Such a disgusting habit and one I didn’t even understand. He was an Angel for goodness sakes! It wasn’t like he could feel the buzz of nicotine, or even waste away his lungs or throat. He was completely impervious to the effects, so why do it?
It didn’t make sense to me.
But then again, Jude didn’t make sense to me.
My mom pulled up to our house a little before five, and while I gathered the shopping bags into my hand she turned around and smiled at Jude. I was already thrown off by her behavior, but she shocked the hell out of me when she asked him to stay for supper.
“Would you like to stay for dinner, Jude?”
Apparently he was confused, too, because for several moments he just stared at her. Finally, and a little bit sheepishly he said, “Isn’t your house blessed?”
My mom laughed lightly, a little embarrassed. “Oh, right,” she said. “I forgot about the whole Fallen thing.”
“You forgot that I was Fallen?” He asked while sounding amused.
She didn’t answer him with words, just smiled brightly at him. Finally she said, “Alright, well, I’m sure we’ll see you around.” And then my mom just got out of the car and went inside.
What in the world?
I scrambled out after her, desperately trying to reach the safe haven of my house. I could easily leave Jude standing out here all by himself. I just wanted to erase the entire bizarre memory of him today.
“Does your mom usually invite her enemies to dine with you?” he asked sounding perplexed.
“I think you’re the first.” I shut my door and turned around. Jude was right behind me and just stood there, as if I wanted to talk to him some more. “I doubt she’ll ask you again though, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“Maybe I’ll ask her to dinner?” He waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and I swung out and hit him with my garment bag.
“You’re disgusting.”
“If only you didn’t love me so much.”
“Ha!” I shook my head at him and started to walk backwards, away from him and away from his friendly/non-friendly ways. “If only.”
“Thanks for letting me tag along today,” he called out after me. “It was fun.”
I knew he was being sarcastic; he had to be. So I just waved him off and turned around. “Whatever, Jude.” I called out and then slipped inside my house.
I didn’t look back at him, or check to make sure he was gone. He was right, he was Fallen, he couldn’t even walk through the door. I felt safe in my home, sheltered from a world that wanted me dead and had expectations of me I couldn’t meet.
I felt cocooned in here, away from Jude or Aliah or Seth. This was a place filled with love and acceptance. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever- obviously not. But I needed to feel safe tonight.
“Mom, why did you invite Jude to dinner?” I demanded once my bags were thrown on my bed and she was loading the oven with a few frozen pizzas. “I’ve never seen you act so crazy in my entire life.”
She shot me a sly smile from across the kitchen. “He was on our porch earlier, Stella. And he walked freely on our land. It’s not just the house that’s blessed. It’s the entire property.”
“So what are you saying?” I felt dizzy all of a sudden. Nothing that was supposed to be true was. Everything was different than it seemed.
My dad walked in from the living room, remote control in hand and stared at my mother, waiting for her to explain.
“I’m saying he’s not entirely Fallen.”
“Um, yes he is.”
“Stella, that boy asked permission to smoke in my car, he stood on our land and found you that dress.”
“You found that dress,” I argued.
“Jude handed me that dress, kid. He’s not all bad. I know he was kidnapped as a child. Maybe…. maybe somehow he hung onto some of his original goodness.”
“Or he’s tricking us. Maybe he’s like Seven. She is clearly out of her mind with evil and we still can’t detect her or feel evil around her.”
“Maybe,” my mom agreed thoughtfully. “Or it’s something else entirely.”
“What is the something else entirely?” I asked carefully.
She laughed again, “I have no idea. But it seems smart to keep an eye on him. Make sure we know what he is up to.”
“This was the kid from the porch earlier?” my dad asked gruffly.
“The third to the contract,” my mom explained.
“Keep an eye on him, Stella,” my dad ordered. “He might be nothing. He might be our worst enemy.”
“Or….” I prompted because I felt unconsciousness coming on.
“Or, he might be a little of both. But either way, we need to know.”
“He makes me uncomfortable,” I groaned.
My dad pulled me into a side hug in commiseration. “It’s odd that we are dealing with the Fallen as much as we are. I know that. In all of history, I can’t seem to recall a situation where we interacted so much with them. Everything before now, before Seth, has been battle after bloody battle. I honestly, don’t know what to make of it.”
“And I don’t know what to do with it,” I added softly. It felt more like my responsibility than anything else. And because I wasn’t able to solve this problem, it also felt like my failure.
“They chose you for a reason,” my mom reminded me as if reading my mind. “You were handpicked for this task. Whether you know now or not, you have everything you need to handle this problem.”
“Still think I should go to prom?”
My mom smiled at me and my dad squeezed me in closer.
Laughing my mom said, “If you don’t, I’m going to! That dress needs to be worn!”
I laughed, too, because she was right. No matter how deadly or frustrating my life became, that dress was officially my first priority. Prom was only a week away and school would be out for the summer in three weeks. I could spend my entire summer looking for Seth if I wanted to. And I wouldn’t have to see Jude every day either.
So until then, the dress took priority. Besides, my dad was right. I only had a little over a year with Tristan left. I wanted to make this a good year. I wanted to make amazing memories with him that I would be able to keep with me forever. I would start with prom. I would start with holding on to him as closely as I could now.
And then, maybe, when I was forced to give him up entirely, I could keep a little piece of him with me.
That had to be true. Because the alternative was to lose a big piece of myself with him instead.
Chapter Twenty-One
It had been a long day. A really, freaking long day. But it was over.
Well for the most part.
I flung myself onto my bed, face down. Every muscle and tendon in my body screamed from the abuse I’d put it through. My veins hurt I’d pushed myself so hard.
Soccer was over, so I didn’t have to hold back anymore with easy practices and human standards. I got to demand the most from my body, push it to every last limit. And I had spent the entire afternoon and evening doing just that.
Then there was training.
And it wasn’t like Jupiter ever held back with me. Especially not now.
He was as single-minded as I was. And our session was made even worse because it had been so long since either of us had seen or heard from Seth. The fragile remains of decency were long erased from the empty place where his soul used to reside. There would be nothing left of goodness to guide him, no moral compass or voice of reason to whisper truth into his ear.
Three weeks was not that long to a normal person, but alone, with the Darkness and all the evil they had to offer, was more than a lifetime. With my frustrating innocence and straggling naivety, I honestly couldn’t even imagine what Seth had been through recently.