At the risk of missing dinner, I turned toward my father’s apartment. If he was still in bed, perhaps I could convince him to come and eat with us. I found Bron in her usual spot.
“Sunny…” she said and her expression was sympathetic. “I wanted to come and see you right away, but there were Domers down here.”
“What is it?” I knew something bad had happened to my father.
“They took him. I tried to intervene, but there was nothing I could do.”
“They took him?” I repeated stupidly. I’d seen her form the words and I’d heard them, but my brain refused to accept the information.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could have done something.”
“Are there still Domers down here?” Jack asked.
“No. They left with her father.”
I turned on Jack. “Where did they take him? You of all people would know where they would take him. Tell me!”
“Sunny, I don’t know —”
“Tell me!” I yelled.
But he didn’t tell me. He just looked at me with a defeated expression, and I wasn’t ready to be defeated. In only a few months my entire life had been shattered beyond recognition. The only anchor I’d had left in my life was my dad still living in our family home where I grew up. He couldn’t be gone.
“Tell me!” I yelled again.
But he just shook his head, and my anger flared. I was sure he knew where they took him, and I would do anything to get that information out of him. I pummelled my fists against his chest, but he grabbed my wrists, preventing me from doing much damage.
“Sunny.”
I didn’t want to hear his lies. “You tell me!”
“I’m going to take her home,” he said to Bron over my head.
“This is my home! And I’m not going anywhere with you!”
I tried to break away from his hold on my wrists, but he pulled me down the hall with him. I wasn’t ready to leave my home yet. I needed to see for myself that Dad wasn’t in there. Maybe Bron had made a mistake. I pulled against his hold, but he just tightened his grip.
“Let me go! I need to go back and see. Maybe he’s still in bed, and Bron just didn’t see him,” I sobbed.
Jack pulled me to him by my wrists and looked into my eyes. “He’s gone, Sunny. They have him.”
I didn’t want him to tell me that. I didn’t want to believe it. But somewhere deep down inside, I knew the truth. Bron said Domers took him. Domers didn’t come down here to kick people out of their homes. There was only one reason they would come for my father. Me.
I couldn’t have stopped the flood of tears that came pouring out even if I’d had the strength to try. I had been so naïve to trust Leisel. I thought she had been worth the risk of helping, and yet it had cost me far more than I ever could have imagined. Just thinking of her set every fibre of my being tingling with hatred, and it sapped the rest of my strength. I felt my legs give out from under me, and Jack let go of my wrists to catch me.
“I’m going to take you home.”
“No. I don’t want to go.”
“What the hell are you doing to her?” Reyes yelled from down the hall.
I lifted my head from Jack’s shoulder and looked up to see Reyes bearing down on us. He looked like he was ready to kill Jack. I pushed away from him, hoping my legs would hold me up. They did.
“Reyes, it’s not what it looks like.”
But Reyes didn’t listen. He headed straight for Jack. “I told you not to touch her,” he ground out between clenched teeth. He pushed Jack hard, making him back up a few steps.
“He wasn’t touching me like that!”
Reyes was taking another run at him, and I put my hand on his arm and stopped him. I saw Jack getting ready to spring at him. I knew what damage Jack could do to Reyes, and I silently pleaded with him to leave Reyes alone. I saw Jack relax.
“Then what the hell was he doing?” Reyes looked at me for the first time. “You’re crying.” He gave Jack another accusatory glare.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I asked Reyes calmly.
He turned back to me and gave me a nod. I slipped my hand into his and walked down the hall with him. I hadn’t been alone with Reyes since the night I was drafted to work at the bachelor party, and I owed him so much.
“They took my father,” I said when we’d found a place to be alone.
“I heard. It’s always big news when Domers come into the Pit. You know I’m still here for you.”
He looked into my eyes and brushed away my tears. I looked back into his dark eyes. When he wasn’t angry or upset, he had kind and loving eyes. I always thought they were his best feature. He brought his lips to mine, and we kissed. The kiss was gentle at first, but then he became more aggressive. He backed me up against the wall, and his hands started searching under my t-shirt.
“Stop!” I said, breaking away from his lips.
“I don’t want to stop this time.” He kissed my neck while his hands continued their search despite my struggles. “What are you wearing?”
“God, Reyes, this is not the time!” I pushed hard against his arms, trying to free myself from him.
“It’s never the right time, Sunny.” He dropped his hands from me and took a step back. “I don’t understand. We’ve been together so long! If you loved me you would want to.”
“For god’s sake, Reyes! I just found out that my father’s been taken into custody. I don’t know if he’s being tortured or already dead.” I was astonished by his complete lack of sympathy.
“And I might lose you.” Despair laced his voice.
Now I understood his desperation to make love to me, even though it wouldn’t help either one of us. In fact, it would just make things more difficult. Not only was I a felon on the run, I was legally married now. “Oh, Reyes,” I said softly. “I’m sorry I did this to you. I’m sorry we can’t be together.”
“We can still be together. You don’t have to live with that bourge.”
“But I don’t have anywhere else to go and neither does he.”
“Who cares if he has somewhere to go? Get rid of him, and I’ll move in with you.”
I tried to figure out what he was asking of me. Why was he bringing this up now, just when I was trying to deal with the news of my father? Didn’t Reyes know that my life was a mess? Why was he trying to complicate it even more?
“You know what you’re asking is impossible,” I said, shaking my head. “The first time we had to scan in during a lockdown, we’d be caught and arrested.”
“Or maybe you just don’t want to get rid of him.”
“What?”
“Maybe your marriage to him wasn’t an accident. Maybe it happened exactly like the president’s daughter said!” He took another step away from me.
“No. It happened exactly the way I told you. I didn’t lie. I’m not in love with Jack, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him hurt. Right now, our new identities are the only thing keeping us safe.” As I said the words a little voice inside my head started laughing at me. Safe for how long? I wondered if I was going crazy. How could Reyes demand a future with me when I could be dead tomorrow? Didn’t he know my life was as good as over?
“I don’t know what to do,” he said in frustration.
“Neither do I.” We looked at each other for a moment, knowing we had reached an impasse. Finally I broke the silence. “It’s going to be lights out soon. I need to get back.”
“Think about what I asked.”
I smiled sadly and gave him one last kiss before I made my way back to the apartment. I could think about it all I wanted, but nothing was ever going to change.
Chapter Sixteen
Jack was doing sit-ups when I walked into the apartment. I had hoped he would be asleep since I didn’t really feel like talking. It was as if my life had become surreal, and I was nothing more than an apparition walking through it. Although being so disconnected from my feelings wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience.