“That’s… true.” Dani inspected her openly now. “So, that means that if I say I’m okay with you joining me, you’ll join?”
Lynn licked her lips as she made up her mind. “Yeah. You have my word on that.” She glanced to the side. “To Richard and to the Homestead, unless we die.” She smiled wryly.
Dani searched her features and lingered on her eyes. “Swear it on something that matters to you. At least that way, if you break your promise, you’ll know what a shitty person you are.”
Lynn thought about it. She could just swear it on something that seemed meaningful but wasn’t. That would allow her an out. She glanced at Dani and realized she couldn’t do that. She was trying to win her trust, and she could only do that with honesty. “I swear it on… the memories of Old Lady Senna.” After what she had told her last night, Dani must know that those meant a lot to her.
“That will do.” Dani wiped her hand on her pants and held it out. “We’ll do it together.”
Lynn took the hand and shook it. It felt clammier than hers. The deal was sealed now. A mixture of relief and dread warred inside her stomach and threatened her appetite. To prevent that, Lynn quickly took a bite and chewed. The mixture of salty and sweet over the mild taste of ash was oddly grounding, and she took another bite.
Dani started to eat too. “This is good.” She sounded genuinely appreciative.
The tension between them ebbed slowly.
Lynn settled. “Thanks. They came out nice.”
The wind had gone down, it would warm up soon, and Lynn had gotten half a night of good sleep. As soon as they got on the road, all aches and pains would vanish too. She was doing pretty good, and most importantly, she wasn’t alone. Those were all good things. Still, she faced a massive hurdle: convincing Dani to abandon her quest.
“How long before it starts to rain again?” Dani leaned out to look up past the awning above their heads.
Lynn hesitated. “Probably halfway through the afternoon. Those aren’t rainclouds.” She pointed above her, then moved her arm down to indicate clouds in the distance. “Those are, and they’ll catch up, but not for a while now that the wind has gone down.”
Dani inspected the sheen of dark gray on the horizon. “Time to go, then.”
Lynn stuffed the last of her bread into her mouth and wiped her hands on her coat. She stood and swallowed. “Time to go.”
“Dani? Can I ask you something?” Lynn cast a sweeping glance over the 95.
“Sure.” Dani didn’t take her eyes off the rustling leaves.
“I’ve been… I’ve been trying to figure out what was real about our interaction so far and what was fake.”
Dani checked on her.
Lynn averted her gaze.
“What do you mean?”
Lynn shrugged. “You know… you said yesterday that you’d had a plan all along. I’ve been trying to piece together what part of everything that happened was a setup and which part was genuine.”
“Oh.” Dani was quiet for a little while. “Fair enough question.”
“I thought so too.” Lynn smiled to keep the sting out of her voice. “And an answer would be nice.”
Dani seemed to consider her question carefully before answering. “I guess it was part of the plan to make you think Kate wouldn’t take me back. And that I was really angry with her. We’d discussed that part of the story, Kate and I, I mean. I always knew that if I couldn’t get you to come with me, I would have to get you to tell me how to get to Richard’s body. When you got antsy and started checking the overhead signs and memorizing the map, I figured you were getting ready to make your escape, so I forced a negotiation instead: your freedom for the location.”
Lynn set her jaw as a mixture of anger and shame coursed through her. Hearing how easily Dani and Kate had seen through her was incredibly embarrassing. The answer didn’t surprise her, though. She’d gone over every memory since leaving the Homestead with a fine-toothed comb during her watch and now, looking back, she could see the little things that hadn’t added up. Letting Lynn get her hands on a map, for example, when keeping Lynn in the dark about her exact location was one of Dani’s greatest boons, or Dani letting Lynn talk her into going out alone.
Dani had probably always known Lynn would leave. At that point, only Richard’s location had become important, and having a map helped to get there. The only thing that Lynn couldn’t figure out was why Dani was so hell-bent on getting Richard’s body alone when she had an obvious support system at the Homestead, most likely willing to join her. “Why didn’t you go back?”
Dani licked her lips. “I might have. If you hadn’t vowed to come along.” She looked up.
Lynn felt the world fall out from under her. She stopped walking. Realization dawned on her. “You were still playing me. Right up until this morning, you were playing me.” I don’t believe it! She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Seriously?”
Dani slowly came to a stop as well. She shrugged, but it was a nervous little shrug. “I-I really hadn’t expected you to come back! The plan was to find the spot you’d told me about, confirm Richard’s body was there, and then go back to get everyone. I didn’t want to drag them out without making sure there was a point.” She reached out to touch Lynn’s arm.
Lynn stepped back. She squinted at the appendage until it was withdrawn.
Dani wiped her hand on her pants. “When you came back, I figured if I could get you to come with me anyway, I wouldn’t have to endanger anyone. You and I doing this was always the plan. You said we could do it at the Homestead, and I meant what I said yesterday, that there are risks—huge risks—but that I think it can be done.”
“Who’s selfish now?” Lynn’s world had only just restored itself a little, and now…? Who was this woman who lied and manipulated to get her way? You can’t really blame her for being better at playing people than you are, Tanner. But she did. She most certainly did. This went far beyond wounded pride; this was betrayal.
Dani had the decency to look ashamed. “I know. All I can say in my defense is that I’m helping my family. You’re just…” She shrugged. “You found Richard’s body, and then you found us. Sorry.”
Lynn could barely believe what she was hearing—from Dani! Dani, who just yesterday had made her question everything about herself by making her feel like the scum of the earth! Who was scum now? Who was selfish, deceitful, and dishonest? “Y-You’re sorry?”
Dani ran her hand through her hair. “To be fair, this was exactly what you were trying to do to me, so don’t get too offended. For what it’s worth, I did say one thing yesterday I regret, about you being selfish. I think, overall, you’re really nice. And you really are very good at surviving out here. Having you with me does make me feel safer, and I really do think we can do this. We’re all trying to survive out here—myself included.” She tried to reach out again.
Lynn backed up another pace. “Don’t touch me. Just… don’t try to touch me.” She held up her empty hand in front of her. The other squeezed the shaft of her tomahawk so hard she wondered if she’d leave indentations.
“Okay, I won’t. And I get that you’re angry.” Dani swallowed. “But you promised, on your memories. You promised to come with me and bring Richard’s body home.”
Lynn’s anger rose to a new level—one where most rational thought disappeared and left only a single burning thread in her mind that she could actually hear inside her skull as a high-pitched, unrelenting whine. She took another step back because she didn’t trust herself not to swing her tomahawk into Dani’s skull. “Walk on. I can’t be near you right now. Just walk. I need to… to think.”