Oh, there was a caretaker, by the way—I forgot to put that in. His name was Wilf, he looked exactly like the Pillsbury Doughboy in weird rubber overalls and hip boots, and he wandered up from the cellar the first morning we were there, totally and permanently hungover. He had a shuffly, wincing style of walking, as though his head were made of glass, just about to roll off his shoulders and shatter into a million bits. He was supposed to be there just for a couple of weeks, to show Evan where things were around the house and the farm, but he hung on after that, and you couldn’t ever quite get rid of him. Evan fired him once or twice a week, but he didn’t pay any attention.
Evan and Sally worked like crazy people. Evan got rid of the wood stove as soon as he could find someone to haul it away, and we actually did sort of live on pizza and takeout from Sherborne until the Lovells—the family who own Stourhead Farm—put in a new electric range. Which meant replacing all the wiring in the whole Arctic Circle, but they never hassled Evan about that. Besides the electricity, they paid to have the plumbing redone—so between one thing and another the house was a total ruin for months, with tools and torn-out boards all over everywhere, and nests of wires hanging out of the walls, and the men Evan hired to help him tramping around growling at each other, scattering pipe ashes on the floors and taking tea breaks every ten minutes. They mostly had ponytails and big thick yellow mustaches, and I never could tell them apart.
They also quit a lot. Most of the time it was over ordinary stuff like the pay or the hours or the tea breaks, but not always. One guy quit because his tools kept disappearing on him, and I think he tried to sue the Lovells about it. And there was one who just didn’t show up for work one morning, and he never did come back for his tools. Later on, he wrote Evan and Sally a letter, trying to explain, but it was mixed up and misspelled, and full of ramblings about sad voices, and music he couldn’t hear, and about “puddles of cold air,” and something like invisible fur brushing his neck all the time. There were a couple of others who talked about the voices and the cold air, too, and a man who said he kept smelling vanilla the whole time he was rewiring the Arctic Circle, and it made him so nervous he had to stop. Evan said most of them drank, and just kept hiring new ones.
Tony said, “Maybe we really do have a boggart,” but he said it out of range of Julian’s feet. The two of them are going to hate this, because it makes them seem as though they were fighting all the time, but back then they were. Julian was always the person who started hitting and kicking and crying, but Tony usually had it coming, one way or the other. That’s the way I remember it, anyhow.
“Well, it just might be,” Evan said. The weirder the question, the more seriously he answers it; that’s another way Evan is. “There’s certainly something playing tricks in the kitchen lately, and if it isn’t you two—”
“It’s not, it’s not!” Julian rumbled, and Tony said quickly, “Well, I just took a couple of the chocolate biscuits, but I didn’t knock all those bottles down—”
“And I didn’t, didn’t, didn’t draw those pictures in the flour!” Julian was shaking his head so hard it actually made me dizzy to look at him. “And I didn’t throw the eggs around, and I didn’t make the horrible mess under the sink, and the fridge wasn’t my fault—”
Evan sighed. “I wish I could blame that on a boggart.” We’d already had two different refrigerators put in by then, and neither one could keep stuff cold for more than a day. There wasn’t a thing wrong with them—each time all the food went bad, Evan had an old man come down from Salisbury, but all he could ever figure was that the electricity was screwed up some way. Which didn’t make any sense, with the new wiring; but the last time he came, the Salisbury man rubbed a finger alongside his nose and closed one eye (I’d read about people doing that, but I’d never actually seen it), and told Evan, “There’s some houses, ones that was here before the electric, they don’t like the electric. They’ll be fighting it, squeezing at it, trying to choke it off all the time. It’s fighting the electric, this house, that’s what’s happening.” Evan called somebody else the next time, but it didn’t make much difference.
Me, I was flat out hoping for a dozen boggarts, and fifty pookas, and a whole herd of Hedley Kows, and all those other creatures Evan had told us about on the drive down. Anything that would make it absolutely impossible for us to stay on at Stourhead, anything that would force us at least back to London, even if we couldn’t go home to New York—was for it all the way, no matter how messy or how scary. Anyway, I was for it until the thing that happened in my bathroom.
Sally used to tell me that the English air would do wonders for my skin and, besides, my skin wasn’t nearly as horrible as I thought it was. All I knew was I’d been sprouting torrid new English zits from Heathrow on, and I was developing a hunchy slouch, the way tall girls get, from sneaking past mirrors. Except one, the mirror in my bathroom, where every night and every morning I’d face off with my face one more time. I try any damn thing anybody said might work—all kinds of ointments and soaps and masks, stuff that made my skin tight and flaky, stuff that smelled like rotten eggs, other stuff that was supposed to soothe your skin, only when it dried on you it hurt… I don’t like talking about that time. It was years ago, but it comes right back.
Anyway. I was leaning in close to the mirror, doing exactly what Sally always said not to do, which was squeezing a thing on my forehead which was forever boiling up in the exact same place. (Meena says that it was probably my third eye trying to get me to pay attention, but what it looked like was a zit about the size of an M&M. A bright red one.) Once I got it open, I was going to clean it out with alcohol, and I didn’t care if it burned. I hoped it would burn—then maybe the damn thing would get the idea and leave me alone. And then I heard the voices.
Not words, mind you. I didn’t hear real words, just two voices, one of them squeaky as a Munchkin, the other one a bit deeper, definitely slower—still shrill, mind you, but with an explaining sort of tone, like Tony whispering to Julian about what was happening in a movie. He was really patient with Julian that way, even in those days when he was calling him a boggart.
I swung around, but I couldn’t see anything. It was a small bathroom, no shower even, and no hiding place except in the shadows behind the old lion-foot tub. That’s where the voices were coming from.
I took just a step toward the tub, and I said, “Who are you?” And if that sounds brave or anything, you can hang that notion up right now. I wasn’t afraid of anyone who spoke in tiny squeaks and could hide behind a bathtub. What I was afraid of was that if I wasn’t really careful I was going to start understanding them, because I was almost making words out already. And that was the last thing I wanted, to understand squeaky voices behind the tub.