8
I hurt everywhere. I had about two acres of bruises. Saucerhead had found places to hit that I didn't know I had. All body and soul wanted was to go lay up for a week. But mind knew it was time to find Morley Dotes. Not even Saucerhead Tharpe would have messed with me if I'd had Morley Dotes along.
Morley is the best at rough and tumble. And, by his own admission, the best at most everything else. Some people would like him and Saucerhead to square off, just to see how it would come out. But neither of them will swat a fly without getting paid first. And Saucerhead isn't dumb enough to take a job on Morley. Nor is Morley vain enough to contract on Saucerhead. Neither cares much about who might come out best. Which says something about their professionalism.
The obvious place to look for Morley was a place called Morley's Joy House.
The name is one of his bad jokes. It is a hangout for the elfin, the cartha, and breeds. The fare is vegetarian and nonalcoholic. The entertainment is so impenetrable and dull that the existence of a dead Loghyr might be exciting by contrast. But Morley's kind of people enjoy it.
The place went silent when I stepped inside. I ignored an arsenal's worth of death-looks as I limped to the alleged bar. Morley's barman gave me the once-over. He grinned, revealing pointy darkelf teeth. "You have a knack for making people mad at you, Garrett."
"You ought to see the other guy."
"I did. He came in for some sprouts. Wasn't a scratch on him."
Conversations picked up behind me. The barman was being as friendly as darkelves ever are. That made me a marginally acceptable lower life-form, presence tolerated. Like that of a beer-drinking dog in a human tavern.
"Word's around already, huh?"
"Everybody who ever cared about you one way or the other already knows the whole story. Slick the way you evened things up."
"Yeah. That's out, too? How'd it go?"
"She made it home. I figure that's one quail that won't ever mess with you again, Garrett." He cackled in that way they have that gives you chills and makes you wonder if you will ever wake up from the nightmare. "Next time she'll get somebody to cut your throat."
The possibility had occurred to me. I'd made a mental note to rummage up some of my more interesting gimmicks and armaments. In the general course of business I find being fast on my feet protection enough, so I load myself down with hardware only in special cases.
This case looked like it was getting pretty special.
The Dead Man had warned me.
"Where's Morley?"
"Up." He pointed. "He's busy."
I headed for the stairs.
The barkeep opened his mouth to yell at me, then thought about it. That might start a riot. In his friendly voice he said, "Hey, Garrett, you owe us five marks."
I turned around and gave him the fisheye.
"Saucerhead said you'd knock it off his tab."
"A grin like that ought to be bronzed and saved for posterity."
It got bigger.
"That big goof isn't as dumb as he looks, is he?" I dug down carefully, my back to the crowd. No point in showing what I was carrying and having the boys who were high on lettuce getting fancy ideas.
"Nope."
I flipped the five coins and headed upstairs before he could get back to trying to stop me.
I hammered on Morley's private door. No response. I pounded again, rattling hinges.
"Go away, Garrett. I'm busy."
I shoved through the door, which was not locked. Somebody's wife squealed and dove into another room, a fistful of clothing trailing. Otherwise, I caught nothing but a flash of fancy tail. It was not one I recognized.
Morley did his best to look elf-haughty in nothing but his socks and a snarl. He could not bring it off, despite being half darkelf.
"Your timing is lousy as usual, Garrett. Not to mention your manners."
"How did you know it was me?"
"Magic."
"Magic, my ruddy red. You have trouble making food disappear. If you call that silage you eat food."
"Ah-ah. Watch your mouth. You owe me one apology already."
"I don't apologize. My mother makes excuses for me. How did you know it was me?"
"Voice tube from the bar. You look awful, boy. Saucerhead must have sold that gal his top of the line. What did you do to her?"
"Wouldn't lie, cheat, and steal for her. And turned her down when she tried to bribe me with the big bribe."
He laughed. "You never learn. Next time diddle the gal and walk. She'll sit around wondering what went wrong instead of sending cutthroats after you." His grin vanished. "What do you want, Garrett?"
"I've got a job offer for you."
"Not something foolish involving Saucerhead Tharpe, I hope."
"No. I've got a job I need some backup on. I can thank Saucerhead for reminding me that if I don't get it soon my health might suffer."
"What's in it?"
"For me, ten percent of a hundred thousand marks, plus expenses. You're expenses."
He whistled soundlessly, his pucker bringing his dark hatchet features to even more of a point. "What do we have to do? Take out one of the Venageti warlords?"
"You're closer than you think. I have to go into the Cantard and find a woman who just inherited on the up side of a hundred thou. I have to talk her into either coming here to claim it or waiving her claim in favor of whoever is next in line."
"That doesn't sound so tough. Except for the part about the Cantard."
"There are some people around who might feel that the money was not the deceased's to bequeath. There are some in the deceased's family who feel a strong reluctance to let so large a fortune go to a stranger. There is the possibility of similar difficulties on the legatee's end. It's possible her relationship with the legatee was, shall we say, imprudent."
"I love it when you talk dirty, Garrett. And I love what money does to you humans. It's the only thing that saves you from being totally tedious."
I did not have anything to say to that. People do get silly about money.
"I take it your principal has his own ax to grind in this, or he'd be with the keep-it-in-the-family faction."
"Could be."
"Is he as nebulous as you are?"
"Could be. You interested?"
"Could be."
I winced.
He grinned. "Suppose I just follow you around for a while? You're a chatty sort of fellow. I'll let you know when you've said enough to let me make up my mind."
"Oh, happy day! The pleasure of his company without having to pay for it. All right."
"Who said anything about not paying for it?"
"I did. No play, no pay."
"You got an attitude problem, Garrett. All right. What are you going to do now?"
"Go wrap myself around a couple of pounds of steak."
He turned up his nose. "All that red meat is why you people have such a peculiar odor. Where should I meet you?"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Matter of some unfinished business," he said evenly.
I glanced at the door to the other room. "I see. I'll be back."
9
Morley had pecked around the edges till I'd about lost the restored good humor brought on by beer and a fully belly. "You have a basic character flaw, Garrett. I think it's a self-image problem. Ninety-nine people out of a hundred will say any damned fool thing that pops into their heads and not worry about how other folks will see it. With you every damned word is a contract with the gods."
I scowled up the street. There were lights inside my place.
"You can talk without feeling you've committed something, Garrett. Hell, you should do like me. Believe every word you say like it was godsmouth when you say it, then forget it in the morning. The appearance of sincerity counts for more than actual truthfulness. People only need to believe for a few minutes at a time. They know the name of the game. You take that lady I was with tonight. Am I in love with her? Is she in love with me? Not bloody likely. She wouldn't be seen in public with me. But I still had to say all the words."