James felt guilty.
Max was right. Obviously.
“Sorry,” said James.
“Mandy,” said Max. “You take the back.”
“What’s going on?” said James’s mom groggily, waking up.
“Nothing, Mom,” said James. “Everything’s fine. We’re just about to get going again.”
James found himself wringing his hands out, trying to get the sore feeling out of his palms. He put his hands on his lower back and stretched backwards, but it didn’t help the pain.
“Sorry, Mandy,” said James, as Mandy gripped the bare wood of the stretcher with her delicate hands.
“We’re not at our best,” said Mandy. “None of us are. Remember that. We’ve got to keep in mind we’ve barely eaten. We haven’t slept enough. If we’re going to keep surviving, we’ve got to recognize when we’re tired.”
That made James feel a little better.
“Now do us all a favor,” said Max. “And take Mandy’s place up ahead. Keep your eyes open.”
James nodded, and, after some instructions from Mandy about the direction they were headed in, he set off.
It was strange, walking in front of everyone. Everyone walked without speaking, and James felt like he was alone in the woods. He had to occasionally look behind him, checking to make sure they were still there.
They walked and walked, for what felt like forever. The sun had risen long ago, and they walked through the morning. They took some breaks here and there, and ate the few mushrooms that they had left. James offered to take Max’s place on the stretcher, but he shook his head, and kept telling James that they’d switch at the next break.
James knew Max was tired. Even exhausted. But he also knew he could push himself farther than James could. Who knew why. It was probably more mental than physical.
James’s thoughts turned around and around in his head as he walked. Before the EMP, he’d thought of the woods as a place where his mind would become calm. It’d always been a refuge for his mother, who he suspected really had needed those hunting trips, to get away from it all.
But now it was different. The woods did offer a sense of protection, compared to the road, at least. But anything could happen here. Anyone could be out there, waiting and watching.
James simply couldn’t relax. And that was probably good. He needed to be alert. But the sense of hyper-awareness was uncomfortable. His hands and feet were freezing. Probably from the adrenaline that he was running on.
Up ahead, James saw something. A flash by a tree.
He paused, stopping dead in his tracks. He held up his hand, indicating to the others to stop.
James didn’t move. He would have liked to drop to the forest floor, but he also thought that simply moving would make him more visible than he was standing still.
What he’d seen was either an animal or a human. Either food or a threat.
Either way, he was going to do the same thing. Try to shoot it. No, not try. He was going to shoot it.
They desperately needed to eat.
And if it was a threat, James was personally convinced that they didn’t need any more strangers around. They were all threats. The last one, that woman, had proven to be a disaster. They’d tried to do the right thing, and Max had almost lost his life for it.
James felt that he needed to harden up. If there was a stranger, maybe he should shoot first and ask questions later. Of course, there was the risk of killing someone innocent. Provided there were still innocent people out there somewhere.
James had to think of his family. His mother and his sister. Not to mention Max and Mandy.
James’s finger was on the trigger.
He was prepared to shoot. Or that was what he told himself, at least.
Movement. Off to his right.
He saw it.
It wasn’t a person.
It was a deer. A small one. Female.
Still a deer, though.
James didn’t think it through. There wasn’t time.
The deer was close enough that he thought he could hit it with his handgun.
He took careful aim, like his mother had taught him, and squeezed the trigger. The noise rang out, and the deer fell.
“Are you OK?” shouted someone. Maybe Max. Or Mandy.
“I’m fine,” called out James. “Looks like we’ve finally got something to eat.”
The others took a while to catch up him, since they had to carry Georgia along on her stretcher. In that time, James was already at the deer, kneeling down and examining it.
It had been a clean shot. Right in the head.
But James knew better than to give himself too much credit. The deer had been close, and standing sideways. It had been an easy shot, even with a handgun. A lot of it had been simple luck, nothing more.
The dead deer meant food. Full stomachs. Feeling better. More energy. More vigor.
It meant survival.
Somehow all these facts made the dead creature look beautiful, lying there on the ground. James had never before truly appreciated what it was to hunt a deer.
“Good shot, James,” said Mandy.
Max nodded his approval.
“Good job,” said his mother, looking sleepily up at him. He could tell she was still in pain, even being carried.
“Are we going to set up camp here, then?” said Sadie.
They all looked at Max.
“It’s a small deer,” said Max. “But it’ll be too much to carry.”
Max looked tired. Beyond tired, actually. His eyes looked somewhat sunken. Dark circles had formed under them.
Mandy, too, looked exhausted. Sweat covered her brow, as it did Max’s. James’s mom wasn’t particularly heavy, but carrying her for hours had taken its toll.
They were all tired, but they set about getting to work. After all, it wasn’t like the deer would simply be served to them. There was a lot of work to be done just to be able to eat. It was a far cry, James thought, from going through a drive-thru, or better yet, ordering food from a phone app.
James borrowed his mother’s knife, and set about field dressing the deer. He did it the way she’d taught him, but once in a while he still needed instructions from her. She gave them to him from where she lay in the stretcher, which had been set down on the forest floor.
It might not have been the best place to make a campsite. But it was where they were. They all agreed that spending the night there would be best. After they’d eaten, of course.
James felt how sore his muscles were as he worked. It seemed to take forever. Probably because of how exhausted he was.
Mandy went off to look for more water, while Max and Sadie set about gathering wood for a fire.
Finally, James was mostly done.
He glanced over and saw that Max was just getting the fire started. He was teaching Sadie how to do it along the way.
Max was always thinking ahead. When he could, that was. There was so much James could learn from him. It wasn’t just the present moment that was important. No, it was the countless moments and situations that would come. There might come a time when Sadie would need to know how to start a fire. A time when Max wasn’t there.
James had been careful with the organs, making sure to extract the deer’s liver as best he could. It was one of his mom’s favorite meals, and he took it to her now, and nudged her awake, showing her.
“Good job, James,” said his mom, giving him a weak smile.
“It’s all for you,” said James.
Georgia gave a weak little laugh. “I can’t eat all that. And everyone should have some of it.”
“You need the nutrients,” said James. “You’re recovering.”
“Remember, though,” said his mom, “that liver has huge quantities of vitamin A. Too much is actually detrimental. That’s how those early arctic explorers died, from eating polar bear liver. They got hypervitaminosis A.”