She squeezed a liberal amount of lube onto her fingers and considerately rubbed her hands together to warm it before she rubbed it over his dick.
The slick sensation of her hands gliding so effortlessly over his cock made his eyes roll back into his head. And when she arched up over him again and positioned him at her anus, he had to start imagining ice. Lots and lots of ice. Covered up in ice. Anything to assuage the inferno that swept over him.
Slowly she bore down and the tip of his dick spread her, opening her as gently as a flower. He held his breath and waited with burning impatience as she adjusted to his size.
"Not too fast, honey," he whispered. "Don't hurt yourself."
She smiled and gripped him a little tighter as she opened up more around him. Finally he felt her resistance give way and he slid into her snug warmth. She took him all the way to the balls, and he lost the ability to breathe.
"Are you okay?" he asked anxiously because if she wasn't, he wasn't going to be. Please, please let her be okay because he needed her to move.
"Mmmm."
She uttered that same purr of contentment she had earlier, and he knew it was going to be all right.
He arched his hips, loving the way he went just a little deeper and how she opened more for him. For a long while she remained still, his cock buried so far up her ass that his balls strained against her tush.
"This is the first time I've ever done this in this position," she said ruefully.
"You're doing fantastic," he breathed. "Just move a little. Mmmm, just like that," he said when she eased up just a bit.
"You like my ass?" she asked teasingly.
"I love your ass."
She leaned forward until her breasts swayed intoxicatingly over his chest. "What about my breasts?"
"You're teasing a helpless man, honey. I want to touch them so bad. I want to taste them. You have the most gorgeous breasts on a woman I've ever seen."
"And my pussy?" she whispered.
Goddamn. He closed his eyes and took several short breaths that reminded him of all those damn Lamaze advertisements.
"I wanna live in your pussy," he gritted out.
She laughed and settled over him again like a hot glove. Then she grew somber, her hot gaze sliding over him like a razor's edge.
"You're so beautiful, Nathan. Do you have any idea how much I loved giving you massages?"
"Then why the hell did you quit?" he burst out.
She gave him a sad smile. "Because you never saw me."
"That's a load of bullshit. How can any living, breathing male not notice you?"
She rose and sank down, leisurely, rippling over his cock, squeezing him for all he was worth.
"We'll talk about this later," he said in a pained voice. "This isn't the time."
"Agreed," she said huskily. "I want you to come inside me. I want to feel you hot and liquid in my ass."
"Jesus. Move, honey, I'm coming. Damn it."
She took mercy on him and began riding his thrusts, her ass bouncing off his thighs with a loud slap. The rise came swift, gathering like lightning. A bolt of white-hot electricity seared up his dick and exploded outward.
She clutched greedily at him, taking everything he gave her. Hell if she didn't demand more, riding him hard and fast. He loved that about her. No wimpy woman was this. She took what she wanted. She was fierce.
When he couldn't take any more stimulation, he pleaded for mercy. She didn't even tease. She sank onto his chest with an exhausted sigh.
He pulled against the cuffs in irritation. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to stroke her back and say absurdly sweet things to her. Well, he couldn't touch her so he'd have to make due with the sweet stuff.
"Julie?"
She stirred against him, lifting her head so that he saw her dark, sleepy eyes.
"I love you."
Her eyes went round with surprise. Her mouth opened then shut again.
Shit. He hoped he hadn't just made a huge mistake.
Chapter 31
Julie's stomach was in knots. Not just one of those nervous little twitches. She felt like she was going to puke. All because the man said he loved her.
She paced anxiously around the bedroom, stopping to listen every once in a while. Nathan was still in the shower, a fact she was grateful for.
What did she say? What did she do?
She wanted a man that looked at her like Damon looked at Serena. She wanted a man who looked at her with that "everything" glint in his eye.
Well, Nathan had looked at her that way. Just before he'd said he loved her. And it terrified her.
She was a coward. An absolute screaming ninny for what she was about to do, but she needed to get out. This wasn't something she could just bumble through. This was important. This was it. This was one of those moments that an entire life path formed around, and if she fucked it up, it would affect the rest of her life.
Okay, she could definitely cut some of the melodrama, but it was true. Nathan had looked at her with forever in his eyes, and she'd wanted to give him those words back. Wanted it badly, but she'd caught herself. He deserved more than just an obligatory utterance. She couldn't—wouldn't—say it just because he'd said it to her. No, by God, she'd mean it.
Did she mean it?
She let out a soft moan. She wished she could believe it. Believe him. What if he was just caught up in the moment? What if he did what all other men did and got tired of her strong personality and left her for someone more meek and feminine?
Sweat beaded her forehead as her nausea grew. Was she good enough for Nathan?
Oh God, she did not just think that. She was not doubting her self-worth because of a man. She raised a trembling hand to her forehead and knew she had to get out of there before Nathan got out of the shower and she made a royal mess of things.
Before she lost her nerve, she hurried to the bathroom door and knocked. Before waiting for an answer, she hollered through the wood.
"I have to, uh, go out, Nathan. I don't know when I'll be back. You can let yourself out. I'll, uh, see you. I'll call you. Yeah, I'll do that."
She heard a harsh expletive and the crash of the medicine cabinet, but she was bolting for the front door like the scared rabbit she was.
When she spied Nathan's keys on the bar, she had to laugh at her stupidity. She didn't have a car. Her rental was still at Serena's. And she was standing here like an idiot.
Making a split-second decision, she grabbed the keys and flew out the door. Seconds later, she threw herself into the driver's seat and jammed the keys into the ignition. She cranked it and fumbled with the gearshift then put it in reverse.
As she backed away, Nathan came running out of her apartment with just a towel around his waist. He looked pissed, even more so when he saw her in his truck.
"Julie, goddamn it!" he yelled.
She punched the accelerator and left the parking lot, her hands shaking. Okay, not smart. Really not smart. She was too humiliated to turn around and go back though. In for a penny, in for a pound.