“Sure you're not expecting?” he asked, peeking his head through an opening on the shelf.
I sneered at him, reaching through the shelves for a love tap, but he ducked. I ran around the aisle to catch him, but he was gone. Then I felt arms scoop around me from behind and I yelped as he lifted me off the floor.
I cackled as I wrestled from his grip. “If you keep this up, I'm going to make you my meatloaf!” I shouted, self-deprecatingly.
“Oh no, not the meatloaf.”
He put me to my feet and I spun around. “You said you LOVED my meatloaf,” I poked at his chest.
He put his hands up. “I do. I did. I swear. I'm just messing with you. You were the one who insulted your own loaf.”
“That's when you were supposed to then compliment it! I made it so easy for you to win me over. Take this loaf!” I hurled my loaf of bread a him, and he caught it, then he grabbed my forearm and pulled me in for a kiss. I guess I didn't quite understand what today's rules were. As our lips locked, footsteps marched in from the back of the store. An older man plopped a box on the counter and we hastily pulled away from each other.
“Good morning,” he called out. “Let me know if you need any help.”
“Thank you,” I answered. “Actually, we just need some eggs and bacon and we'll be on our way.”
“Let me just grab that for you. Meet me up at the counter.”
I recognized the man as soon as he placed the eggs and bacon on the counter alongside our other things. He had owned this store, I think since it had opened. He began to tally the items, when he squinted at Bobby.
“Heeeey, aren't you the Lightlys' boy?”
“Yes I am.” He smiled.
“Ooooh, my goodness, I haven't seen a Lightly in these parts, what has it been, five . . . six years?”
“Sounds about right,” he replied.
The man looked over at me. “And you, you used to be in these parts all the time as well. One of the Gales' daughters.”
“Yes, I spent summers with the Lightlys. My family would stay in one of the cabins on their property.”
“Ooooh,” he murmured. “Well you two look so grown.” He bagged a few items before acknowledging Bobby. “By the way, I am so sorry about your parents. They were just the finest people.”
“Thank you,” Bobby replied somberly.
“You know, I could have sworn you married Rory,” the man chuckled. “I went to your wedding, but maybe my age is showing.”
I grew nauseous with shame. Even here. Our place. Our escape. We could not escape the wrong we had committed. We could not escape the ever present cloud of our loyalties.
“I, uh, I'm going to go wait in the truck,” I said with a thin smile.
I felt Bobby's concerned stare, but I didn't look back as the bells on the door signaled my exit.
Bobby came to the truck with two bags full of the essentials we had bought. My aura had grown tense and silent. What exactly were we doing here? Was this an affair? Would we go back home and pretend this never happened? Or was this the start of something more frightening—the thing I had longed for for seven painful years?
I ripped through the tense silence. “I should head home.”
“What about breakfast?”
“I forgot Rory might call and he'll be concerned if we don't answer.” It was a half-truth. Rory wouldn't panic for a few days. I often missed his calls while running errands, but it sounded like a good enough excuse.
“Is this because of what Mr. Cooper said in there? He was just an old man making small talk.”
“You think he doesn't know, Bobby? He watched us grow up. He saw us kissing. He was at the wedding.”
“So what?”
“So … I just—I have to go back there no matter what. I am married to Rory. We are legally bound. You can just walk away whenever you want. The stakes are higher for me.”
“You'd think I'd leave you behind?”
“You did before, didn't you?”
He sighed, arching his neck up. “Lil, it's different now. And yes, on paper you may be more bound to Rory, but he's my brother. He's my blood. He's the only immediate family I have left. The stakes are pretty high for me, too.”
I looked out the window to the general store, where I had already felt the shunning of an adulteress, whether or not it was intentional. Bobby and I would have to go far, far away if we ever wanted a normal life. We would have to leave behind everything we knew. No one would accept us. Not my family or his. So much had changed in the last few years, but not this dilemma.
“If I could press a button and stop loving you, I would,” Bobby proclaimed.
Faced with the imaginary prospect of not loving Bobby, I went from needing to run back home, to wanting to stand my ground and defend my feelings for Bobby. “I wouldn't.”
“Then I would do it for you. You would be so much happier if you didn't.”
I looked out the window and shook my head in protest.
“Listen, Lil,” Bobby placed his hand on my lap. “I was thinking this morning. I wanted to use the next couple of weeks to fix the place up. Do the things Rory has been too busy to do. And I wanted you to stay out here with me.”
“But he's gonna call home.”
“There's a pay phone right there. I can call his hotel, tell him the plans, tell him you'll be traveling up here to help most days. Because you will be helping.” He grinned.
“You're signing me up for hard labor?” I joked.
“You're pretty strong, Lil. I need someone to carry the lumber for me.”
The doubt and fear was melting away with the warmth of Bobby's smile. The prospect was too tempting: Me and Bobby, alone for two weeks. No need to sneak or pretend. A literal fantasy come to life.
“We could have at least some time together, Lil. Our time.”
“And then what? What happens in two weeks?”
“The future will be here. We'll figure it out then.” That was Bobby, he never looked ahead with fear. “Let's just live in these two weeks. Let's pretend when we got out of that attic everyone had gone and left the place to us. This time is a gift.”
I pondered his argument for a second, though I already knew what my heart had decided. “I don't have any clothes with me. Just this dress.”
“You won't need much to wear back at the house,” he smirked mischievously. “Besides, I am sure there's stuff in the closets.”
“What about the Fourth of July cookout we were supposed to plan?”
“We can do some of it from here. Why don't you call Barbie and ask for some help?”
I looked up at him, unable to contain the smile that the demons of guilt tried to steal. “Should you call him, or should I?”
Seven years earlier
The women in the bridal suite giggled and laughed. Happiness was all around me, but it was not inside of me. Their sweet sounds were like the cackling of hens, and my head throbbed, an unrelenting thud that continued to persist and only became worse as the wedding hour came closer.
“Lilly? Lilly?” My mother's voice was as faint as if I were drowning underwater. I rubbed my temples as I looked up. In the mirror was a girl who looked innocent and sweet, with apricot cheeks and blush pink lips, her long hair pinned up into a collection of swirls. But that girl was no longer innocent. She had lost that the night before when she truly realized that adulthood meant duty over desire. Loyalty over love. Her innocence was left on the bloodied nightgown stuffed at the bottom of the trash. “Honey, when do you want to put on the dress?” There was an hour left before I had to be by the lake, waiting to be walked down the aisle by my father. I was sick of being poked and prodded. I just needed to think. I needed silence. The thudding grew louder and harder.