I laugh. “You have no idea.” I rub my hands down my face. “Once you’ve cleaned up, can we eat jelly?”
“No. When I’m done, we eat chicken cacciatore.”
“Oooh, sounds fancy.”
“Not really.”
“After we eat, do you think you can do me a favour?” I ask, as if cooking me a fancy dinner isn’t already pushing my luck.
He tilts his head to the side. “What’s that?” he asks.
“Watch Ferris Bueller with me? It’s definitely a Ferris kind of night.”
He winks, and it’s as if I’m looking at this man with new eyes. “Yeah. I think I can handle that.” He steps around the chaos on the floor and rinses out a dishcloth in the kitchen sink.
Rocco is slowly showing me that he’s the opposite of what I once thought of him. He can be kind … caring, and—
“Come on. Hurry up, Suds. I need you chopping onions,” he teases.
And he still has the energy to be bossy.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
ROCCO
Friday
I pick up the house phone before the call rings out. “Yeah,” I say, hoping it is in fact him on the end of the line.
“Took your time answering, Roc,” he says, his voice quiet.
“Vinnie. Brother.” Relief spills through my blood. Just hearing his voice is a comfort. I walk into my room and shut the door. “You good?”
“I’m alive I s’pose.”
“You haven’t had any more trouble?” I dare to ask.
“I got busted up a bit yesterday.” He pauses, and I can hear his laboured breath.
“Shit, you okay?”
“They split my lip, and I’ve got a black eye.”
My jaw ticks as I clench my teeth. I’ll go fucking bananas if they’ve violated him again. “Did they … touch you?” I ask slowly, my voice gruff with emotion.
“No, but I have some news, and I’m pretty sure I have you to thank, even though I’m pissed you did it.”
“What news?”
“They’re moving me into protection tomorrow.”
My shoulders drop as the heavy load slides from my shoulders. “Well thank fuck for that,” I grunt out.
“Anyway, enough of this shit. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
I don’t even baulk at what I’m about to tell him. “I went to an AA meeting.”
“You did? Fuck, that’s awesome.” The pride in his tone has me all of a sudden crippled under a wave of emotion. My voice chokes in my throat as a lone tear rolls down my face.
“We tipped it all down the sink. I have to shake this fuckin’ problem, otherwise I’m no good to anyone. I’m no good to you.” I take in a deep breath and picture him smiling on the other end of the line. “I’ve gotta make some fuckin’ changes, brother. I can’t let my life or yours be overshadowed by the path Dad was on. I owe Mamma that.”
“I know, Roc. I have a lot of fucking time to think about shit in here. The longer I’m inside, the more I’m ready for a change. No way I’m ever coming back to a hell hole like this.”
“It’s gonna be a battle with the club. You know this.”
“I know.” He sighs and drags in a deep breath. “Last time we talked you seemed nowhere near doing something about your drinking. What changed your mind?”
A blonde bombshell under my roof.
“A girl … Suds … she’s living with me temporarily.” I hate the sound of that word. Temporarily. She hasn’t lived with me for that long, but that room being empty … waiting for V seems so long ago. I can’t imagine her gone, but I guess that’s the reality of it being temporary. It was only ever gonna be a short-term thing.
“You sleeping with her?”
“It’s not like that …”
“Is she butt ugly?”
I lower my voice for fear of being overheard. “Fuck off. No. She’s a glamour … the whole situation with her is just … different. She’s kind of a lesbian, but not, because she almost married a guy. But we have these moments where I think shit might happen. I don’t know. I don’t understand women.” Fuck, I’m rambling.
“You falling for her?”
Falling for her, as in love her? Fuck, am I?
“Just tell me, Roc. Give me something else to think about. Please.”
“If you must know, I wanna fuck her senseless, but I don’t think that’s what she wants. She’s turned out to be nothing like I thought. She kicks my arse, gives me shit. Can you believe she calls me De Loser?” I chuckle. “She’s the maid of honour in Jones’s wedding, and I thought we’d never get along, but with some of the shit that’s happened in our lives somehow we’ve found some common ground.”
“It’s fuckin’ good to hear you have her, Roc. You need someone like that in your life.”
He’s right. I do. “Yeah. She’s gonna come with me to meetings. It’s not gonna be easy, but it won’t be as hard as doing it alone. I’m a week dry. Can’t fuckin’ believe it.” My body is protesting, but my will is stronger.
“Proud of you,” Vinnie says, his voice hoarse.
“Thanks, V.”
The line goes silent for a moment.
“V?”
“I’m here. The guard just signalled that I’ve got one minute left.”
Shit. It’s never enough time. I could talk to him all day.
“I’ll be crazy travelling with work the next few weeks, so I don’t know when I’ll be able to come in. Then I have to go overseas for the bucks.” Each word cuts me up inside as it leaves my mouth. I shouldn’t be off having fun and jet setting across the world when he’s in there.
“Where’s the bucks?”
“Vegas.”
“You lucky prick.”
“If I wasn’t in the bridal party I wouldn’t be going. I don’t wanna go; I’d rather be here for you, but I can’t be an arsehole and pull the pin. I’ve got few friends, and I can’t fuck Jones over.”
“Just go. If I had the opportunity, I’d pounce. I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
“I’ll take you there, one day. I promise.”
“I want pictures and a full run-down when you get back.”
“As soon as I’m back, I’ll be in.”
“Gotta go, Roc. Love you brother.” Fuck it cuts me up when he says that.
“Ti amo, fratellino,” I say softly.
“Mamma’d be proud you still speak the language.”
“I want her to be proud of more than just that.”
“She’d be so fuckin’ proud you’re getting help. I bet she’s watching over you, smiling.”
There’s a loud voice in the background and the line goes dead.
This is the moment when I’d normally be reaching for the bottle.
Because I love my brother more than I can express to him in words, this time I won’t.
****
“So, you’re really doin’ this, huh? Getting married,” I ask Jones as I fiddle with my cream-coloured tie. I wouldn’t wanna wear this shit every day, fuck no, but I actually don’t mind it. It fits well.
“Yeah, buddy. I am.”
“How’d you know?”
“Know what?’
“That April was the one.”
“Truth or bullshit?” he asks, with his brow furrowed.
“Truth, brother. Tell it to me straight.”
“This might make me sound soft, but I don’t give a shit. I knew she was it for me because she made me fight for her. I was in a shitty place when I met her. I was the fuckin’ manwhore of motocross. April changed me … not by telling me to change. She made me see things differently, you know?”
Fuck me. He might as well be talking about Suds.
“Spencer Jones!” a female voice calls out.
We all turn to watch as the caramel-haired beauty struts farther into the shop, wearing bike boots, tight leather pants, and an open leather jacket with a loose charcoal grey tank underneath. A helmet is tucked under one arm. It’s like every man’s wet dream just walked through the door. And Jones happens to be engaged to her.