I listened to my voice messages first. They were all from Sophia. Each one telling me about how she scored an interview for my father and Alex Kavon in five days. “Sophia just got Kavon to agree to an interview with us,” I said, tapping Lexa on the shoulder.
I figured she’d be happy that maybe she wouldn’t lose her job, but her face paled and her eyes widened in confusion. “What? How?”
I shrugged and stood up, stretching. “I guess she wasn’t lying. She’s been in contact with him.”
“Wow,” she smiled, tightly. “I can’t wait to see what he looks like.”
We both walked out of the plane deep in our own thoughts. “Hey,” I said when I noticed her walking in the opposite direction of where we were supposed to be going to meet my driver. “I have a driver picking us up in the—”
She waved a hand at me limply. “That’s okay; I have my own way of getting back. Thanks for everything, Mr. Holt.”
Mr. Holt?
Shock punched through my chest. What the hell just happened? “Lexa, let me just drop you off.”
She was still walking away with her small purple suitcase rolling behind her. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled sadly. “I have someone waiting for me. Thanks anyway. I’ll see you around work.”
I should be happy Sophia came through for me. I should be on top of the world that the magazine had hope. But there’s nothing.
There’s nothing because I know damn well my words hurt Lexa. She thought I did this thing as a favor. How do I tell her I’ve never wanted to be as close to a woman as I wanted to be with her? How it’s been so easy, too damned easy, to not think about anyone else? How? Two days had passed since I’d seen her. I hadn’t seen her at work despite my efforts to visit her office. She wouldn’t answer my texts. Everyone at the magazine was panicked about the chance of losing their jobs if Kavon didn’t help us. And all I could focus on was how much I missed being in the villa. No, I had to be honest with myself; it wasn’t the villa. It was all Lexa. I missed her.
I grabbed my phone from off my nightstand and pulled up our video.
My grip on my cell tightened when I heard her low, breathy moans and the vision of us appeared on my screen. Christ, she was the sexiest woman I’d ever seen. The flex of her calves, the curve of her spine, the open-mouth way she kissed me. Damn, that woman kissed me with her whole body. I was instantly hard.
I watched as my hands pressed into her skin, clinging onto her—mesmerized by the size of my own cock taking her and the way she moved around me. The screen showed me a clear view of me sliding in and out of her. She was so wet.
I slid my hand under my shorts as I watched the way I stretched her open. The dirty words coming out of her mouth telling me what she wanted made me feel feverish—filthy things falling from her beautiful, plump lips. Remembering the way it felt to be inside her was killing me as I continued to watch. She looked like she really wanted me, as if she was really being pleased by me. How hard did I make her come?
I was stroking myself watching us, and I couldn’t finish because I could have the real thing and I let it walk away. Watching the way her body wrapped around my cock and how when I pushed in hard she moaned and raked her nails down my back. The hard thrusts she’d taken from me were relentless and the way she played with herself and made herself come from the vibrator while I was inside her was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Fuck me—we were the sexiest couple alive.
Would she watch this video? Fuck, would she watch it with me? Would she let me slip inside her again? How could she not be affected by watching it? I was delirious with lust from seeing us.
I wanted her again. I needed her.
Should I write it? What the hell would she think? I didn’t want her to hate me for missing her—missing us.
She ignored my flirt. Shit, she didn’t feel the same way, did she?
I needed to see her. I needed to talk to her. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but the thought of not being near her was driving me crazy.
I didn’t care how late it was.
I banged on her apartment door and she answered immediately. She was alone inside, thank God, but her eyes were wide. “I know. I’m sorry to surprise you like this, I just needed…” What did I need? I felt like I was fourteen again, standing in front of my high school crush.
She wet her lips with her tongue and darted her eyes behind me. She looked rushed and I hadn’t a clue as to why she didn’t want to see me—why she wasn’t happy. She started pacing in front of me and watching the door. “I’m kind of busy right now, James.”
A few boxes were lined up along the front wall by the door, as if she was packing to leave. Suddenly, I was even more tongue-tied and scared. Scared she’d say no. I didn’t want to be without her. I didn’t want to be with anyone else but her. I flinched back as the realization slammed into me freight train fast.
This is what it feels like?
“I needed to see you again,” the words tumbled out of my mouth.
She nodded—any words she wanted to say seemed to die at her lips. Why wouldn’t she just tell me what she needed—what she wanted? Didn’t we get over this?
I scanned the boxes and glanced back at her. “Are those coming or going?”
She stared at me blankly, hesitating, still holding her words back like she was scared of me. This is what I did by making her feel like what we did was a favor to her. I was an asshole.
“Does it matter?” she asked.
I had no clue how to respond to that. The whole situation suddenly turned sour. It was awkward and pathetic because we were both holding back all the things we wanted from one another, because we both lacked faith in each other. “It was never a favor to you, Lex.”
She made no reply.
“I wanted you,” I said hoarsely. I still did.
“Well, you certainly had me.”
Before I could argue her doorbell rang, and the look on her face was terrifying. Without an explanation, she opened the door and Trager stepped in. My heart sank as he wrapped his arms around her, laid his stupid face in her neck, and breathed her in.
“Holt,” Trager grunted when he noticed me. His hands gripped Lexa’s hips. My hips. The ones my mouth had been on for the last three weeks.
I nodded at him. Words wouldn’t come out.
“Mr. Holt,” she said. What the…? She was calling me Mr. Holt again? “I have an early start tomorrow and it’s late. Was there anything else you needed?”
“Can I speak with you privately, Miss Novak?” I asked low.
She blinked her eyes slowly, as if to find some inner strength, and blew out a quick puff of breath. “I have something to deal with right now, Mr. Holt. I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow morning.”
“That’s it? That’s what you want?”
“Right now I just need some space. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Then I found myself in her hallway, outside her apartment door. I raced toward home and cursed the entire way. How could she go back to him? After everything we did? As soon as I made it to the first red light, I pulled over and called her.
“Hello?”
“There is no way I’m letting you go back to him,” I snapped into the phone.
“Him who?” she asked.
“Trager,” I replied.
“Why the hell would I do that?” she asked.
“Why was he there?” I demanded.