“Of course I am!” I shouted and stood. Well, stumbled.
“You’re drunk.”
“And you’re an FBI agent. Are you going to arrest me now?”
“Why are you being an asshole?”
I swayed for a few seconds and then sat on the coffee table, unable to stand any longer from the alcohol in my system. “Do you know what happened today?” I snapped, jerking my head up a little too fast. I was referring to the fact I’d killed two men.
She stood. “Do you know what happened today?”
“I learned that you’ve been lying to me this entire time.”
“I only lied to you about my occupation, Paul.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Are you sure about that, gorgeous?”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“I’ve been sitting here for hours questioning everything.”
She sat back down and reach for me, but I slid a few feet from her so she couldn’t touch me. “Why?” she asked.
I chuckled. “You were placed here by the FBI and then you struck up a relationship with me. I’ve replayed everything over and over in my head, but I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.”
“Everything between us was real.”
“Except your name.”
“Yes, except my name.”
I looked directly into her eyes, wanting to know the one hundred percent truth about my next question. “What about your seventeenth birthday?”
“It was all true. What I felt for you and what I told you was true. I fell in love with you. If you can’t grasp that, then I don’t know what else to tell you. I’ve had a long and emotional day.” She stood and so did I.
“You had an emotional day? You caught the guy you were after. I saved your fucking life. And all I got when you walked in the door was a hey.”
“Sex—”
“No!” I wasn’t sure if it was the tequila, my heart, the fact that she’d lied to me or that I had killed two men, but I was angry and I was angry at her and I couldn’t hold my tongue once I started. “Don’t sexy me, Andi, Joselyn, whatever the fuck your name is. I killed two fucking men today and I can’t even talk to my best friend about it. Fuck, I can’t even talk to you about it because you weren’t here. Now I get a fucking hey. Well, fuck your hey. See, this is why I don’t date. Women and their fucking games—”
“What games are you talking about? I’m not playing games!”
“You are with my heart!”
“I’m not playing games with your heart.”
“You pretended to love me.”
“Is that really what you think?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Yes.”
She stared at me for what felt like an eternity, I didn’t know why I said the things coming from my mouth. The more I said them, the more I knew they weren’t true, but I felt like hurting her.
She reached down and grabbed her purse from the coffee table. I watched her wipe tears from her cheek. I didn’t even know I’d made her cry. I wanted to reach out and pull her to me, tell her I was sorry, that I didn’t mean any of it.
But before I could utter anything she spoke as she reached the front door.
“Everything I ever told you, everything I ever felt for you, was real. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved and on my seventeenth birthday my mother not only sold my virginity, but I ran away from home and left my eight year old brother behind. Today the man I arrested was my brother. After everything that happened today, I’m staying undercover because he’s only the middle man. I’ll have the bureau retrieve my stuff in the morning. Take care of yourself, Paul.” Before I could get to her, she was in her car and backing out of the driveway.
And I was too drunk to chase after her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Joselyn
The green light blurred as I stared at it behind my tears. It was as if it was raining and my windshield was covered with raindrops, but it was my eyes. I hadn’t cried so hard since—ever.
The night of my seventeenth birthday I’d cried, but my tears weren’t all at once. And just the other night when I’d almost gotten raped … but it wasn’t nearly as painful. After this, I might as well just throw my heart out the window and run it over with my car.
I was done.
There was no point to living anymore.
Bryce was alive. He was going to help the FBI bring down Tony. My mother was dead, and Paul had just taken my heart and smashed it with the fucking tequila bottle he was currently drowning in, repeatedly slicing it with the shattered glass.
The car honked behind me and I took off. My phone in my purse buzzed. I knew who was calling. Only a handful of people had the number, so I didn’t bother to pick it up. There was no point in answering. I didn’t want to fight with him anymore. I’d said what I needed to say. I was going to a hotel for the night, and in the morning I would let the bureau know I needed a new place to live.
It was better off we ended because we couldn’t work out. I was getting deeper into this investigation. For me, it was all about taking down criminals. For Paul, it was all about the money and having fun. I didn’t think my heart could take knowing Paul went on dates with other women anymore.
I was going to go back to my life where it was nothing but work. That was where I thrived. If I hadn’t mixed business with pleasure, I’d probably have been more prepared on my date with the john who tried to rape me and also the one with Bryce. Paul was clouding my judgment and I needed to focus on the reason I came to Vegas.
But I still loved him …
Fuck, I still loved him.
Maybe after the investigation things would be different. I needed time. Time to do my job.
I drove to the south end of town to get a hotel. I didn’t have any clothes or toiletries, but I’d been in this situation before. Funny thing was, I was dressed like a hooker again.
The next morning I called the secure line and told them I needed a new place to live. For the next two days, I stayed with Leah. I told her that things got weird with my roommate and she didn’t ask many questions. Paul tried calling me a few times, but I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I couldn’t hear his voice because I was certain I would die inside. He texted me a few times, telling me he loved me and to come home, but I didn’t text back.
My stuff was moved into a new house in two days. We worked fast at the FBI apparently and there was always a vacant house in Vegas. By day three I was in my own three bedroom house—lonely and missing Paul like crazy.
The following Monday, I was brought into the local Vegas division for a meeting with Eric and Agent Reigles about where we wanted the case to go. I wasn’t happy about being undercover still. I wanted to go back to D.C. I missed Seth and I couldn’t wait to see him again. It felt like ages since I’d last seen him or even heard his voice.
Knowing that Bryce was the middle man who was going to help us take down Tony was the only thing keeping me strong in this entire shit show.
While I sipped on my coffee, waiting for Eric to show, my cell rang again. It was Paul. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t. This was for the best. One day we’d both move on. I’d go back to D.C. and everything would return to normal.
Normal.
Unhappy, but normal.
“It’s good to see you again.” Eric smiled, walking into the boardroom and bringing me out of my thoughts.
I nodded with a tight smile. “You, too, Eric.” Agent Reigles followed him in and the three of us sat around the wood table with our notepads, sipping coffee. “Good work, by the way.”
I blushed. “Thank you.”
“All right, let’s get down to business. It’s my understanding this Martinez guy wants a plea.” I nodded. “Are we certain we can trust him? Are your leads good?”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to remember codes and procedures in my head as I came up with a plan on the fly. This was my brother. I still had that instinct to protect him. I knew once everything was said and done, he would go to jail—probably for a long time, but if I was able to do anything to help him, I was going to try.