She reaches down to one of her mags and pulls it out. Her gloved fingers grip the hard plastic housing the rounds. The feel also brings a measure of security within her. Turning it over, she eyes the bright rounds set firmly inside. They seem so small to her and the amazed feeling returns; amazed that bullets so small can cause such damage. Returning the mag to her pouch, she thinks, Without this weapon, they would have been run over many times. Or overrun. She is still getting used to the lingo of the soldiers she has become enmeshed with.
She looks at Gonzalez sitting directly across from her and smiles. It appears that Gonzalez is actually napping. Bri knows though that Gonzalez will be instantly alert should anything happen. Even though they are far from home and on a mission to a place they don’t know much about, she feels secure with those around her. The confidence she has been building since this whole thing began has become stronger in the time she has been with Red Team, especially hanging around with Gonzalez.
She knows her dad is nervous about her being out with them and has noticed his worried look whenever she has caught him glancing her way. However, and this amazes her even more, he has allowed her to remain on Red Team and go with them. He has witnessed her in action and perhaps this is why he allows it. Thinking back to the fight in Madigan, she relives what she remembers but most is still a blur. She reacted but really isn’t quite sure what that reaction was. The stories told by the others in Red Team, and in particular Robert and Gonzalez, speak well but, as hard as she tries, she really doesn’t remember anything more than a series of snapshot images. At least it did answer a question that worried her endlessly and that was how she would react. She was so worried that she would freeze and therefore let down the team and her dad.
The increase in Robert’s confidence has also rubbed off on her. He always had that quiet confidence in himself, but she knows that he is constantly second-guessing himself. That’s a trait he inherited from their dad. And she has also noticed that, like their dad, Robert has pushed that second-guessing to the side and reacts with more and more confidence. She wants to become like that but always has these nagging doubts riding around inside of her as to her ability. Deep down, she knows that time and experience will dampen those down some but it’s getting that experience that makes her nervous. Of course, there was that night out on the top of the aircraft. There wasn’t any fear that time, but she also knew that there was little chance the night runners could get to her.
She has watched and absorbed every bit of knowledge she can, immersing herself in the training. Bri knows that she is like her dad in that you never know what will be helpful down the road, so she continues to soak up everything she can. Her dad has brought her with him when dealing with others in order that she might gain experience by watching. She had been allowed to sit in on the group meetings for the same reason. Sifting through her limited knowledge base continually, she runs scenario after scenario in her mind just as her dad instructed her to. She is eager to learn and can’t seem to get enough training. To her, the runs and team training in the mornings seem to end far too quickly. Her fear remains that she’ll let the others down. She knows in her heart that she can handle herself well but also knows that the feeling is based on a very limited amount of experience.
Her thoughts drift from image to image as she relives moments from the past. Memories from her cheerleading days and the events she attended flash through her mind. She recalls times with her school friends, chuckling silently at some; but with those, a sadness forms that she won’t see them again. The recollections make her realize just how far she has come in the last few months and how different she is now — the changes in her priorities and how she thinks. Changes that are continuing to evolve.
She thinks about the first day when her dad came to get her and the sadness that enveloped her whole mind, body, and soul, thinking that she had lost her mom. And the overwhelming joy at finding her again, even in such a dismal place as they were. With that, an image of Nic surfaces. It’s not so much an image but a feeling. She feels a hole in her heart and again feels the tearing pain that she felt on the day Nic died. Distress comes that she can’t remember a perfect image of Nic’s face. She doesn’t want to forget what Nic looked like even though she knows she’ll never forget her spirit. She misses Nic so much. The hurt she feels every time she remembers hasn’t eased with time like the saying goes. The only thing that has changed is Bri’s resolve to keep Nic’s memory alive and to avenge her whenever she has the chance. A perfect image of Nic’s smile does come, and with it, tears well in Bri’s eyes.
She is thrown to the side as the Stryker lurches to a stop with a squeal of brakes.
Robert rocks from side to side as the Stryker rolls across the bumpy road. The M-4 held between his legs and the movement is barely noticed as he is locked in his own thoughts. The world before, the one where he went to his classes and hung out with his friends, seems like the dreamlike one rather than the strange one he finds himself in now. He’s become used to the way things are, although even that seems to be changing.
They haven’t had to fight night runners, at least as far as in darkened buildings in a while. The times he’s been in firefights within those buildings were tension-filled ones and he’d rather not have to do that again. Although, he has to admit to himself that, after the fact, there was kind of a rush. No, the times are now about engagements with marauders and others like them. Truth be told, he’d rather face the night runners.
No, strike that, he thinks, remembering several terrifying moments. That’s not true at all.
He’s not as nervous about being in those types of situations, although there is still plenty of fear. His confidence has grown from being around the others with more experience and he’s proud to be a member of Red Team. Each and every one of them carries an aura of self-assuredness. It’s like a cloak they all wear when together. Just being around them inspires confidence.
Part of his feeling more confident comes from his dad letting up on him a little. He understands the why of it but is thankful nonetheless — as he is thankful for the extra training both he and Bri have had with him. He knows his dad includes both of them in their briefings and dealings with other groups so that they’ll learn from the interaction. He doesn’t agree with everything his dad says or does though, and would have done some things differently.
For instance, he thinks, he wouldn’t be as trusting of the group they ran into at the bridge. There are surely some in that group that harbor grudges over what happened. He would not just merrily have accepted them into their group.
Sometimes dad is just a little too trusting, he thinks as they bounce over another bump in the road. Not often, but sometimes.
He looks around at the others crammed in the tight compartment. Bri is examining one of her mags and the others are lost in their own thoughts. Gonzalez, sitting next to him, appears to be sleeping. He smiles and wishes he could do that. He returns to the thoughts circling in his head.
Thoughts of being captured and finding his mom float to the surface — the joy of seeing her when Bri pointed her out at the lunch tables. He is curious as to how she changed back as he is quite sure that she was the night runner who had trapped them in the basement. That’s another thing he disagrees with his dad about. Well, disagree isn’t the right word but more of a different priority. How did she change back? He knows they don’t have a lab or any physicist to look at that but, as far as he knows, they haven’t even talked about it. It’s not like he wants to use his mom as a guinea pig, but surely an answer lies there somewhere. He thinks that they should explore the research labs in the University of Washington. Seattle isn’t the best place to go with their limited numbers, but perhaps they could find something there that would be helpful.