Both of us stood up, and after she'd given me a kiss on the cheek, she took my iced tea glass and headed for the kitchen while I made for the bedroom.
Once the door was closed behind me, it didn't take me long to get undressed and into bed. I'd been a little tense that day, so the relief of knowing that Jill would be going home the next day made it pretty easy to fall asleep.
I woke up to the feel of a small female body pressed against my back and a soft, cool hand wrapped around my erect penis.
I can only plead the fact that I had been sound asleep for how long it took me to connect the presence of a female in my bed to Jill.
Once I'd made that connection, though, significantly less time passed before I'd exclaimed "Shit!" and rolled myself as far away from her as I could.
That accomplished, I demanded "Jesus jumping Roosevelt Christ! Why the hell are you in here, and what the crap do you think you're doing?!"
I could hear the humor in Jill's voice as she asked "Don't you know you're not supposed to take the Lords name in vain? And that cursing is a sin?"
"Yes, to both. Now answer the questions!"
Patiently, she told me "I'm in here is because I wanted to do something extra special for you, and maybe learn more from you than I already have."
"I already told you, you don't have to do anything 'extra special' for me – particularly nothing physical, and not at your age. And what makes you think I've got anything to 'teach' you?"
I heard her make a sound of derision before she said "I know, I'm 'jailbait': an underage female. But if the cops and everybody are so damn worried about that, why the hell aren't there more places to help when something happens like it did with me? I realized today that as much as I loved them, that didn't change the fact that my folks are a couple of religious nuts, and that I was right to get away from them. But once I left, where was everybody – all the folks that are supposedly so concerned for my welfare, I mean? Whatever else happened, I still don't turn sixteen until next month: if I'm too young or stupid or inexperienced to know what I can or should do with my body, where the hell are the people to protect me? And if there isn't anyone to protect me, who the hell do they think they are to tell me what I can or can't do if they aren't going to? You said it yourself: it'd take several weeks to get me any help at my age. Even I have to figure that if my age was really that important, I wouldn't have to stay on the street that long", getting more and more worked up as she talked.
She took a breath, and was noticeably calmer when she told me "Today, while I was waiting for you to get back, I had a look at all those books you've got. I've never seen that many in one person's home, before!" My library was five shelves high and over twelve feet long – and overflowing; I didn't doubt that it was a novelty for her.
Hesitantly, she said "While I was looking, I… I found one that… that you'd been writing in. And I read it."
"That's okay, Jill. If I was worried about people reading it, I'd put it someplace more private. Go on."
"Well, like I said, I read it. There was a lot of it I didn't understand. Truth be told, I didn't understand most of what you wrote. But the parts I did understand, they made sense to me – I mean, I knew what you were saying, and understood why you were saying it. And I thought about it some, and figured you were right, what you wrote. Then I realized that I'd learned something, and right after that, I figured that I could learn more from you, too, if I wanted."
She released a soft laugh and continued "I don't mean I learned anything like we do in school, either – like in history or grammar or any of those things. It was like I learned something about real life, and how I want to live, and that kind of thing. I got an idea of what kind of person you are, and what you try to be like. I spent almost all day, reading what I could of that book, and thinking about the things you wrote in it. And I decided that there were things that I don't know about, and want to learn – from YOU."
Afraid that I already knew the answer, I still had to ask "What things? And why just from me?"
"Things like being with other people. Not just talking with them and working, and suchlike, but being friends, and even… closer. And just you because you're the only person I know of that has actually took the time to figure out the who and what and why of what's important to you – including people. You've got to understand that while I was growin' up, all I ever learned from about stuff like that was the Bible, and goin' to church with my folks. 'Cept what was taught in the Bible never really made a lot of sense to me. I mean, it says things like turning the other cheek – but all I ever saw happen from that was the other cheek just got hit, too. Shucks, anybody with any sense can tell you that a bully'll keep at it until you stand up to 'em, but the Bible, it don't say nothin' about standing up that way – unless it's for God or Jesus, of course. And I used to hear that God gave us the choice to worship him, or not – but would send us to Hell to burn forever if we didn't. What kind of choice is that? I was told that God gave us 'free will' – and then saddled us with 'urges' and 'desires', and tempted us on purpose. That always sounded like us humans, we was playing a rigged game, with God just setting us up to fail. Kinda like having crooked dice at the Kiwanis Casino Night – not that I ever got to go to one" she finished, with a laugh.
She took another breath, and went on "Anyway, the Bible and church and such, it never made much sense to me. I learned what was expected of me, and tried to do what they said I was supposed to as best I could. But I was never really happy about it, and couldn't understand how folks could be. Sure, trying to do good and all that, that was fine; it was the idea that I was being punished for doing something wrong when I couldn't see how or what – that I couldn't get hold of. I reckon that's why I was willing to do the things I did with Todd: I was happy with him, and what we did with each other, it felt pretty good. So when I read what you wrote down in that book of yours… well, I realized that you had a way of thinking that I wanted to hear."
Both of us were silent with our own thoughts for some time before I finally asked her "Okay, maybe there's something about how I think that I can explain to you. But why are you naked and in my bed, instead of us sitting down in the living room or in the kitchen?"
"Because some of what I understood in your book was about being with people – being… physical with them, I mean. I ain't looking to give myself to you; my virginity, I mean. If any guy I know gets me that way, it'd be Todd. But from what I figure, there's plenty you can still teach me without that happening. And I expect that once I learn that much from you, it wouldn't be that much more for me and Todd – or whoever my husband is, if it isn't him. Me and Todd, we've touched each other some – but not as much as Momma and Daddy thought, never mind all the other they thought we did. And what we've done… well, it hasn't been much, and it's been in the dark 'cause even with me not believing everything they said, Momma and Daddy and the church folks and such still made me ashamed to do anything any other way."
"You say you're ashamed to do anything except in the dark, and even the touching you and Todd have done hasn't been much. So what in the world are you doing in here stark naked and touching me?"
I could hear the shame and embarrassment in her voice when she answered "I'm not saying I wasn't scared about coming in here – I was. But I figured if I didn't come in here, I'd never have the nerve to ask you about this stuff otherwise; and I decided if I was going to be getting into your bed with you, I wasn't going to do it halfway. So I got naked and opened the door – took me three tries to get nerve up, but I did it – and got into bed with you. As for the other, I figured touching your… parts would wake you up." She released a soft laugh before telling me "I didn't figure on how you'd react before that, or what you'd do when it happened."