He laughed. “As it happens, I don’t.” As I passed him, he caught my hand in his.
“In a few days this will all be over,” he reassured me. I stared at his hands. His fingers were long and thin, the better to play the piano with, but his nails were short and uneven—he had a nail-biting habit. “Then we can do whatever we want. We’ll be free.”
“You’re quite an optimist,” I said with a smile. It was refreshing to be around someone so hopeful, even when I knew he was wrong.
“Can’t help it.” He spread his hands in a helpless gesture. “That’s how I was born.”
I wanted to share his faith in the future, but mine was waiting for me elsewhere, in a different world far from this one. Assuming, of course, that I was lucky enough to find my way back to it.
I emerged from the queen’s study two and a half hours later, my brain liquefied by the experience of listening to the queen, Gloria, and half a dozen other wedding planners argue over outstanding details of a wedding I wouldn’t even be there to experience. Not so long from now, I would be back in Hyde Park, far away from all this madness.
Except … I couldn’t keep from imagining what it would be like when I returned. It had been several days since anyone had last seen me; there would certainly be questions, questions I couldn’t answer. They would think I was insane if I’d told them where I’d gone; the only person who might believe me was Granddad, but even that wasn’t guaranteed. There was also the question of Grant: could I really go home before they managed to send him back as well? The thought of leaving him to fend for himself in Aurora twisted me up into guilty knots. Much as I wanted to go back, there was no possibility of returning to my old life; Earth wouldn’t be the sanctuary I desperately yearned for. And I wouldn’t be the same person I was when I left.
Did I even want to leave? Of course I do, I thought. Why would I ever want to stay in Aurora? But I knew there would be things that I missed. After all the time we’d spent together, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that I might never see Thomas again. He’d woven his way into the fabric of my life, of who I was, and the thought of separating from him struck me hard. That’s just because you can’t live here without him, I told myself. Once you’re home, you won’t need him anymore. But no matter how logical it sounded, that didn’t seem quite like the truth.
Where was Thomas? Normally he stationed himself right outside the door of any room I was in, but as I emerged from the queen’s study I didn’t see him anywhere. I waited for a few moments, thinking he may just have gone off briefly and would soon return, but when that didn’t happen I decided to make my way back to Juliana’s bedroom myself. My visions of Juliana had taught me the layout of the Castle well, and I felt confident that I could navigate it just fine.
I’d just rounded the corner when I saw Thomas at the other end of the corridor, deep in conversation with a young man I’d never met before. He was tall, but not as tall as Thomas, lean but slight compared to Thomas’s broad shoulders and muscular physique, with brown hair that had outgrown its short, cropped cut and needed to be trimmed. He was dressed in a black suit, like Thomas, which told me that he was KES, but that was all I could gather from so far away.
“What are you doing here, Lucas?” Thomas was struggling to keep his voice low, but the acoustics in the hallway were such that I could still hear them from where I was standing. So this was Thomas’s brother, Lucas, the actual biological spawn of the General and Alice Mayhew. Naturally, I was very interested in this conversation.
“I’m here to see Juliana,” Lucas said. The casualness of Lucas calling Juliana by her first name made me wonder just how well he knew her; I’d learned at dinner my first night that the General and the king had been friends most of their lives, so it was possible—even probable—that their children might be acquainted. Thomas had told me in passing that he’d met her a few times in the two years between his adoption and being shipped off to Blackbriar, but Lucas, being the General’s biological son, would’ve had much more time in which to get to know her.
“Princess Juliana,” Thomas reminded him sharply. Lucas rolled his eyes. “We’re not kids anymore. And she’s busy. Since when do you have clearance to just wander around the Castle like this? Aren’t you supposed to keep to the Tower like a good little support agent?”
I wasn’t really sure what all that meant, but I could tell from Thomas’s tone that he was wound up and possibly baiting his brother. Lucas didn’t rise to it, and I remembered that he was four years older. Maybe this was their relationship dynamic—Thomas, the younger, always acting defensive, and Lucas, the elder, looking for ways to defuse him. It didn’t match up with what I already knew about Thomas’s personality and character, but I was well aware of how certain people could bring out a different side of you.
“Then the General didn’t tell you,” Lucas said. I found it telling that even the General’s natural born son didn’t call him “Dad,” or even “Father.” “I’ve been promoted.”
“To active?” Thomas’s eyes widened in surprise, fiddling with his KES ring.
“Not yet. But maybe soon. The General said he might be able to arrange for me to take my trials in October.” Thomas’s jaw tightened; this information wasn’t sitting well with him.
“Don’t be jealous,” Lucas teased. “There’s plenty of action out there for the two of us. If you ever find a way to get yourself reassigned, that is.”
“You assume I want to be reassigned. Maybe I like where I am.”
“Oh, come off it, T, you’re a glorified babysitter. You didn’t blow through the Academy just to end up holding the princess’s train while she traipses around the Castle, did you?”
Thomas shook his head, not in denial but in irritation. “What do you need her for?”
“I just wanted to say a quick hello,” Lucas told him. “And congratulate her on her upcoming wedding. Is that so horrible? You’re acting like you think I’ve got ulterior motives.”
“I’ll give her your message, okay? Just go back to the Tower and do your job, whatever that is.”
“Are you angry with me, little brother?” Lucas asked. “If this is about Mom, I’m sorry I interfered, but I really think—”
“Don’t start with that again,” Thomas warned him.
I’d heard enough of this. I wasn’t just going to hide around the corner and wait for them to come to blows over their personal issues. I stood at the head of the corridor and cleared my throat. They both looked up; Thomas tensed, but Lucas smiled as he turned to look at me and I got my first glimpse of his face.
“The truth is, Juli,” I heard him say, “the Monad isn’t even sure you have anything to tell us.”
I shut my eyes tight as things I had seen in earlier visions elbowed their way back into my mind. The underground bunker where Libertas had been holding Juliana, the wide fabric bracelet with the gold star tetractys the girl had been wearing on her wrist, and then Lucas’s face, peering at me smugly, his features illuminated by the harsh light of the overhead fluorescents. Him.
Oh my God, I thought in disbelief. Lucas is Janus.
“Your Highness,” Thomas said. “Agent Mayhew was just leaving.” He put a slight emphasis on Agent Mayhew, as if he was trying to inform me that Lucas was his brother.