"Nothing very mysterious," he replied, slipping an arm around her shoulders and directing her toward the front steps. "That bandit Ortega is back stealing my cattle again, and we're going to go after him."
"But Grady said…" she began, pausing when she realized she wasn't supposed to know what Grady had said.
"Has Grady been talking to you about this?" Josh asked, his displeasure obvious.
"Oh no," she assured him. "I just overheard what he was saying to you this afternoon about how he didn't think-"
"Well, he's wrong," Josh interrupted as they mounted the porch steps. "Grady's worse than an old maid, always seeing trouble that isn't there. We'll just go out and chase them off, and that will be that. The worst part is that I'll have to leave you. I may be away for several days. I guess our honeymoon is officially over," he said with regret, but before Felicity could register the pain the thought of his leaving caused her, he added, "Will you miss me?"
This was the second time today he had asked her that question, and this time he really looked as if the answer was important. "Of course," she said, feeling the anguish of separation already.
"Then come in here and show me how much," he challenged with a provocative grin, drawing her toward their bedroom.
"Mr. Logan!" she chided him, feeling the delicious tingle of anticipation quivering inside her. "It's too early to go to sleep."
"Oh, we won't be going to sleep for a long, long time," he promised, shutting the bedroom door behind them.
"Is it very dangerous?" Felicity asked the next morning, watching Joshua pull a change of clothing from a dresser drawer.
He turned back to face her, an amused smile on his face. "Not very," he said, carrying the clothes over to where he had his bedroll spread out on the huge mahogany bed. "We chase Ortega every year. It's like a game. He tries to steal as many of my cattle as he can before we notice, and then we run him off back across the border."
"Only this time you're going to try to catch him, aren't you?" she asked. Candace had told her about Ortega. In years past, things had been exactly the way Josh explained, but this year was different. Grady had once jokingly remarked that usually Josh lost more cattle to wolves than to the Mexican, but that was no longer true. This year Ortega- or someone-was stealing cattle in earnest.
"I always try to catch Ortega," Joshua said, but Felicity knew his words were as much a lie as the unconcerned expression on his face. He was trying to protect her, to keep from frightening her, and that frightened her more than anything.
Then she remembered Candace's request. "You'll be careful, won't you?" she asked, moving across the room to stand beside him. She hugged herself to keep from reaching out to him. If she did, she was afraid she would cling and start to cry and beg him not to go. She loved him so much that the thought of losing him was more than she could bear.
He straightened from the task of packing his bedroll and turned toward her. "Of course I'll be careful," he said, lifting one long finger to touch the furrow between her brows. "Now, don't look so unhappy. You'll ruin that pretty face."
Felicity consciously relaxed her frown, at least on the outside, taking some small comfort from his compliment. He was always complimenting her. He thought she was pretty. He thought she was beautiful. He liked the way she smelled and felt and tasted. Everything about her seemed to please him, especially when they were in bed together. And the quarrels had stopped, just as she had hoped.
If only he would talk to her, really talk to her. When she had asked him last night to tell her what was really going on, he had laughed off her concerns and kissed her, making her forget all about her worries, at least for the moment. She should have been grateful that he seemed to like her so well, that he seemed so pleased with his choice of a bride. Instead she tortured herself by wondering how he really felt about her. He might like her, but he couldn't possibly love her, not the way she loved him, not if he was going to put himself in danger.
With a small, anguished cry, she flung herself at him, no longer able to contain her emotions. Wrapping her arms around him in desperation, she bit down hard on hex lip to keep from weeping. Men hated it when women made an emotional scene. Her father had warned her of that. But even though she did not say them aloud, her mind screamed the words, "Don't go!"
A little surprised, Josh hesitated only a moment before returning her embrace. As always, he marveled at how tiny she felt in his arms. Because of the enormous importance she had assumed in his life, he somehow expected her to have grown larger.
He ran his hands up and down her back to smooth the tension from her body. She was soft and warm beneath his touch. In the five days since their marriage, she had never once initiated physical contact. He found the fact that she had now unbearably arousing. Wants and needs mingled until they were indistinguishable.
"I have half a mind to tumble you before I leave, Lissy," he murmured into the silkiness of her hair.
A familiar ache throbbed deep inside her in instant response. She smiled against his chest despite her terror, thankful that he still wanted her even though he was determined to leave her. To bait him, she pulled back slightly, puckering her smile into a disapproving frown. "You already did, right before breakfast," she reminded him.
He glared at her in mock exasperation. "Well, now that I think about it, seems like I remember something of the kind. Or at least, my mind does. Other parts of me have forgotten completely," he teased.
"Mr. Logan!" she goaded, using her last weapon.
"I warned you about calling me that," he growled, sweeping aside his bedroll with one hand and yanking her down onto the bed with the other.
A brief but blissful time later, they lay sated in the tangle of her petticoats. His head rested contentedly on her breast as she idly stroked the silver of his hair. "Joshua?" she whispered.
"Hmmm?" he murmured, nuzzling the still-stiff peak of her breast through the thin calico of her dress.
She tried to stop the words but they came out anyway, of their own volition. "I'm so afraid!"
His head came up instantly, his expression worried. "Of what?" he asked, even though he had a pretty good idea he already knew the answer.
Felicity swallowed, trying desperately not to cry. "I've lost everyone I ever… cared about," she began, not quite willing to use the word "love" yet. "First my mother and then my father and now…"
"You're not going to lose me," he promised vehemently, rising up on his elbows to loom over her. "Not when I've only just found you." He pressed his mouth to hers, determined to stop this conversation. After a long, sweet time, he raised his lips from hers, satisfied that he had distracted her from her fears.
Those emotions that he did not understand roiled inside of him, threatening to erupt in declarations he had no intention of making. He was certain it was only this intense physical desire he felt for her, along with his need to protect her, that reduced him to a sentimental idiot. His reactions were only natural. She was his wife, after all.
He forced himself to grin down at her, and then he ran a hand playfully along her bare hip. "Good Lord, woman! If you don't leave me alone, I'll never get packed. Grady's liable to come looking for me if I don't get out there soon!"
Josh rose reluctantly, knowing that this time he had to wipe out Ortega and his gang once and for all. The ranch that had always meant so much to him took on added importance when he thought of Felicity and the family she would give him. He must preserve his heritage for them. And when he thought of the bandits as a present danger to Felicity's safety, his blood ran cold. Even the usually unflappable Candace had cautioned him this morning about leaving a guard at the ranch to watch over his bride.
Felicity let him go, but she noticed that his smile did not quite reach his eyes. Her answering smile was wan and couldn't erase the shadows from her own eyes, but she managed to help him reassemble his bedroll.