An aide came back and handed Dexter a printout. “ Minnesota ratified the term limit amendment fifteen minutes ago!”
“Excellent. Excellent news. What are we up to now? Twenty- five?”
“Twenty-six. Eight to go.”
Dexter considered. He asked for privacy with Bussie.
“Call Billy Begley,” he said. “Tell him to call the senate majority leaders and the speakers of the house in Rhode Island, Delaware, Wyoming, Oregon. Hell with it-tell him to call all eight. Tell them: on day one of the Mitchell administration, the OPEN FOR BUSINESS sign is going back up on the White House. Whatever they want. Dams, eel farms, Institute for the Study of How Many Gerbils Fit Up a Hollywood Actor’s Ass, a Museum of Lint, whatever. But Buss-tell Billy: we need the amendment now. Not after the election. Now. Tomorrow. Yesterday would be even better.”
“I’m on it,” Bussie said, flipping open his cell phone.
“Buss,” Dexter said. “We’re not the von Trapp family. Let’s not yell this from the mountaintop. And this did not come from me. What’s the most beautiful word in the English language?”
“Pussy?”
“The second most, then. Discretion, Buss. How do we spell it? D-i-s-c-r-e-t-i-o-n.”
“Dex. It’s my middle name.”
“Your middle name is Ellrod, Buss. But make the call.”
CHAPTER 27
SUPREME DISARRAY: COURT BESET BY LEAKS, FBI INVESTIGATION, AND NOW, INTERJUDICIAL ROMANCE
Intra, surely,” Declan said to Pepper. “Creeping illiteracy. And in the so-called ‘newspaper of record.’ ”
As front-page headlines go, it was not what a Chief Justice desires to wake up to in the morning. The third paragraph noted that public confidence in the Supreme Court as an institution was “sharply” on the decline. The story ended predictably with a reference to “quis custodiet.”
By noon, Justice Santamaria had dispatched to the Chief Justice’s chambers a memo as blistering as one of his legendary opinions.
Under the circumstances, I feel, nor am I alone in this dolorous excogitation, that the Court would best be served were you to resign as CJ, conceding frankly and straightforwardly and for the good of all, not least the country, that developments have overwhelmed your abilities to cope with them.
My feelings in this regard have nothing to do at all with-let me speak directly-the depravity that your recent rulings have condoned, nay embraced, from gay marriage (enough said) to the abominations inherent in Swayle and now Peester. But your insistence on calling in the FBI to deal with what should have been a family matter… this finally has shaken my confidence to the bone and cast a sickly-hued pall over this (once and pray, future) noble institution. And now this openly, flagrantly adulterous liaison with a colleague? What further degradations do you have planned for us? Orgies? Baccanales? Ecstasy raves in the Great Hall? Have you, Declan, finally, no shame?
May God save the Honorable, the Supreme Court of the United States of America.
Yours sincerely,
Silvio Santamaria, Associate Justice
“I think Silvio missed his true calling,” Declan said to Pepper. “Grand Inquisitor.”
“My takeaway,” she said, “aside from you and me being hell-bound adulterers, is that he’s the one who must’ve leaked Swayle. Think about it. Silvio’s idea of Utopia is the FBI banging down the door if they hear someone opening a pack of condoms on the other side. Why would he be so hot up about a legit FBI investigation? He’s had it in for me from the git-go. Hated me for coming on the Court. Hated me for Swayle. Hated me for dissing him in the conference. Hadda be him.”
“No,” Declan said, “there’s some undistributed middle here. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Silvio’s not the only one who’s up in arms over the fact that I called in the ‘gestapo.’ The only one who hasn’t harangued me is Paige, and that’s only because Paige doesn’t get upset about anything. It’s that New England Yankee sangfroid. The end of the world could be at hand and they’d just look up at the sky and mutter, ‘Looks like rain…’ ” He stared at Silvio’s letter. “I wonder how long before this ends up on the front page?”
“If it does,” Pepper said, “that would seem to cinch it that he was behind the Swayle leak. Well, Chiefy, what’s the next step here?”
“Well,” the Chief Justice said, “my inclination is to sock him in his big fat Jesuit nose. But seeing as he worked his way through law school boxing professionally and has fifty pounds on me, I’m not certain that’s the way to go. This term is going to be hard enough without having to wear a neck brace. Well, to work. Industry is the enemy of melancholy.”
“Rochefoucauld or refrigerator magnet?”
“William F. Buckley Jr.”
FOUR MONTHS BEFORE the November general election, and President Vanderdamp was in a funk because his poll numbers had been improving. He now trailed front-runner Dexter Mitchell by only eight points.
“Charley,” the President said, “what in the name of heck is going on with these darn numbers?”
“Well, sir,” Charley said, by now inured to these syllogistic conversations with his client, “apparently the people are responding to your clear signal that you don’t want to be reelected. They understand that you’re in it for the principle of the thing. They find it refreshing. Unusual.”
“All right, but what do you suggest?” the President said with a touch of asperity.
“How do you mean, sir?”
“The numbers. How do we-there must be some way of… tamping them down. Surely.”
Charley stared. “You want your poll numbers to go… down?”
“Well, I sure as heck don’t want them going up. At this rate I’m going to be neck and neck with Lovebucket on Election Day.”
It was a dilemma that had been keeping the normally sound-sleeping President awake nights. On the one hand, the thought of Dexter Mitchell ascending to an actual U.S. presidency was more than he could bear to contemplate. On the other hand, the thought of another four years… made him want to take the mother of all sleeping pills, but the National Security people had told him if he did, he was honor-bound to alert them so that they could summon the Vice President in the event they couldn’t wake the President to cope with a critical situation.
Charley nodded sadly. The far-off look came into his eyes. “I don’t know, sir. Maybe if you started sounding like you wanted to win? We could do a massive media buy on the theme of experience and steady hand on the tiller. Make it look like you actually-no.” Charley brightened. “No. I’ve got it. Yes. Announce a shake-up of the campaign. Fire me. Fire all the top people.”
“Why would I do that? You’re doing a perfectly good job, especially considering what I’ve given you to deal with.”
“It would send a signal of desperation!” Charley said, more animated than he had been in months. “A signal that you want to win. That you think the campaign isn’t going the way it-”
“Forget it, Charley. Nice try, though.”
Charley sighed. “We could always roll out a list of second-term initiatives. The usual hit-the-ground-running-on-day-one stuff. It might make them think you’d actually given some thought to a second term.”