Watching her face, Josh easily read her uncertainty. He had been debating whether or not to kiss her good night, and this convinced him. He would reassure her without overwhelming her. It should be easy enough.
Felicity's heart was thudding dangerously against her ribs as he approached. What was he going to do? Would he take her again? Trembling with mingled anticipation and dread, she tilted her head backward as he approached. The gray of his eyes had darkened almost to black.
"Good night, Lissy," he whispered, and gently touched his mouth to hers. Or at least that was what he had intended. One touch from her was not enough, not nearly enough. The next thing he knew, he was holding her close, tasting all she had to give. One last remaining spark of sanity flickered to life just in time, however, and saved him from carrying her off once more to the big bed he knew was waiting for them in the other room. Reluctantly, he pulled away from her and drew a ragged breath, pleased to note that she was as moved by the kiss as he. "A week seems like a long time to wait," he murmured.
Felicity thought so, too.
Felicity went weak when she saw Mr. Logan's expression. His eyes seemed to burn into her, as if he were looking into her very soul. Quite against her will, she reached out to touch his face and was mildly surprised to find the paper cool beneath her fingertips.
Still she winced as she stared at the photograph. Had he really looked at her like that, as if he wanted to ravish her, in front of everyone? No wonder no one had expressed surprise to learn that he intended to marry her. And no wonder he had done that shameful thing to her.
And no wonder she had let him, she thought with despair. Just holding his photograph was enough to set her nerves to jumping and cause that odd ache in the pit of her stomach, the ache she had felt every time she had seen or even thought about him during the past two, very long days.
Sunday had not been too bad. She had managed to hide in her room for most of the morning, pretending to read her Bible. When Candace finally rousted her out, having heard the news of the coming marriage from Mr. Logan, the rest of the men were already back from town. Everyone was so excited over the wedding plans that she and Mr. Logan had not been alone for even a minute all day.
Felicity's mirror showed her that she looked no different than before, and if anyone suspected what had happened to her, they gave no indication. Even Candace did not seem to notice any change in her. Everyone treated her with the respect due her as Mr. Logan's intended bride.
Everyone except Mr. Logan. On Sunday evening, just as she had been enjoying a measure of relief that the day had gone so well, Mr. Logan informed her that he was taking her to town first thing in the morning to do her wedding shopping. Felicity reminded him, ever so politely, that she had promised to develop the photographs for the men on Monday, so she could not go. Mr. Logan seemed to think he deserved first call on her time. He was reluctant to believe she intended to keep her promise to the men. While they had not exactly quarreled, Felicity knew he was far from pleased.
His displeasure grew as she and Cody worked side by side on Monday, locking the negatives and the albumen-coated paper into the developing trays and waiting for time and sunlight to produce the prints. Mr. Logan had grudgingly assigned Cody's line-riding duties to another cowboy so Cody would be free to assist Felicity in the work. Cody's help had been invaluable to her. Not only did he carry around the heavy trays, but he quickly learned to judge when a print was adequately developed. Felicity couldn't help thinking that if she married Cody, the two of them could make a good living practicing the black art.
But she didn't want to marry Cody. She only wanted to marry Mr. Logan. Oddly enough, she still could not think of him as anything except "Mr. Logan," in spite of what had happened between them. Or maybe because of it. She wasn't too clear on that point. She only knew that whenever they were together, her feelings frightened her. But she still wanted to see him.
Or at least she had until last night. After all the furor over the photographs had died down and the men went back to the bunkhouse to admire themselves, Mr. Logan and Felicity were alone for the first time since the night he proposed to her. Felicity tried to distract him by showing him the pictures again, but he seemed far more interested in looking at her. And touching her. And kissing her.
"Stop it!" she had exclaimed finally, jumping up from where he had cornered her on the settee.
"Stop what?" he demanded in exasperation.
"You know 'what'!" she informed him furiously, carefully backing up until she was out of his reach. "You won't trick me again."
"Trick you!" he said, standing as if to come after her. "I have no intention of tricking' you. We're engaged. It's perfectly proper for me to kiss you."
"Not with me, it isn't," she lied. She began to back away from him, but he was too quick for her. He caught her easily.
Just the touch of his hands weakened her resistance, but she was determined not to surrender to him again. If she had nothing left in this world, she had her pride. She would fight to keep what was left of it intact. When his face came down to hers, she turned her head away and struggled frantically until he released her, thrusting her away from him angrily.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked.
"Your language, Mr. Logan!" she remonstrated, trembling with reaction.
"And stop calling me 'Mr. Logan,' damn it," he replied, daring her to correct him again. "There's no reason why I can't kiss you. We're getting married in a few days."
"We're not married yet," Felicity pointed out, knowing he wanted to do far more than kiss her and understanding that if she allowed the kisses, she would allow the rest only too willingly.
Judging from his irritation, he understood that, too. He reached for her again, but she dodged him, stepping behind the settee, where she felt safer. "I think you'd better leave now," she had said.
After another angry exchange that Felicity could not even bring herself to remember, he had left, slamming the door behind him. She had been certain that he would call off the wedding and send her packing at first light. Instead he had come to the house that morning and informed her they would be going to town. He did not look very pleased with her, but he still seemed determined to go through with his wedding plans. Felicity knew she should have been grateful, especially after she had made him so angry, but for some reason, she only felt angry herself. Perversely, she determined to continue calling him "Mr. Logan," knowing how that annoyed him.
She heard his voice out in the ranch yard as he instructed one of the men to hitch up the wagon. He would be coming for her soon. Swiftly, she put the picture she had been staring at on the bottom of the pile of photographs and tucked them all into the cigar box Candace had given her.
Josh paused on the porch to finish his cigarette before going in to fetch Felicity. He was still nursing his anger like a sore tooth, even though he knew she had been right to refuse him. As she had reminded him, they weren't married yet. He would not be entitled to marital privileges for several more days. Although he had to respect her wishes, that didn't make it any easier to sleep at night, not when he kept dreaming about making love to her, and waking up in a cold sweat.
At least the men weren't teasing him the way they would have teased one of their own who was planning to marry. In fact, their reaction had been surprisingly subdued. They seemed awed at the very thought. Even Cody, whom Josh had informed first thing the next morning, before the other men returned, had reacted differently than Josh expected.
Far from being jealous, the boy was thrilled. His first remark had been, "Now she can stay here and teach me all about photography!" So much for Josh's theory that Cody was in love with Felicity himself.