she just remembered that I’m here. “Why did you come back?”
I pull my legs against my chest and wrap my arms around them. “I want to stay. My, I mean Andy’s, girlfriend is pregnant, and he really messed it up. I want to fix it. I want to have a family.”
Doris releases an exaggerated giggle.
Ernesto sits on the floor beside me and I accidentally look at his rack again. He notices so I say, “Sorry.”
He tugs at the front of the dress and says, “You can’t stay unless Doris goes back. Even though you made it to a vapid body, the imbalance will most likely cause you to die. You’ll be overcome with an urge to throw yourself in front of a bus or something equally as sudden and you will have had no idea why.”
“And I’ll go to the Shadow.”
Ernesto nods. “Unless?” He turns to Doris and she rolls her eyes.
“When did you all become such bleeding hearts? It used to be fun, playing around with these hopeless souls. You’ve both done it. Tony, this mess started because of that idiotic game you and the other mentors played. And Ernesto, I’ve never once thought you were relegated to the bookstore because of your good deeds. What did you do?”
It’s a special talent that Doris has, making people feel bad for doing the right thing. How much did she infect Naomi with her preaching?
“You don’t have to care about Luke,” Tony says.
“Ha! That’s a good thing. Because I don’t,” she says. “But why Jennifer? How did she even end up with you?” Her face softens slightly. She looks like she would cry if she were normal.
Ernesto sighs and stands up. “She was forty-three years old. She quit nursing school years ago to support her husband through med school. She never found the time to go back.”
“And he left her for a young nurse?” Doris asks. There’s inevitability to her tone. Her niece’s death is a cliché.
“Afraid so,” Tony says.
“Wow. That’s messed up,” I say.
“Did she have children?” Doris asks.
Ernesto nods and says, “One. A teenaged son. She tried to hold on for him. But the call of Death was too strong.”
Tears spring from Doris’ eyes. All three of us look at each other uncomfortably. This is an unprecedented occurrence.
“She could have gone back to school. Forty-three isn’t that old,” she chokes out between sobs. “But this is what men do. They convince you that they love you and take everything you have.”
Tony bends down and puts his hands over Doris’. “I didn’t take anything from you. I damaged your pride and you’ve never let it go. But you can save Jennifer. Only you.”
Doris stands up abruptly, knocking Tony back on his ass. “This isn’t fair! This all took meticulous planning. I have the life I want. Finally. I have a replacement.” She points to Juniper’s body. “I should be free.”
“But you cheated. You had to know there would be consequences,” Ernesto says.
“I thought you would let me go. All my years of service. All by-the-book. How many souls have I successfully redistributed? It must be in the tens of thousands. And when the mentors screwed things up, I cleaned up the messes. I helped maintain balance, so the wrong souls didn’t go to Oblivion.” She pauses, allowing us time to argue. No one takes the bait. “And instead of letting me go, you chase me down when I’ve finally made it to the life I want and threaten me with the only person who matters.”
“You threw off the balance when you took too much from those boys,” Ernesto says. “You know that.”
Doris looks at me and says, “Do you promise that you’ll take care of that pregnant girl? You won’t run off with some floozy once you get bored?” She turns to Ernesto and says, “No offense.”
“Real funny,” he says.
I stand up and look Doris in the face, man-to-man. “I promise. I’ll do the right thing.” I turn to Ernesto and ask, “Will I remember to do the right thing? I mean, Andy seems like an asshole. Will I lose all of myself and then he’ll leave her again?”
Ernesto thinks for a second and says, “You’ve already lost a lot of your memories, yet you still chose to do what’s right. Soon you should start remembering Andy’s life. But you’ll keep what’s best about you.” He puts his hands on my shoulders and says, “We’ll make sure you don’t lose that, Luke. And maybe you’ll even remember a little bit about your experience in the afterlife. Who knows?”
“Thank you.” Sweet relief. I want to cry. But I can’t in front of this room of extremely attractive people and a dead body.
“She urinated on my couch. I knew that would happen.” Doris walks over to Juniper’s body and starts gathering pills from the floor and Juniper’s skirt. “Think this is enough?” She thrusts her hand forward. Her palm contains about a dozen various pills.
“Yeah,” Ernesto says.
“Can you imagine the tabloid headlines? Juniper Haskell and Dylan Pine committing suicide together in his New York apartment?” Doris smiles. It’s a genuine smile. Kind of weird. “We’re about to make some reporter’s day.”
“We’ll call the police and the tabloids on our way out,” Tony says.
“Look at you with the good deeds, Doris,” I say. “I think you might enjoy doing the right thing.”
“Fuck you, Andy. I hope you get the clap,” she says and shoves the pills into her mouth.
Chapter 35
“Welcome back, slut.” Edgar sits across from me at a small table in the non-café. His suit is crisp and clean again, as if it was never dragged through the mouth of Oblivion.
“Edgar.” I smile and look down. I’m wearing Juniper’s clothes, but everything else is me. A pink polyester blouse and cream-colored pants. It’s even worse than the stripper dress. I go through the motions of sighing. It’s weird to have my breath gone. I adapted to having it again very quickly.
Edgar says, “So, what’s going on in meat puppet land?”
“I don’t really know. The body I was in was dying, so Ernesto and Tony helped me get back here before it was too late. They’re with Doris, but she’s not interested in coming back.”
“Greg and Luke don’t have much time,” he says.
“What if Luke doesn’t come back? Won’t he be okay?”
Edgar frowns and shakes his head slowly from side to side. “Not if Doris doesn’t come back.”
Greg appears by his side. He looks around like he doesn’t know where he is.
“Greg!” I stand up to faux-hug him but he backs away. He doesn’t recognize me. The memory of us is gone.
“You loved me once,” I say though it’s pointless.
He smiles and nods. “I wish I could remember that.”
“Me, too.”
Edgar stands up and says, “Will you two stop being so fucking morose?”
“Why should we?” I ask. “Things aren’t exactly going well.”
“True, but why don’t we spend Greg’s remaining time doing something fun?” Edgar beams like he’s just had the best idea in the world. He holds out his hands to us and we form a circle of energy without actually touching.
There’s a tug and a “whoosh” and then we’re on a giant Ferris wheel. The bench seat is large enough for all three of us. Except there’s no safety bar holding us in. We’re going around at a perfect pace. Not too fast, not too slow. The sky is blue and there is a slight breeze. A real breeze. I’m sitting in the middle. It feels like where I belong.
“What happens if we fall?” I ask.