Still, the incident had rattled me. I felt blurry at the edges, as if I was starting to blend in with my surroundings, evolving a Juliana camouflage. It was for the best, I supposed; it would make my job a lot easier. But I didn’t want to morph into somebody else; I liked who I was. And, of course, the only way I could get back to my real life was to pretend I wasn’t me. The irony of the whole thing was sickening, but I had to believe that I was and always would be Sasha Lawson, that nothing could erase that.
Gloria burst in at eight with Louisa, Rochelle, and a breakfast cart, attendant attached, trailing in her wake. Gloria was impeccably dressed as always, but there was an air of harried frenzy surrounding her that I hadn’t experienced before. Seeing Gloria agitated made me instantly alert. I’d forgotten how important this day was to everyone at the Castle.
“Come on, come on, Your Highness, we have a lot to do today,” Gloria said. “Jump in the shower, and don’t take too long!”
It was fruitless arguing with Gloria, so I didn’t bother to try, but being bossed around like this was starting to get on my nerves. How Juliana could stand it was far beyond me. I was glad I wasn’t going to have to deal with it forever.
“Finally,” Gloria breathed when I stepped out of the bathroom, hair wet. I sat down and the attendant rolled the breakfast cart within reach. Louisa ran a comb through my hair, separating it into sections for easy drying and curling. As I ate, Gloria yelled her morning briefing over the sound of the hair dryer, until it became obvious to all parties that something had to come first—the briefing or the drying.
“First up is your visit to the king,” Gloria informed me once my hair was finished. “I knew you wouldn’t want to interrupt your daily visit to your father for anything, even Prince Callum, so I made room for it.”
“Thanks, Gloria,” I said, glancing at Louisa and Rochelle. They hardly spoke, and it was easy to forget they were there. The most dangerous moments were those in which I was in the presence of both people who knew my true identity and people who didn’t. It was one thing for me to be myself, and quite another to be Juliana, but being both at once was proving to be a challenge.
Gloria moved on. “The prince arrives at three o’clock with his Farnham escort. They’ll be taking him through the front gates to the main entrance, after which the escort will leave and the KES agents the General has assigned to the prince will take over his protection. You and Her Majesty will meet him at the grand staircase, you’ll exchange some pleasantries and he will be escorted to his quarters. He’ll have his own security briefing, then dinner. Once that’s over, you’ll have some time alone to get to know each other better.”
“Romantic,” I said sarcastically, dabbing at the corners of my mouth with a napkin. Rochelle snorted. Clearly not everyone was quite so disapproving of Juliana’s antics. My chest tightened at the prospect of having to make conversation with Prince Callum. Get to know him better? I didn’t know him at all, and I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to him.
“Watch the attitude,” Gloria warned, giving me a stern look. “Okay, Louisa, try not to make her look like a French poodle. Juliana, your outfit is on the bed; finish breakfast before getting dressed. Thomas will walk you to the king’s suite at ten, then you’ll be back here at eleven. You’ll have from eleven to twelve to yourself, then another dress fitting from twelve to one. Hopefully we can squeeze in a quick lunch for you and then you’ll meet Her Majesty in her study to go over last-minute changes to the guest list and finalize the floral arrangements. That should take you all the way up to Prince Callum’s arrival. The day is tightly packed, so no dawdling and absolutely no wandering off.”
“All right, all right,” I said, waving her off with a bored little yawn. “Busy day, packed schedule, I get it.”
Once I got into it, pretending to be Juliana could be fun. I was starting to see what Thomas had meant when he said you just felt it, sometimes, what your analog would do, when you were living their life. It was coming easier now. I wondered if that had anything to do with the visions of Juliana I’d been seeing in my dreams. I’d had another one last night, but, like always, I couldn’t remember much, which made me nuts. If only I could figure out something, remember some pertinent detail about what was happening to her, maybe I could use it as leverage with the General, or at the very least, with Thomas. But there was nothing. Only lightning-quick impressions, small bits of imagery, remained from the dreams. I wasn’t going to stop trying, but the visions were starting to feel useless, and I was getting discouraged.
“Good. Thomas will be here soon. Oh, and Juliana?”
“Yes?” I said.
She pointed at the dresser, where I’d abandoned Juliana’s diamond the night before. “Don’t forget to wear the ring.”
I wasn’t stupid; I knew I wouldn’t be able to escape or avoid Thomas. He was my captor and my protector, and like it or not, I was stuck with him. But I didn’t have to talk to him. It was one thing for him to pose as Grant to get me to Aurora—sure, it was screwed up and wrong, but at least it had a point. Telling me his parents were dead when they weren’t, and hiding from me the fact that the General was his actual father, alive and well, was more than wrong—it was sick.
It took Thomas a while to notice I was giving him the cold shoulder. In fact, if I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought he wasn’t speaking to me. He was entirely wrapped up in his own thoughts and barely even seemed to notice I was there. We walked the whole way in silence, me fuming, him totally zoned out.
There was no way around it: the king scared me. I hated his suite, with the paraphernalia of illness that crowded his bed and the choking medicinal smell of hospital that filled the room, but it was the king himself that unsettled me most. The nonsense he’d spouted the day before and the aggressive way in which he’d grabbed my wrist had frightened me more than it probably should have. He’s a harmless, bedridden old man, I reminded myself. But that didn’t keep my stomach from sinking when we approached the door to the king’s bedroom.
The king appeared to be asleep when we entered the room; at least, his hand wasn’t kneading the air in its endless pattern. Not knowing what else to do, I started The Odyssey from where I’d left off the day before, while Thomas hovered near the door, still in his own little world. I glanced up every once in a while as I read, my gaze leaping from the king, who remained motionless in slumber, to Thomas, but only when he wasn’t looking at me.
“Okay,” he said finally. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or are you going to make me guess?”
I didn’t answer him, keeping my eyes trained on the page. He sighed and crossed the room, pulling a chair over from up against the wall and sitting down.
“Come on, Sasha, let’s hear it,” he pressed. “I won’t stop asking until you tell me, so you might as well quit giving me the silent treatment and say what you need to say.”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to use my real name,” I pointed out, still refusing to look at him. He put his hand on mine and used it to close the book. My breath caught in my throat. He’d touched me before, out of necessity, mostly, but something about the way he wrapped his fingers around mine felt … intimate. I jerked away, wanting no part of it. I hated him. He was a liar and a coward and … and … he had the most expressive green eyes I’d ever seen. I closed mine to keep from looking into his. What is going on with you? I asked myself savagely. It’s just Thomas, for God’s sake!