Jack stopped exercising when I walked in and jumped to his feet. “I was worried about you,” he said a bit awkwardly.
“There was no need. I was with Reyes.”
“That’s one of the reasons why I was worried.”
I raised my eyebrows. “He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Really?”
I glared at him.
“You were very upset.”
“Was I? I can’t imagine why. I mean it’s not like my dad was just taken prisoner, or that my best friend is being used by a monster or that I’m on the run from being executed… Oh wait! I am.” I ripped off my hat and threw it on the table.
He spread his arms wide. “You can take your frustrations out on me.”
For some reason, my thoughts wandered to Reyes and his insistent groping a few minutes earlier. It had all gone so badly with him. I knew despite everything that had happened that he still wanted me, but I didn’t think I had anything left to give. My heart was too full of murderous desire.
“In my mood, I might just do some real damage.” I flopped down into a chair. “Tell me now, Jack. Where do you think they would take him?”
“He’s probably being questioned about you. About us.”
“Would they torture him?” I asked even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
“Maybe. I don’t know for sure. It depends on what he tells them right away.”
I could tell he was being honest with me, but I felt there was something he wasn’t telling me.
“Will they send him back? When they’re done questioning him, will they send him back here?”
He looked at me for a few moments before he answered, as if weighing his answer. “Probably not.” His expression was pained.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands, and tried to absorb this information. Yet somehow my mind couldn’t accept it. I dragged my hands down my face and looked at him. “What will happen to him?” I wanted to know everything no matter how much it tore me up inside.
Jack looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know for sure. Maybe he’ll be Culled early.”
“Culled early.” I rolled the thought around in my head. “There’s no such thing as being Culled early. Fifteen years ago when your people tried to lower the age of the Cull to thirty, we rebelled and the age was kept at thirty-five. So you see, I know there’s no such thing as being Culled early. If my father is killed now, it’s called murder.”
“I’m sorry. Just tell me what I can do for you. I’ll do it.”
“There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do. The bourge will win like always.”
“So you’re giving up?”
“What else can I do? They’ve taken away everyone I ever loved. My mother and father are gone, my best friend is gone, and pretty soon you and I will both be gone. We can’t win. The odds were always stacked against us.” The lights went out, leaving us in darkness. “See? They even tell us when it’s time to go to bed. Good night, Jack.”
“I’ll take the chair.”
“No, it’s my turn tonight.” I made my tone intentionally dismissive.
He hesitated a moment. “Good night, Sunny.”
I watched him stumble his way to the bedroom, knocking things over as he went, and marvelled at how completely blind he was in the dark.
I hunkered down in the chair even though I was sure I was never going to get to sleep. My head was pounding and my stomach upset. I tried to sort through the mess that was my life, but my brain refused to cooperate. Instead, I found myself thinking about when Summer and I were kids in school and all we had to worry about was getting our homework done. Somehow, I managed to drift off to sleep wrapped up in the memory.
The bong bongs ringing out startled me awake. It felt like I had just closed my eyes. I pushed myself up on my elbows and looked around the bedroom. My bulletproof vest was on the floor beside the bed. I was confused because I was sure I went to sleep in the chair.
I heard Jack moving around in the other room. Although I would have preferred to lie down and pull the blanket over my head, I forced myself out of bed and got dressed. Jack was at the sink splashing cold water on his face when I went into the next room.
“I thought I was supposed to take the chair last night.”
“I missed the chair. It’s comfortable.” I could tell he was lying.
“No, it’s not. And you look exhausted.”
“You could use some cold water on your face, too.”
I realized I must look a mess. My eyes felt hot and swollen from crying so I took his advice. The cold really did feel good even though it was a waste of our water ration.
“Thanks for taking my vest off me last night.” Getting the weight off for a few hours was good, but being half naked in front of Jack was not so good.
Jack turned a little red. “It was pitch black. I didn’t see anything. But I know how much you hate wearing it.”
“I do hate wearing it. It’s a constant reminder of what my life’s become.”
“Ready to go to breakfast?” he asked, his voice falsely bright.
“I’m not hungry this morning.”
“Oh, yes you are. Come on.” He threw my hat at me, and I caught it. “Food will make you feel better.”
I wondered why he was being so nice to me. I figured it was because I was ready to give up and if I did, we would both end up being caught. His survival was inextricably linked to my own. I didn’t feel like I owed him anything, but I didn’t have any desire to see him dead either, so I put my hat on and followed him out the door.
He headed down to the sixth-floor common room for breakfast. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go or not. Reyes would probably be there, hoping for an answer from me, and there was only one answer I could give him. I knew it wasn’t going to be what he wanted to hear.
The lineup for breakfast was still short at this early hour. I looked around the room and almost sighed with relief when I didn’t see Reyes. Maybe if we ate fast enough, I could get out of here before he showed up.
“Sorry to see your boyfriend’s not here yet,” Jack said once we were seated.
I opened my food container and felt a wave of nausea.
“Eat it,” Jack said. He must have seen my expression.
I took a spoonful and forced it down. “Summer’s not here either.”
“You miss her don’t you?”
“Very much.” The food was getting easier to eat and my stomach was feeling better. I finished the container and downed my glass of water. Jack was finished, too. “I guess we should head to work.”
“You don’t want to wait and see Reyes?”
I shrugged. “I’ll see him tonight.”
He raised his eyebrows, but didn’t push for an answer.
We walked silently together to the stairs. He surprised me when he gently took my arm and pulled me toward him and kissed the top of my head. “Stay safe,” he said and then began his descent into the mines. I stared after him, wondering at his act of affection.
When he was out of my sight, I made my way up to the second floor. Crystal was already there, waiting patiently for the room to be unlocked. When she saw me coming, she quickly turned her attention to the floor. Obviously, she didn’t want to socialize, which was fine by me. I didn’t want to either. So we stood together in an awkward silence. She gave me a sidelong glance every once and a while. I probably looked awful.
Supervisor Madi sneered when she arrived. “I see we have another early bird.” Perhaps being early wasn’t a good thing.
She unlocked the door, and I went to follow her in, but she let the door fall back and it almost slammed in my face. I caught it by one hand before it did.
“You didn’t think she was going to hold the door open for you?” Crystal asked.
“I’ll know better next time.”
As I walked into the laundry room, I realized that getting here early wasn’t such a good idea. Di wasn’t here yet, and I still needed pointers on the finer details of doing laundry. I scanned in and went over to the carts of dirty laundry already queued and waiting to be done. I took the first one, returned to the station I had worked at the day before, and started sorting clothes. I was almost done when Di walked in.