“Um, uh…uh…”
I clear my throat and try again, but the words just don’t come out. Ally has stolen my breath and reduced me to a pathetic, stuttering mess. There’s nothing left to say—nothing I trust myself tosay.
So I do the only thing I possibly can right now that won’t jeopardize everything I thought I truly wanted.
I turn and walk away.
I HAVE TO fuck her.
It’s the only way. The only thing that will clear my head and get me back to where I need to be. So yeah…I’m going to fuck her. It’s what she wants anyway, and it’s what I need, that’s for damn sure. I’ll enjoy it; she’ll love it. And once my balls aren’t as heavy as my conscience, I’ll move on and finish the job I was hired to do. Simple as that.
My finger hovers over the Call icon, hesitation crawling all over my body like mites. Just do it, you pussy. You know you want to.
I do want to. Badly.But not for the reasons I should.
I have to fuck her. I haveto.
Fuck it.
My thumb just barely grazes the phone icon, and the line begins to ring. Her voice greets me moments later, sounding both surprised and delighted. “Justice?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so glad you called.”
She knows what this is. Erin has been waiting for this moment for years. She could see it in me when she was last here – the desperation, the confusion. The guilt. She knew it would only be a matter of time before I came crawling back, craving her pretty, pink pussy and those perfect, perky tits. And what man wouldn’t?
“How glad are you?” I ask, my tone low and husky. Unlike Jewel and Candi, Erin needs to be stroked and nurtured first. In all honesty, I could have just called them up, but I was craving something else…something more intimate. Plus, that twosome is about as shrewd as I am when it comes to reading body language. They would see how I was deflecting from a mile away. They already had.
A pleased, erotic sound rumbles in Erin’s throat. “So glad, Justice. I wish I was there so you could reach between my thighs and feel how glad I am.”
That should’ve at least piqued my interest. Maybe even a little tingle down below. But nope. Nothing.
“Do you want to be here?” That’s right. I’ll play the game. A little cat and mouse will get my blood pumping.
“What do you think?” She plays her part flawlessly.
I’m just about to tell her to pack a bag and head to the airport where a first class ticket will be waiting for her, when a banging sound rattles my skull. Has Jiminy Cricket gotten off his green ass and decided to finally do his job? Or has that tiny devil cooked up an even better plan to sate our licentious needs?
Listen to my delusional ass. I really need to get out more.
The banging echoes through the space again, before I finally realize that it’s not just a figment of my imagination. It’s the door.
I make my way to the nearest curtain where I peek out, my cell still attached to my ear. I instantly regret it the second my eyes fall on her, so shiny and bright and alive.
I don’t want shiny and bright and alive. I want dark, devious and shameful. That’s what people like me deserve.
“Uh, hello?Justice?” Erin calls out from the receiver. I ignore her and go to open the front door much quicker than what is deemed acceptable for a man like myself.
Who am I kidding? I busted a Usain Bolt, then damn near hurtled over an end table, only to nearly break off the door handle.
“Hey!” Ally smiles.
Ally smiles.It’s like a song lyric, or an ancient proverb.
“Hey,” I exhale out of relief, as if I hadn’t breathed easily without her presence. I hate how my body just knows her. How it reacts so differently to her than anyone else. It gives her power over me, something no one has ever relinquished since the day I extricated myself from her world.
“Can I come in?”
“Hello? Hellooooo?”Oh shit. Erin.
“Let me call you back,” I murmur into the phone. Ally raises a speculative brow.
“What?” Erin snaps loudly. “Who is that? Who’s over there?”
“Maybe I should come back,” Ally whispers over Erin’s annoying screeching. I shake my head at her and hold up a finger as she tries to back away. Then I turn around so I can handle Erin properly.
“Who I have at my home is none of your concern,” I say into the receiver, my voice so cold that frost damn near settles on the touchscreen. “Do you understand me? You are an employee, and nothing else. But the next time you even think to open your mouth to question me, you won’t even be that.” I press End to keep from losing my shit and scaring Ally, ensuring that she’ll never return. I turn back to her slowly, hoping—praying—that she’s still there.
“Wow,” she says, her eyes wide and sparked with amusement. “Look at you, boss man, cracking the whip. Ouch.”
“Cracking the whip?” I smirk, stepping aside so she can enter. I stroke her cheek with a single finger just as she brushes past. “You wish you were so lucky.”
“Mr. Drake, are you flirting with me?” she asks, spinning to face me with a hand on her hip.
I close the front door and lean back on it, crossing my arms in front of me. “I don’t know. Depends on what you’re here for.” I grin, feeling the icy discomfort of just seconds ago melt away.
Reluctance shadows Ally’s face and she looks down at the ground. “It’s embarrassing. Which is stupid, seeing as I’ve already drooled on you, and you probably heard me snore. By the way, we’ll just forget that ever happened, capiche?”
I push off from the door to stand directly in front of her and cup her cheeks in my hand, stalling her self-deprecating rambling. She’s so soft, and I feel her face heat in my palms. It’s like holding fire. “What can I do for you, Ally?”
She looks at me with wonder in those too-big eyes, and her lips part, causing my gaze to study the movement. This could be it. This could be the moment I confess my sins and kiss this beautiful angel. I could taste heaven for the very first time.
Do it. Look at her—she’s begging you to.
Kissing Ally would be so easy. Touching her, holding her, tasting her… it’d be like breathing.
I want to breathe. I want to inhale her in every way possible. I want her life to sustain me, her heartbeat to synchronize with mine.
But I don’t want to taint her. I don’t want her to be like me. A cheater. A deviant. An outcast. She deserves better, and I’m not better. Not better than what she already has, which is Evan.
She doesn’t want me. She has him.
The realization is like being dumped in a tub of ice water, and I step away from her, removing my hands from the curve of her cheeks. Ally blinks rapidly as if she’s been sleepwalking, and knots her hands in front of her.
“So, um, yeah. I need your help.”
I run my hand through my short-cropped hair just to give myself something to do. Then I go to the kitchen to get a drink for my suddenly dry mouth. I grab a kettle for tea. Nah. That won’t do the trick. Juice? Water?
Wine. When in doubt, always go with wine. I hold up the bottle and she nods, so I grab two glasses, filling them with rich, velvety liquid. Ally meets me halfway to take hers.
“So like I was saying…” she begins before taking a large gulp. “I need help.”
“I gathered that. Care to tell me with what? Because I’m pretty sure I could make a short list of things you need help with. Professional help.”
“Hey now!” she shrieks with mock offense. “It took a lot of practice to be this magnificently awkward. Dude, I was awkward before awkward was cool. I’m a pioneer for the movement.”