Charlie and I spent a little time with our doctor because she wanted to run some tests on us. We shrugged and gave a vial of blood each, not thinking about it, or questioning her motives. I figured she’d tell us in time.
Summer was getting closer and more and more I was finding myself looking up the river, wondering about things that had no answer. On one such occasion, I was holding Jake, rocking him gently in the evening breeze. His little head rested on my shoulder, while his feet occasionally kicked at the SIG on my hip. I kept my eyes on the north and began to formulate an idea which refused to let go. It was one of those things that stayed with me. No matter what I was doing, during any down time my mind went back to it.
I whispered to Jake and he smiled sleepily, his little hand hooking into the collar of my shirt. I felt a ghost of a touch on my shoulder, and turned to see Sarah at my side. Jake saw her and reached out with a hand, wanting to go over to her.
“Hey, big boy,” Sarah said quietly, rocking Jake and putting his head on her shoulder. In her arms, Jake looked twice as big, even though he was still tiny. He was roughly fifteen months old, give or take, and was walking around and getting himself into all kinds of trouble. I didn’t mind any of it, I was just glad to have him with me.
“How’s the school coming along?” I asked, curious as to its progress. Sarah and three other women were getting the school in shape for classes. We had several teachers and they were willing to pick up where they had left off after the Upheaval. We had enough children to actually have a couple of classes, although the children’s ages varied widely, it wouldn’t be anything different from turn of the century schools. Being a former administrator, I had been asked to head the school, but I declined. That was something I did before, not something I did now. Besides, it was my opinion that the best teachers did their best work when they were allowed to be creative and have few administrative restrictions.
“It’s fine,” Sarah said, settling Jake on her hip. He played with her hair, which looked lighter in the waning sun, then leaned his head into her neck and shoulder. “We’ve finished the classrooms and the teachers have the textbooks, getting themselves familiar with the lessons and what they want to teach. Nate says he wants to run P.E.”
I thought about that for a second and let out a short laugh. “Sweet Jesus, those kids will learn a new language as well as physical education.”
Sarah smiled. “Nate thinks it would be good for the kids to be trained to defend themselves, like we train everyone else.”
I thought about it for a second, then nodded. “In ancient times, the Spartans did not bother with any walls or fortifications, relying instead on the strength of their people to be the wall. I can see his point. Let’s do it.”
Sarah looked at me funny. “I used to teach world history before I became an administrator,” I said to her.
“Can I ask a question?” Sarah said after a while. Jake was falling asleep, his little hands curling his hair and his eyelids were struggling to remain open.
“Sure. Anything.”
“When are you leaving?”
I smiled. “Is it that obvious?”
Sarah didn’t return the smile. “I’ve known you for a while and when you get that faraway look in your eyes, you’re thinking about heading out to some other place, looking for God knows what.”
I couldn’t deny it, I was thinking about another trip, and this time I was heading into the mouth of the monster. I decided to be candid. “I need to know what happened to my brother. The last time I spoke with him it was a year ago. I would like to try to find out what happened, if anything.”
Sarah contemplated in silence, then her eyes got wide and she shook her head. “No!” she whispered, since Jake was asleep. “You can’t go there! You know it’s suicide!” A tear began to form in her eye. “You can’t, please don’t.”
I took Jake from her and put him to bed, covering him with his blanket, watching him for a moment. I went back outside where Sarah was sitting on the porch, watching the river as tears fell down her face. I pulled her to her feet and held her close. She held me tight, burying her face in my chest.
“Please tell me you’re not going.” She said.
“I have to. For a few reasons, not the least of which is my brother. I need to see what’s left and I need to see if there are any survivors. Duncan cleared the road on this side of the river and the only thing we have on the other side is our farms. We don’t know anything else. Lastly, I will not send anyone else on this mission. I can’t and you know it.” I kissed her on the top of her head and she raised her face to mine. “You couldn’t be with a man like that, could you?”
Sarah stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. “If you were anyone else, I probably would have killed you by now.”
I smiled. “That’s my girl.”
In the morning, I called a meeting with the council, a group of people elected by the populace to voice their concerns and to keep people informed as to the goings on. I tried to have a meeting once every two weeks, but sometimes things needed to be discussed earlier.
Nate was there, as was Charlie and Tommy, and various others representing parts of the community. Trevor was there and so were Rebecca, Dot, and Sarah. I headed the council and gave the general direction of the agenda, but I had passed over my full leadership role for a more democratic one. Except in times of emergency, then I was the sole authority. That was something Nate put in there, since he realized that a council cold not effectively make timely decisions when needed. Besides, Nate told me, nobody else was stupid enough to take the job.
We met in the town’s old community center, the newer one having been burnt down by yours truly. It was a nice old brick building that once had been a high school. We gathered in the conference room and I got things under way.
“I know we weren’t supposed to meet for a couple of days, but I am going to be heading out and I wanted to make sure everyone knew the where’s and why’s.”
Charlie looked at me with a knowing eye and Tommy just rolled his. Nate shifted his chair and I was sure he was curious.
“Things have been going pretty well here. We’ve established communication and trade with the towns on the rail line, except for Joslin, and we have taken a number of steps to ensure our long-term survival. What I am going to do is both for the community and for myself.” I paused, keeping the attention of everyone in the room.
I took a deep breath and let loose the bomb. “I’m going to the city.”
Everyone tried to speak at once and I managed to hear tidbits here and there. Words like ‘suicide’ and ‘dumbass’ assailed my ears, as well as ‘crazy’ and ‘stupid’. I had thought this out and didn’t really believe it was going to be too bad. Of course, that’s what I thought about Coal City and nearly got chewed in that one.
When the commotion died down, I raised my hand for silence. Nate was glaring at me and Charlie was sitting with his arms crossed. Tommy was shaking his head and Trevor was eyeing me funny.
“Look, I know it sounds crazy, considering there are likely millions of zombies in the city. But I’m not asking anyone else to go, not asking anyone to risk themselves in what may be a wild goose chase. But lately I have been getting the feeling my brother is still alive and I need to try to do something about that. I am not abandoning the community, nor am I asking anyone to understand why I need to do this. But I need to be able to look myself in the eye and believe I tried my best to see what happened to him and his family.” There were understanding nods. “Besides, it’s been over a year since the Upheaval and things may not be as bad as we believe regarding the city. We just don’t know.”