"A baby's bed," Felicity said innocently, her voice a fascinated whisper.
"It's also a small room with just a bed where a man can go with a woman for a quick… roll in the hay." Blanche gave her a self-mocking grin. "One night I was in one of the cribs with a man. He got nasty because I wouldn't… do something special that he wanted. He hit me a few times, and Sam Delano came busting in to see what the ruckus was all about. He'd never set eyes on me before that night, but when he saw how young I was, he took me out of that place."
"I don't guess he really had any plans about what to do with me. I think he might've wanted to adopt me or something, in the beginning. He was almost forty, and I wasn't sixteen yet. That first night he took me outside of town to where he was camped. He only had one set of blankets, so we slept together. I thought I knew what he wanted, but he just held me that first night. Then I got scared he'd send me away, so I seduced him. After that, adoption was out of the question, so we got married instead."
"If you think your wedding was a shock to people, you should have heard folks talk when Sam showed up here with me. I was a feisty little trollop who could swear a blue streak. It took him a while to tame me down and turn me into a lady… or as much of a lady as I'll ever be," she corrected with another grin.
Felicity was so stunned, she could barely speak. "Why did you tell me all that?" she wondered aloud, certain that Blanche would never have told another person such a story.
"So you'd understand," Blanche said, kneeling before her in a cloud of burgundy skirts. She took Felicity's hands gently in her own. "Sam tamed me, but he taught me how to love, too. I'd never loved another living soul until I met him. And he loved me, too, me, as bad as I was. Don't you see? If two people can fall in love the way Sam and I did, then you and Joshua can fall in love, too. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it's started already. Why do you think he took you to bed?" Her wise eyes glittered shrewdly, making Felicity look away.
Felicity wasn't certain if what she felt for Mr. Logan could be called love or not. More than likely, it was simply lust. But she did care about him in a very special way, and that might grow into love under the proper conditions. Of course, she knew Mr. Logan did not love her. He had told her so. "He just did that to make sure I'd marry him," she said.
"Felicity!" Blanche chastened. "A man doesn't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free! Think about it. He must have been pretty desperate for you to say 'yes' if he seduced you to get that 'yes'! He wants more than just a little roll in the hay. He wanted you for a wife, for always. Why do you suppose he went to such great lengths to make sure you had to marry him?"
Felicity had never considered this aspect. She voiced the first thought that came to her mind. "He wanted to get married, and I was handy."
Blanche made a rude noise. "I've known Joshua Logan for twelve years, and he's never wanted to get married, not until you came along. If he had wanted to, there's a hundred women within the sound of my voice he could have had for the asking, myself included. But he never asked, not once. Then he found you and practically forced you into taking him. Now, why do you think that is?"
Felicity could not think of a reason, so she simply shook her head numbly. All of this was too much to take in all at once.
"Well, you think about it. Especially think about it while Joshua is making love to you tonight," Blanche advised with a mischievous smile. She rose gracefully to her feet. "Although, now that I think about it, he probably won't get much of a chance. I'll bet the boys have a shivaree planned. They'll probably kidnap either you or Josh so you can't be together tonight. That's a pretty common trick."
"I doubt they'll do anything like that," Felicity said, glad the topic had changed from such terribly disturbing subjects. "I heard Cookie tell Candace that Mr. Logan had threatened violence to any men who pulled any pranks."
Blanche sniffed in annoyance. "What fun is a wedding if you can't cause some mischief? Maybe I'll have to take matters into my own hands."
"Please don't!" Felicity implored, jumping to her feet. She found the prospect of being separated from Mr. Logan even more terrifying than the prospect of being married to him.
"Don't worry, honey," Blanche assured her. "I won't do anything mean. Maybe I can think of a little something to liven things up, though." With that cryptic remark, she made a swift foray outside to determine if it was time to begin the ceremony.
The walk from the front porch of the house to where Mr. Logan and the preacher stood out on the hastily constructed dance floor in the middle of the yard was the longest of Felicity's life. The myriad staring faces blurred as she moved by, concentrating only on reaching her goal.
Blanche Delano's regal figure cut a path through the crowd for her, which she gratefully followed. As if from a distance, Felicity could hear the murmur of voices rolling before her, but she never caught up with it. As she passed, the crowd grew silent. By the time she reached Mr. Logan, an anticipatory hush had fallen over the entire ranch yard.
Josh could hardly believe the beautiful woman approaching him was the same bedraggled girl he had carried into his house a scant week earlier. How could he ever have mistaken her for a child? She was every inch a woman now, and in every way. His body tingled with the memory of his flesh against hers and with the knowledge that before this day was over, he would know her again. She would be his, completely his. His gaze snagged hers, sending her that silent message, and he thought she faltered slightly as she approached.
Felicity's heart lurched in her chest. How could he look at her like that in front of all these people? she wondered frantically. What would they think? Would they guess that she was not the virginal bride she should have been, that she should rightfully have worn a dress the color of Blanche's, the one Blanche had jokingly referred to as the dress of a "scarlet woman"?
In spite of her dismay, she could not help the tremor of reaction that rippled through her at the sight of him standing so tall and straight in the same black suit he had worn for his photograph. He looked like some mythical patriarch with his silver hair glittering in the sunlight and ruffled by the breeze, his handsome face solemn and intent, his gray eyes glowing as if from some inner fire.
When he reached out to take her hand, the air around her seemed to evaporate, leaving her in a breathless expectancy. The minister prompted her for vows which came from her throat on a feeble thread of sound, in marked contrast to the confidence with which Mr. Logan uttered his. At last the ceremony was over and Mr. Logan bent to kiss her. His lips touched hers chastely and briefly, but when he drew back, his eyes were stormy with desire. She felt a scorching heat, and her body quivered as if he had touched her intimately.
For the rest of her life, Felicity remembered that day as through a vague mist. The whole event seemed to be happening to someone else. First there were a hundred people coming up to meet her and shake her hand and wish her well on her marriage. A few gentlemen were bold enough to steal a kiss, but only a few. Not many dared defy Mr. Logan's discouraging glare. She was grateful for that.
Then came the dinner, a feast fit for a king, or so everyone said. Felicity could barely swallow a bite. After that came dancing, all afternoon and into the night. At first Felicity was embarrassed because she did not know how to dance, never having had the opportunity to learn. Her new husband laughed off her concerns, quickly showing her the steps. She was grateful to have something else on which to concentrate when he took her in his arms. Dancing with him, standing so close, touching him with such familiarity left her breathless and disturbed. But, she quickly discovered, she only suffered those symptoms when dancing with her husband. When another man-someone whose name she had forgotten- claimed her for the next dance, she experienced only self-consciousness over moving her feet correctly.