It used to be fun to be with Carter, doing things like going to openings and getting my picture taken. But lately he’s been so weird. He doesn’t like to go out, he’s been talking about Emme just a little too much (it’s always about her, isn’t it?), and he’s even cutting down on his hours on the soap opera. If I wanted to date a normal high school boy, I’d go out with some guy back in Brooklyn who’d be dying to be seen with me on his arm.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” Carter puts his muscular arm around me.
I lean into him. Carter’s a good guy and sometimes I can’t believe he’s my boyfriend. I dream big, but he’s so much more than I thought I would get. It’s not just his looks or his fame (although those help). I’m just thankful he isn’t that emotional a person; I’ve got too many of those people in my life as is. Plus, we look really good together. I figure once I get my record contract, he’ll come to some of my gigs, get me some press attention (mental note: talk to his mom about hiring a new publicist ASAP), then we’ll break up right before my album release, which the tabloids would love: “Single Sophie Stays Strong.”
I can practically see the cover now.
So I’ll go to some stupid art opening. It’s the least I can do.
After all, today has otherwise been a very, very good day.
You’d think that a school based on the study of performance and art would have better lighting.
After we eat and I change back into my normal school clothes for the day (thankfully, I wore a very cute fitted navy dress, just in case I didn’t have time to change into my outfit for the audition), Carter and I walk into the large art studio that’s hosting the exhibit. It’s mostly filled with the art students … and, of course, Emme and her entourage: Ethan, Ben, Jack, and Chloe. At least I know someone here.
Emme comes up to us, with Ethan following obediently behind her. “Hey, guys!” She gives us both hugs while Ethan just stands there.
“Sophie, you were wonderful at the audition today.” Emme is beaming.
Ethan decides to ruin this nice moment by speaking. “Yes, it’s remarkable how well you were able to pick up on my song. It’s almost like, I don’t know, you’d heard it before.”
Emme’s eyes grow wide.
Carter looks between Ethan and me. “What’s this?”
I wish Ethan didn’t hate me so much. He really is one of the most talented songwriters in school. It would be nice to have him on my side. I know he could write some truly amazing songs for me.
I turn to Carter. “Part of the audition was sight-reading, which always makes me so nervous. I was sick to my stomach over it. But when I found out it was a song by Ethan, I got so excited because I’ve always wanted to sing one of his songs. And it was so beautiful, it practically sang itself. I don’t think anybody could do a bad job singing it.”
Ethan’s reaction doesn’t change. But Emme eats it up. “Exactly! You did such a good job and it is one of my favorite songs by Ethan. We’re going to record it this weekend for his Juilliard pre-audition.”
“Impressive.” Carter’s attention moves back to the group after he scans the paintings on the wall. “You have to pre-audition?”
“Yeah,” Emme says, “you have to send in a tape, and that factors into whether or not you get asked to audition.”
“Yikes!” Carter makes a face. It isn’t very attractive.
“I know, and to add insult to injury, the Juilliard audition is two weeks after the showcase, so it will not be a fun winter. That is, if we get into the showcase and are asked to audition.”
“Are you two auditioning together?” Carter gestures at Emme and Ethan.
Emme shakes her head. “No, we’re playing on each other’s audition tapes. But the band will be auditioning for the showcase … if we’re asked.”
“There’s no way you guys aren’t going to be in the showcase. No way.”
I wish Carter showed that much enthusiasm about me being in the showcase.
Emme smiles at Carter. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of them, but I don’t like it one bit. Emme has had a few dates, but the band keeps her too busy to have a serious boyfriend. Not that it isn’t obvious to everybody that Ethan worships her. Well, obvious to everybody but Emme.
“Hey, Carter.” Emme nudges him. “Let’s go say hi to Trevor!” She grabs him by the elbow and leads him off.
Ethan just stares at me.
“What?”
“I know you pressured Emme into playing the song for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I’ll admit I asked her about it, but Emme plays by the rules too much to do something ‘illegal’ like give me an advantage.” Emme’s naïve belief in playing fair guarantees that she will not make it in the music business. If she thinks CPA is cutthroat, wait until she gets to the real world. No one, not even Ethan, can protect her then.
“No, she wouldn’t do that … without being manipulated.”
“Honestly, Ethan, think what you want. I’m telling you the truth.”
He scowls at me. “Please. You are not that good an actress.” He walks away and heads over to the rest of his groupies.
Let me think; I was able to get holier-than-thou Emme to basically cheat to give me the leg up, promise me that I can record a demo that I can send out, and get her to write a song for the Senior Showcase … because we are BFFs. Not to mention that I’ve got the most famous student at CPA as my boyfriend.
I think that makes me an excellent actress.
Opening night.
For the past six weeks I’ve been pulling eighteen-hour days: Wake up at six, exercise, eat, go to school, study for two hours, and then rehearse my role as Desirée in A Little Night Music.
My parents and Emme worry that skipping college and going right into the “grind” will be too much for me. But I’ve proven that I can not only handle long and grueling days, but thrive. This is what I want to do. I love the busy days, rehearsing, performing. I understand that being worn out is part of this business. I know exactly what it’ll take to be a star. And I’m not afraid to go for it.
I step out on the stage and feel the warmth of the spotlight.
There is no question that this is where I belong. Every eyeball is on me.
Lead role in a major CPA production.
Check!
Now all I need is to land the lead spot in the showcase and it will all be mine.
Emme
Sophie is amazing. She gets a well-deserved standing ovation every night.
I look over to see her being congratulated at the after-party of our final performance. She’s beaming, as she should be.
“Here you go.” Ethan hands me some punch. “To getting it over with.”
We clink our glasses together. With our musical requirement out of the way, we can concentrate on our final project.
“I’m sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that we mailed our applications.”
Ethan and I went together to mail our pre-audition applications and CDs before tonight’s show. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to do it if he hadn’t been with me, practically pulling the envelope out of my hand.
“Your songs are incredible. You sounded incredible.”
“Don’t remind me.” I have a hard time listening to me sing. The first take we did of my vocals was awful. But I got used to singing; it helped that Ethan was being so supportive. Although he is the only person I’ve allowed to hear me sing. Well, Ethan and the admissions staff at Juilliard. “What did you make me do?”