I stood up amongst the fighting. Somewhere to the left of me, papers flew up into the air. I slid my way toward the door. The only thing I could honestly think about was writing an article about how sexist assholes still exist or mean girls aren’t only in high school.
“Lexa?” I heard Jameson’s voice over everything else and it stilled my movements.
I leaned my palm on the door for support. This was going to end everything. This was going to cause it all to go up in flames. But he was leaving to go to California, wasn’t he? The three weeks were over and it was all just fun. Everything that led up to it. The texts. The talks. Everything. It was numbers 1-9 on the list. The thing is I needed more. I needed number ten.
I deserved it.
“Lexa?” he called out again.
“It’s me. I’m Alex Kavon,” I said.
23
Lexa
“The jig is up!” @Kavon #PeekABoo #UmSurprise
The chaos around us crashed to a screeching halt. People stopped in mid sentence, paused in mid stride, and everyone’s eyes snapped to me.
“How can you be Alex Kavon?” Remington demanded.
“Unscramble the letters, sir. Alex-Lexa. Kavon-Novak. It’s me. I tried to tell you. I emailed Remington dozens of times.” I shrugged and threw my hands up into the air. “Why open an email from some meager little fact checker, right?”
“There’s no way,” James said, standing up from his chair and leaning his palms down flat on the table. His face turned menacing. “Regardless of the unprofessional activities that have run rampant in this building, this is a business. People’s livelihoods are at stake here. The games need to stop. Alex Kavon is a brand worth millions. He’s been established for years. It can’t be you.”
“It was just a scrambled profile name. I started blogging when I was fifteen. It’s really easy to be someone else behind the cover of a computer screen, sir.”
“She’s a liar,” Sophia cried out, but Kevin shoved his hand over her mouth and urged her to sit down quietly. I watched their motions. She flung herself in defeat, collapsing against the chair. It rolled with the momentum and spun her around. Everyone else just watched me.
“So you could have saved us all this grief? This whole time?” James asked low.
“I sent your father everything, I…” I plopped myself down in the nearest chair, not able to stand under James’s scrutinizing stare any longer.
“You could have just scheduled a meeting and told me,” Remington growled.
“I did everything I could to make you see…”
“No you didn’t,” Remington spat.
I stood up so fast the chair rolled out and swung against the wall. “The problem is that no one in the entire building ever listens to one another.” I glanced between James and his father. His head was now leaned back against the wall and his eyes screwed tightly shut. “I’ve been here, right in front of you the whole time. You never knew. I asked repeatedly for you to read my work. All you wanted was the brand and the following. You didn’t want me.”
“You did try to tell me,” Jameson’s voice was soft, low.
Shaking my head, I made my way to the door, but he was right behind me trying to pull me back to center stage. I didn’t want to go and there was no way I was going to be humiliated again in front of everyone. Tripping over my own feet, I staggered ungracefully into the hallway. James followed me out and slammed the conference room door behind us.
His voice hissed in my ear, “All that time I was trying to tell you to be open and I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain by listening. No wonder you hate me.”
I snapped my head back and looked at him over my shoulder. “I would never hate you. Never.” I turned to face him. “You showed me the most amazing three weeks of my life.” My hands turned clammy and my heart sped faster. It was now or never. “I told you I wanted to fill in Alex’s place. I wanted to show you my work, but you told me you couldn’t settle for me. You made me feel like you wouldn’t settle for me at work or anywhere else.”
“No. I didn’t mean to—”
“It doesn’t matter! I don’t want someone to settle for me. I want to be wanted more than anyone else. That I fucking deserve.”
“Tell me want you want me to do,” he said softly.
“No. You make up your own damned mind about what you want to do,” I said.
“Just say it,” he demanded.
“Are you really going to California?” I asked in a shaky whisper.
“Yes,” he said immediately.
I took a step away from him and shook my head, “So. It wouldn’t matter what I would say. It would just make me look foolish. Enjoy California.” I jogged away from him down the hallway, brushing my fingers along the walls silently, making my way into the bathroom. I needed to leave—pack my desk and leave. Start over. Go somewhere where people didn’t form ideas of you because of your age or your gender. A place where I could find someone who thought I was worth sticking around for.
The bathroom was quiet, deserted. In the mirror above the sink, my face looked pale. Bright red spots covered my cheeks and rimmed around my eyes like I’d been crying for days. My heart pounded painfully fast inside my chest as I leaned over the sink. I needed to get out of here without anyone noticing.
Taking in a deep breath, I turned the faucet, ran the cold water over my hands, and pressed them to my face. I wish it hurt less. I wish it wouldn’t have been so personal. But it was, wasn’t it? It was. I fell for Jameson Holt in the worst way.
Grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser, I dried my face and evened out my breathing. When my pulse slowed down enough, I peeked my head out of the restroom and snuck silently back out into the hallway. I jumped into an empty elevator and descended to the dungeon to gather my belongings and leave.
It might be foolish of me to run, but what did I have to fight for? Jameson was going to be heading the offices in California—there was nothing worth spilling my guts over. He was choosing to leave no matter what.
24
Jameson
“Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I just spent 3 hours Googling fun with bacon. So that’s where I am in life right now.” @Kavon #WhenYouHaveBaconYouAreNotAlone
“Have you heard from her at all?” Evan asked, raising his glass to his lips and scanning his eyes around the crowded bar.
I hung my head down and rubbed the back of my neck. “No. She won’t answer any of my calls or texts.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Does she know you’re back?” His eyes darted nervously around.
“I don’t think so. Why would she?”
He shrugged again. “Thought you were pissed at her. Figured you were going to stay in California and get some west coast pussy. Why are you even here?”
“I’ve been gone for a month and forgot how crude you are,” I said, shaking my head. “I just wanted to get back here. And you said you were here when I called you. What’s wrong?”