I blinked hard, biting hot tears. They walked to the door, her ahead of him. When they were inside, I could no longer look. I knew what was about to happen. Izzy didn’t call her his girl toy for no reason. She only came over when he was in need… when he was desperate to get off.
My head shook hard, and unfortunately, the tears fell. If he didn’t think he was hurting me, he was wrong. He was killing me, and being here in Primrose was making me spiral and lose myself all over again.
I felt just like I did right before I left.
Like scum, a piece of gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Worthless. Pointless. In the way.
Switching the lamp off, I slipped beneath my blanket. I fell asleep, and luckily, I couldn’t remember my dreams. I just slept, but when I awoke, my head was pounding. I checked my alarm clock. 12:18 PM.
“Ughhh.” I groaned, sitting up. My head pounded even more. I’d slept a little too long. Climbing out of bed, I went to the bathroom to freshen up and then put on a pair of shorts and a tank top.
After informing Margie that I was going for an afternoon run, I was out of the door with my earphones plugged in my ears. I ran around Primrose twice and then entered the park, the park that held so many memories.
As I neared the fountain, I helplessly looked to my right and spotted the line of trees Theo had taken me through once before. I knew that patch of grass was still there, the daises and sunflowers.
I picked up my pace, running faster, zooming through the park and hitting the track. I ran it five times, until I became too tired and too out of breath. Bending forward, my palms on my thighs, I inhaled much needed oxygen, trying desperately to rid myself of all memories of him. It was impossible. They’d been seared into the core of my brain. They were permanent. There was no getting rid of him.
The sun beamed down on me, heating my skin even more and making sweat spill down my face. Footsteps sounded behind me after several seconds had passed. Glancing over my shoulder, I spotted him running in my direction. I was sure he couldn’t see me. I was standing by the fence, out of his line of sight.
I should have stayed bent over, perhaps then, he wouldn’t have seen me, but I stood up straight, watching him come nearer, and his eyes moved to the right, face going stiff. I couldn’t believe he still ran this track every day. I thought he’d killed that habit a long time ago, but it explained how he was still in great shape.
Sweat glistened on his forehead, beads spilling down his defined chest and over his eight abs. He slowed his pace, meeting my eyes. We stared at each other, me confused and him remorseful. Lips parted, he began to speak—explain himself—but I quickly turned, dashing off and regaining all the energy I’d lost only moments ago.
“Chloe!” he yelled after me.
I ignored him, continuing my run to the gap in the fence. When I made it through, I hit the trail and jogged without looking back. Heavy steps crushed the gravel behind me, and I gasped, finally peering over my shoulder, spotting Theo getting closer.
I picked up my pace, but I was no match for him, the man that used to play soccer when he was in high school. The man in such fine, sculpted shape. That man, period. His hand wrapped around my wrist when he made it by my side, spinning me in his direction.
I instantly protested, struggling to yank away. “Theo! I’m done! Why can’t you just leave me alone!?”
His eyes glistened, full of an unexplainable ache. Nostrils flared, he watched as I clawed and scratched at his hand, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “You don’t feel bad about this?” he asked angrily, brows furrowed
“About what!?”
“About this! This, Chloe!”
My fighting came to a cease, confusion taking anger’s place. Then, I realized what he meant. As he stepped forward, brought a hand to my waist, and tugged me in, I figured it all out. This, as in the foundation we lived on. The reason we’d met in the first place.
The guilt.
The shame.
The bad.
The good that felt so horribly wrong.
He watched me with intense brown eyes. My bottom lip trembled, and when he noticed, he reached up, pressing the pad of his forefinger on the center of my mouth to stop it. Then, before I knew it, his face inched forward, and his mouth found mine. A groan rumbled deep in his throat as his lips collided with mine.
My body reacted way differently than it should have. Instead of fighting—instead of protesting and shoving him away—I sank into his arms, and he picked me up. My legs hooked around his waist, hands cupping his smooth cheek. The scruff on his unshaven face rubbed across the smoothness of my palms, his damp lips consuming me. He stumbled into the shade. My back bumped against a tree, but his mouth didn’t dare pull away from mine.
His cock grinded between my legs, his arousal making me crave every solid inch of him all over again. I moaned, my mind begging me to tell him to stop but my body refusing, falling deep into this lust. Into his clutches.
In that moment, I felt like we couldn’t be stopped, like years of avoidance and disregard had finally caught up to us—like life was telling us we would never forget about each other. But then, in just the same amount of time, I remembered last night and the pain I felt when I saw him walk into that house with the girl.
“Stop, Theo.” I shoved his face away.
His head traveled down, lips pressing on the crook of my neck. “I don’t know what it is about this fucking park,” he growled. “Maybe it’s the way the sunlight bounces off your skin when you run through the trail.” His head lifted, gaze matching mine. “Or maybe it’s because when it comes to this place, we aren’t restrained. And no one can see. No one cares. It’s our place…” His finger came to my chin, tilting it up. His lips then landed on my cheek, and he kissed me tenderly, blinking slowly before his eyes dropped. He then placed my feet on the ground, running his fingers through his damp, raven hair.
I felt like I’d been ripped right away from him. I wanted him to stop, to listen, but I didn’t want him away from me. I moved forward, placing my hand on his chest. “Why didn’t you text me?” I whispered. He struggled with words, eyes avoiding mine. I caught his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “Why?”
“You know why, Chloe.”
“You thought of Izzy?”
“I thought of you.”
I frowned. “No. You didn’t think of me.”
Confusion made his face warp.
“If you had thought about me, we wouldn’t be here. You would have known that I was actually looking forward to that text—a location. A place to meet.”
“I can’t fucking hurt you, Chloe. Don’t you understand that the only thing that comes out of this is pain? Someone will get hurt in the end…”
“Don’t you think I know that? Yes, it’s a risk—”
“A risk we shouldn’t even try to take.”
I sighed, mildly agitated. “If we don’t, we’ll keep ending up like this—in this fucking park, fighting hard not to touch each other.” His lips pressed, but I continued. “If we don’t do anything about it, every time we see each other, it will result in a situation like this.”
He looked down. “Fucking you in the park…”
“You touching me,” I added.
“Unable to fight my feelings…”
“Me craving every single part of you… never forgetting what we did.”
Theo stepped forward, looking down at me, jaw locked. His smoldering brown eyes bolted with mine. With slow, cautious action, he lifted his arm, bringing his hand to my face. He cupped my cheek, and his head lifted as he studied my face, breath bated.
My breath caught as well, the air between us impenetrable. The air surrounding us was hot and thick, weighing us down. Holding us in this moment. Using the pad of his thumb, he stroked my cheek, pressing his forehead to mine.