I reached up and ran my fingers along the hem of the sash. “I don’t know what I am, Ness.”
“Can we talk, please?”
I stared at her, not saying anything. When she left my house our senior year, we’d never spoken again. We’d never had closure. Now she was staring me in the eyes, wanting to talk, and for what? I’d thought about this moment so many times, wondered what I’d say, what I’d do. But now that the moment had arrived, I realized I had nothing to say. None of it mattered anymore. I just wanted to go home and be with Andi.
“PJ…”
“Nothing to talk about, Ness.” I knew what I wanted. What I needed—who I needed. And she wasn’t anywhere in this nightclub. “I gotta go. My girl’s waiting for me.” I smiled a genuine smile. “I really am happy for you, Vanessa. Congratulations.”
I turned toward Nick to give him a head nod, letting him know I was out. I was going home. Fuck the closure. She’d killed us and whatever future we may have had when she’d had the abortion. End of story. We didn’t need to talk. I’d moved on—finally. I didn’t need women, tequila or a pocket full of cash anymore.
I only needed Andi.
I was on autopilot as I pulled into the garage and killed the engine. I didn’t have a plan. My heart was pounding. My throat was tightening. My eyes were stinging, and if Andi walked out because she got the wrong idea, I was going to lose my fucking mind.
I took a deep breath, got out of the Jeep and walked into the house. Andi was laying on the couch watching TV. “Hey. You are home early.”
I didn’t say anything. I still wasn’t sure what I was going to say. I felt as though I was hiding the situation from her, but I just couldn’t come out and tell her. I reached my hand out to her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Come with me.”
She looked down at my hand and then took it. “Are you okay?”
“Just … I need you.”
“Okay.”
She took my hand and I led her to my room and then the en-suite bathroom. I smelled of smoke, sweat, and I wanted her naked.
“Paul …” she uttered.
“Please,” I begged, turning her so her back was against the wood bathroom door. She looked up at me, her beautiful amber colored eyes staring back, questioning me. “We can go slow. No sex. I just want to feel your body against mine.”
She finally nodded and I stripped her of her shirt, followed by mine, then took her mouth. She whimpered, her back pressed against the door, my body aching to be inside her. When I lifted my head, I realized she was wearing a bra.
“Rhinestones?” I smiled.
She bit her lower lip. “Do you like it?”
“You wore this for me?”
“I thought about what you said. About how you used to sleep with clients and since this one was a regular and you—” I silenced her with my mouth. “I’m not sure about sex, though,” she mumbled against my lips.
“That’s okay, gorgeous. We’re gonna go as far as we can.” She nodded and I grabbed the elastic of shorts, looking her in her eyes. “Ready?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
I pulled her shorts down, revealing black lace panties that matched her black lace bra, minus the rhinestones. It was a sight that I would forever have burned in my memory. “Fuck, baby. You’re beautiful.”
She blushed and I kissed her again, this time softer, emphasizing how much I loved her and not just how much I wanted her body. I pulled back, looking into her eyes again. This was the time. This was the time for me to tell her. I had to tell her before sex—or whatever this led to.
“Andi,” I beamed, my hands on her cheeks.
“Yeah?”
“From the moment your smart mouth barged into my house, I fell in love with you. I had no idea that my new roommate would be the woman I wanted to spend every second of every day with, but she was. We both have a shitty past, but I don’t care. I want you in my future. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
A tear trickled down her cheek and I reached up, wiping it away. “I love you, too—”
I didn’t let her finish her speech. I didn’t need it. I just needed the three words. My hands wrapped behind her back, unclasping her bra, then I pulled her into the shower, turning it on as our mouths stayed locked. Freezing water shot out of the shower head, but I barely noticed as my tongue danced with hers. My body was on fire. My hands kneaded her breasts, my fingers pinched her nipples and she moaned, her head tilting back as she broke our kiss.
I adjusted the water and once I got it perfect I realized I still had my jeans and shoes on plus Andi had her panties on. Making quick work, I removed our soaked clothes, tossing them onto the bathroom floor. My dick stood at attention ready to play, my balls ached and my mouth watered—I wanted to devour her in every way possible.
My gaze flicked up to meet hers, but she was looking down at my cock. “Give me your hand.” Her head snapped to look at me. “It’s okay.”
Timidly she reached out and I took it, bringing it to my mouth and placed a kiss on her palm then ran it down my chest, the water from the shower letting it slide easily over each ripple of my abs. Her gaze never left her palm as she watched her hand go lower and lower. Just before we reached my shaft, I looked up to find Andi’s eyes already looking into mine. I could see the apprehension and nervousness she was feeling. After a brief nonverbal exchange, she lowered her gaze back down. I watched her reaction as her hand finally wrapped around the head of my dick. She sucked in a breath, bit her lip and then …
She licked her lips.
I smiled as I worked our hands back and forth over my cock. Once we started moving in one fluid motion, I removed my hand. Without my guidance, her soft hand glided effortlessly with the water and I groaned, my balls growing tight. I wasn’t sure how long I would last with my girl working me.
“Fuck, gorgeous, that feels so good, don’t stop.”
I braced myself with my arm against the tiled wall, enjoying her strokes as she worked the tension from my body. I wanted to give her pleasure in return, but I didn’t want to overwhelm her, so I focused on what she was okay with and that was loving her with my mouth. I kissed her, using my tongue until I couldn’t hold out anymore and I came, jerking until I was spent and could barely stand.
Chapter Seventeen
Andi
I woke to a hand rubbing the inside of my thigh.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
After our shower the night before, we’d gone to sleep. I still didn’t know what happened on his date to cause Paul to come home the way he did and I wasn’t going to ask. When he was ready to tell him, he would—I’d hoped.
Being able to be the one he came home to—to be the one he wanted—to be the one he needed—felt empowering. He told me he loved me, I loved him and wanted to tell him everything.
Everything.
And I almost did, but he silenced me with his mouth and then we did naughty things and before I knew it, he was drained and we were sleeping.
We still hadn’t had sex. However, I was ready. So ready. Especially after seeing his body last night in the shower and the way he gently took control but allowed me to also have control. It was nothing like twelve years ago.
I trusted him.
I trusted him completely.
“Andi,” he whispered into my ear.
“Hmm?” I asked, trying to form a coherent thought.
“I need to tell you more about last night.”
My back stiffened. He rolled onto his back, his hand leaving my thigh and I almost groaned out of protest.
Had he slept with his client then came home and told me he loved me?
“The part about my client went as planned.” He paused for a long time and I wasn’t sure if he was going to continue. I looked over at him and he was staring up at the ceiling, maybe lost in thought.