I'm not quite sure when, but somewhere along the line, both of us fell asleep with her lying on top of me. When we started to get up so that we could pull the rest of the covers down and properly go to bed, we discovered that our pubic hair had gotten somewhat glued together by our mixed secretions. Saleh found it amusing and embarrassing, by turns, as we carefully got ourselves pried apart. Both of us passed on the idea of a shower, deciding instead that it could wait until morning – that we much preferred spooning as we went back to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I was lying on my other side, with Saleh neatly tucked against my back and her arm draped across my body. With the opposing needs of thirst and a full bladder, I started to ease myself away from her, only to hear "No, you don't have to go."
"I'm sorry, but I do – but only for a moment. I'll be right back."
When I got back to the bed, I let her guide me to the position I'd been in, so that she could snuggle up against me again. When she put her arm around me, I took her hand and lifted it to my lips so that I could kiss her palm. After I released her hand, I could hear the love in her voice when she told me "Jim, you are such a dear, dear man" before putting her hand on my chest.
I don't know how long we lay there like that, content to simply be with each other. Still, both of us knew that the end of our time together was approaching, and I finally heard Saleh start to speak.
"Dearest Jim, I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me. Not just in helping me get away from that horrible person that I was married to, but for everything else, too – keeping me company in that coffeeshop, really listening to me while I told you about everything that I've have to live through, and all that happened between us last night. First you held and comforted me when I started crying with relief that I was finally free, and then you gave me my dreams back by showing me that I didn't have to be afraid that I couldn't love or know pleasure and happiness again. You were patient and gentle with me, and you gave me great comfort. We talked about affection, but I think that both of us know that what we feel is love, because that is what we made with each other. You gave me more of yourself and your love than I thought one person could, and you have made me feel whole again because of it. I know that what we have had is a special thing, and not something that we can have forever. But I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts, and in my heart; and that what you have given me and done for me will let me live the life that you said I deserve. I know that you were right when you said that my life will change, and why. I know that I will find the man that I want to spend my life with, and you should know that I will be happy with him because of what I have gotten from you. I will feel the loss when we must go our own ways, just as I know you will; I beg you, please, to take comfort in knowing that I will live my dreams because of our time together."
Following that, I heard her say something lengthy in Arabic; when she was done, I asked "What did you say?"
"I said that you are a good man – kind and wise and patient and loving, and asked whoever is in charge of the universe to watch out for you; that the people down here needed you."
I was so touched by what she'd done that I simply couldn't think of anything to say; the best I could manage in response was to kiss the palm of her hand again before simply telling her "Thank you, Saleh. It means a lot to me that you would do that."
Several minutes later, I told her "If I could, I would stay with you like this all day; but I think that you want to go and see your family. If you want to take a shower with me, we can get some breakfast and find out when your train home leaves, and I'll get you to the station. Or, if it would be easier for you, I can just leave now."
She hugged me before answering "No, Jim, I don't want you to leave yet. I would be delighted to take a shower with you."
A few moments went by before we both got out of bed by mutual accord. Thinking that she might want a little time alone in the bathroom, I suggested she go ahead after saying there was something I had to do. When I knocked on the bathroom door a few minutes later, she let me know that it was okay to come in.
Our shower was as fun and playful as the one we'd shared the night before, if also bittersweet. After we'd dried off, she wasn't the least bit bashful about letting me watch as she got dressed; when she was done, and asked me how she looked, she was tolerant and amused when I took her into my arms and kissed her while caressing as much of her as I could reach before announcing that she looked wonderful.
Breakfast was her treat at her insistence; after we'd eaten, she used the pay phone to find out when the next train was that would get her home before calling her family and letting them know when she'd arrive. The departure time wasn't for another hour, so we stayed in the cafe and had another cup of coffee before heading for the station.
Once she had her ticket and checked her bags in, the two of us moved to a quiet area off to the side to say our goodbyes. I could see tears in her eyes as she told me "I know how lucky I was that we got into your cab yesterday. Because of you, I don't have to be afraid any more – of being beaten, or abused, or any of the other horrible things that happened to me before. I can't thank you enough, and I know that I could never repay you for all the good things that you'd done for me."
Looking into her beautiful eyes, I told her "If I have done good things for you, then it is because you deserved them, just for being who you are. If I have made your life happier, then you have made my life richer for having known you. You said that I will always be in your heart and in your mind; know that you will be in MINE, too. What we have felt for each other is love, and I will carry my love for you with me forever. I will never forget you, and whenever I think of you, it will be with the love that we have known. You go home now to your family, and that is right. You will find the man that you can share your life with, and be happy, and that is right, too; it will comfort me greatly to know that these things will happen. When my time has ended, and my spirit goes to see whoever is in charge of the universe, I will be able to tell him 'I have been loved by Saleh', and that will be all I need."
By the time I finished, she was openly crying; cupping her face in my hands, I used my thumbs to brush away her tears before leaning in to give her a soft, loving kiss on the lips – one that she readily returned. When we pulled apart, I saw that she was trying, valiantly, to smile. As much as it hurt me to, I told her "Goodbye, Saleh" and turned to leave. I heard her say goodbye in return, but I didn't turn around to look at her as I continued on my way out of the station.
I never saw, or heard from, Saleh again. But to this day, I can close my eyes and see her, and the love I felt for her comes flowing into me. I do take consolation in knowing that she has undoubtedly gone on to live a life that is much better than the one she had – but that doesn't really do anything about the hole she left in my heart.
Chapter 11
I've been a cabbie for a number of years, and have certainly had my share of experiences. Some of them happened as a direct result of my driving a hack; others not so much…
One of the things about driving cabs is that there isn't a lot of exercise involved. I mean, think about it – when I'm doing what I'm paid to do, I basically just sit on my ass all day.
One of consequences of driving a cab is that if you do it for very long, you run the risk of putting on weight; there are a few guys that just don't give a shit, and that's pretty much what they look like – big, blubbery, overweight lumps sitting behind the wheel. There are a few that are genetically blessed with metabolisms that keep them thin; me, I don't have that benefit, so I decided that I'd better do something to keep myself more-or-less in shape. I also figured that it wouldn't hurt to learn how to defend myself at least a little bit, so I signed up to start taking karate from a place that was just a couple of doors down from the extended-hours gym I signed up with. I wasn't specifically looking to take karate; if it had been any other kind of self-defense place like judo or boxing, I'd likely have still ended up there.