Gabby digested Kelsey’s words silently and, sighing, dropped onto the opposite end of the couch from her. “You’re right. You’re totally right. It’s excellent advice. I just don’t know if I can take it.”
“Well, I know how that feels too. Keep doing what you’re doing, I guess.”
Unfortunately, that was even more unthinkable.
Kelsey laughed merrily when Gabby announced at eight o’clock that she was going to bed. “Your energy will come back in the second trimester,” she called as Gabby shuffled out of the living room and into her bedroom.
That was it. Kelsey was paying her back for all the unwanted medical advice she’d doled out over the past two years. Admittedly, she was bad about doing that. But then Gabby was the one Kelsey had called in a panic when little Alex spiked a fever in the middle of the night last winter, so it wasn’t as if she didn’t appreciate her.
Two months pregnant and already she couldn’t wait for this to be over. It was going to be a very long thirty-two weeks.
Crawling into bed after slipping into an oversized T-shirt, she expected to be snoring as soon as her head hit the pillow. No such luck. Instead, she tossed and turned and worried. She thought about that cute little blonde she’d seen sniffing around Dermamania, slipping Ian what was obviously her phone number. Was that his game? The whole cool, hard-to-get thing to hook them into the chase before he moved in for the kill?
She snatched her phone from her nightstand and sent him a text. What are you up to?
I’m at the bar, was the almost instant reply.
The bar? Really? Huh. Be careful you don’t take some other girl home and knock her up too.
WTF?
She was in the middle of typing a reply when her phone rang. It was him, of course. She accepted the call without any kind of greeting. Given the silence in the background, he must’ve stepped outside.
“Are you there?” he asked after a few seconds. Gabby couldn’t contain her visceral reaction to his deep voice in her ear. Her entire body went boneless, and her heart skipped a beat.
“Yeah.”
“What the hell are you pissed at me for? I came by to grab a beer. Nothing more.”
She knew she was being a bitch. She simply could not get that picture out of her head. Was this what she’d be reduced to? Watching the baby at home every night while he went out to grab a beer and collect phone numbers and come-ons? “You don’t make a habit of fucking your clients, do you? Or strange girls you take home from the bar?”
“What the— No, Gabby, I do not. I’m no saint, but I haven’t been with anyone since I moved here except you. Where is this coming from?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. Apparently, insanity is another pregnancy symptom. I kept thinking about that girl making a pass at you when I came in to tell you about the baby, and… I’m sorry.”
“I don’t give a shit about any other girls.”
“Glad to hear it.” She chuckled sadly.
“Are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m in Florida, actually.”
There was a long silence during which she heard some raucous conversation going on in the background—probably some bar patrons leaving for the night. “What in the hell are you doing in Florida?”
“Parents’ condo. A girls’ weekend thing. I’ll be back in a couple of days.”
“Gabby…you’re fuckin’ worrying me, you know?”
For some reason, hearing that from him of all people, made something inside her snap. “Well, stop fucking worrying! I’m pregnant. Millions of women have gotten pregnant without losing their minds. I’m sure I’ll be one of them. The odds are in my favor.”
“You know, I’m starting to get the feeling you texted me just to start shit with me.”
“I texted you, Ian, because I miss you.” And with that admission, she almost wanted to slap her hand over her mouth. She would have if the action could possibly cram those foolish words back in.
“Then what did you run off to Florida for?”
“To see if I missed you. Maybe. That wasn’t really the reason, but it’s been a good experiment.”
“Who are you with?”
“My sister-in-law.”
“Does she know?”
“Yes. She’s the only person I’ve told.”
“I miss you too, baby.”
Her breath left her in a rush. Sweetness rushed through her veins, and all that mushy crap she’d never thought she would ever care about feeling. Clinical. That was how she liked her life to be. She liked everything neat and tidy and in a nice little box. Ian Rhodes had come into her life, torn open the box and strewn the contents around the room. She couldn’t even begin to pick them up and put them back where they belonged. They would no longer fit. She’d outgrown the box. “You haven’t exactly been beating down my door,” she said, her voice small.
“You haven’t exactly acted like you wanted me to.”
She wanted to tell him to beat it down. Beat it with all his might, beat it down until she broke and confessed everything she was trying to keep locked away from him. “I don’t know what to do,” she said at last.
“Day by day,” he reminded her.
“What if days turn into weeks and then into months, and I still don’t know?”
“Then maybe I will.”
Shit, she couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t lie here in the dark with the distant sound of the waves and listen to his voice. The yearning for him was like a physical ache. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
“All right,” he said, a note of dejection in his tone. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Gabby…” She waited for his next words, her entire being on hold during that torturous pause that seemed to be filled with more than words could say right now. Finally, he sighed. “Good night.”
And he was gone. Loneliness crept in. She rolled over and let her hand trail down to her belly as her eyes leaked silent tears onto her pillow. “No matter what, I’ll always have you, huh?” Her little peanut.
Boy or girl? What would she name him or her? Would he have her eyes? Or would she have Ian’s smile? If it was a boy and he looked too much like his father, that would be the worst form of torment…unless she could see his father every day of her life.
Gabby had gone to bed early enough that surely Kelsey would still be awake, but she didn’t want to bother her with more of her emotional, hormonal bullshit. Bad enough that she’d bothered Ian and proven what a psycho she was becoming.
She would lie low for a while. Most likely, even though Kelsey had vowed to tell on her, she’d head back to Dallas before she told her parents or anyone else about her pregnancy. Then she could deal with them from afar. That wasn’t so difficult. Maybe dealing with Ian from afar was the best answer too. After time, the ache would fade. The memory of him wouldn’t be so acute that she sucked in a breath when she recalled his touch.
“Keep doing what you’re doing.”
It was unthinkable, but maybe it was the only answer.
Chapter Fourteen
She didn’t know if coming to that decision could actually be considered progress, but it felt like it. Somewhat. Gabby slept much of the way home as Kelsey drove, compensating for the little sleep she’d gotten the entire time they were at the condo. She’d wanted to offer her own driving services, but she probably would’ve gotten them in an accident.
Many long hours later, Kelsey steered into the Rosses’ driveway, and Gabby sighed at the sight of the ostentatious house coming into view. Kelsey apparently found meaning in that sound as she braked in the circular drive and killed the engine. “You have to tell them. Soon.”