There was no verbal reply, just the shifting of blankets and a soft sigh.
Lynn wasn’t sure if she’d done anything wrong or if it was just Dani struggling with her own thoughts and emotions, but Dani was definitely struggling. Knowing that left her wide-awake, and she tried to work through a confusing mix of anxiety and hope. Here she was, not even sure they would make it back to the Homestead and already worrying about what would happen if Dani didn’t choose to come with her.
And what if she did choose to come? What if they ended up butting heads? Especially now this romantic—or maybe just sexual—element had been introduced, the chance of catastrophic failure of their potential partnership was even higher. Or it’ll make us work harder at it. This whole thing was doing her head in!
She tried to make out Dani’s shape, fighting the urge to get up and join her. It felt wrong to know Dani was having a hard time yet to stay away. Then again, maybe Dani liked being apart right now. Maybe some distance was exactly what she needed.
Lynn squeezed her eyes shut and threw her uninjured arm over her face in frustration. See? This is exactly why this is all a bad idea! You have no clue how to be with another human being—let alone be involved with them. She moved her arm just enough to peer past it at what she assumed to be the back of Dani’s head. This is stupid! You stare down wolves every other day. Just ask her the damn question and let her decide. “Dani? Do you want me to come over? Like… like two nights ago?” The seconds that passed before Dani replied felt glacial.
“Yeah.” That one word, said softly, was the only reply, but it was a clear answer.
Lynn got up right away. She gathered her knife and tomahawk as well as her blanket.
Dani scooted toward the wall to make room on the bedding and lifted her blanket to allow Lynn under it.
Heat radiated off Dani’s body as Lynn settled against her from behind. She put her weapons above her head, then wrapped her arm around Dani’s waist. After Dani got her hair out of the way, Lynn laid her head down and smiled. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” It seemed Dani had been reduced to one-word replies. She was also much more tense than she’d been two nights ago, but her heartbeat was steady and her breathing slow.
“Sleep well,” Lynn whispered. “Don’t think about anything right now. That’s for later.”
Dani nodded, and the tension receded from her muscles. “Yeah.”
Lynn couldn’t help but chuckle. “Can you say anything else?”
“Yeah.” This time, there was a small smile in her voice.
“Good.” Lynn kissed her shoulder instinctively. “I look forward to hearing more words tomorrow. Now sleep.”
Dani exhaled slowly and slid her arm over Lynn’s, then covered her hand with hers. She weaved their fingers together and gave a soft squeeze. “You make me very confused.”
Even so close to Dani, Lynn had to struggle to hear her. She swallowed. “Trust me,” she said just a hint more loudly than Dani. “I came into New York convinced I’d never let another person close ever again, and here I am, holding you, having kissed you, hoping you’ll come with me because I like being with you and… and I think life will be better with you. If anyone’s confused, it’s me.”
Dani squeezed her hand again. “Thank you. That helps.”
Lynn frowned. “Why?”
“Because you seem to have this all figured out.”
Lynn laughed and pushed up so she could try to get a glimpse of Dani’s face. “Are you kidding me? I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, and I’m terrified!” She couldn’t help laughing. How could Dani think she had a handle on all of this? “I have been on my own for years. Before you, I’d never even kissed anyone. Not like that. I’ve definitely never asked anyone to come with me. I have absolutely nothing figured out. I’m just hoping at one point it’ll all come together, and it’ll be good.”
Dani turned around so she could face her in the near dark. So close, Lynn could see that her eyes were shiny and wet. “You’ve never kissed anyone before?”
“That’s what you got out of that?” Lynn squinted at her.
Dani pushed her face against Lynn’s chest. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… That’s special.”
Lynn hesitated before cupping the back of Dani’s head and lightly scratching her scalp. She remembered how that soothed Dani. It didn’t fail to do so now. “Why is it special?”
Dani shrugged. “Because.”
Lynn tapped Dani’s head with her index finger. “Bad answer.”
“Because… I think… you trust me.”
Now it was Lynn’s turn to tense. Her suddenly frantic mind raced. Was it true? Could she admit that? What would it mean if she did? “I do.” The whispered words clawed their way out of her almost constricted throat. It wasn’t a hundred percent trust—Lynn doubted she was even capable of that—but she trusted Dani as much as she could. Deep down, she had known that, and it terrified her.
“Your heartbeat went wild.” Dani shifted her head against her chest to listen better. “Are you scared?”
“Yes.” She inhaled shakily. “Say something.”
“I trust you, too.”
The whispered words reverberated through Lynn’s chest, setting her on fire from head to toe and likewise chilling her entire body as if ice-cold water pushed through her veins.
“Now your heartbeat really went wild.” Dani sounded bemused.
Lynn just held on to the back of her head like a tether. She tried to find words in the sea of frantic thoughts raging through her mind. “I don’t trust people.” She barely recognized her voice, it was so hoarse. “And no one trusts me. That’s always been safer.”
Dani wrapped her arm around Lynn’s waist and pulled herself closer. “Haven’t you been lonely?”
The words hit like a sledgehammer. Combined with the warm hold, Dani’s breath on her chest, and her own fears, they caused tears to well up in her eyes. “Yes.” She curled herself a bit more securely around Dani’s body and rested her chin on the top of Dani’s head.
Dani’s hold intensified. “Then this is better.”
“Not if you leave. Then it’s horrible.”
Dani’s fingers played along her spine. “You could stay with us. We could do Richard’s job together. It would fix it alclass="underline" it would be safer, you wouldn’t have to deal with the Homesteaders much and… and we’d be together.”
Lynn inhaled Dani’s comforting scent. “I don’t know.” She didn’t know anything right now, but some weight did lift from her chest as Dani’s words seeped slowly into her fried brain. If things didn’t work out, she could leave—or escape, if the Homesteaders took her captive again—and Dani would still be safe. On the other hand, it meant settling down and opening herself to loss again. “I don’t know.” The repeated words came out broken.
Dani shifted and tilted her head up.
Warm lips connected with hers, then parted. Lynn whimpered and gripped Dani’s hair as she instantly searched for her tongue. Kissing Dani had chased away all her fears, all her worries, all her thoughts. She needed that more than ever right now.
Dani shuddered. She met Lynn’s tongue with a huff of breath, gripped her shirt with both hands, and pulled it up a few inches.
Lynn moved on instinct. She pushed against Dani’s mouth, searching for a revelation that would soothe her racing mind. Her tongue stroked with far less coordination than this afternoon. She wasn’t merely experiencing now or trying to prove herself—this was a hunt for either clarity or oblivion.
Dani hooked her leg behind Lynn’s knee and connected them more fully—breasts, bellies, sexes. She tilted her head to deepen the kiss.