"I have to say it, my darling," he said, capturing her again and holding her when she would have escaped. "I want to marry you."
Felicity gaped at him. "I'm already married," she cried in a last attempt to bring him to his senses.
For a second she thought she had succeeded as she felt the tension drain from his body. "Are you?" he asked coldly.
His question sent shivers of apprehension racing over her. "What do you mean?" she asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
"I mean that your so-called husband left you here almost two months ago. How many times has he written, begging you to come home?" Richard asked, his voice raw with hatred for the absent Joshua. "Can you really be married to a man who no longer wants you?"
"That's not true!" Felicity cried. Richard's image blurred before her as she struggled to be free of him and of his taunting.
"But it is true," Richard insisted, unspeakably thankful that Logan had dug his own grave by not writing his wife any love letters. If Richard had known what a useful tool that would be, he might even have plotted to intercept such letters… if he could have borne to cause her such agony himself. "Forget about him, my darling. I want you and I love you! I'd never leave you, not for a moment…"
"Stop it!" Felicity shouted, breaking free from him at last. "Stop it, Richard! I don't want to hear another word!"
"Mrs. Logan?" Asa Gordon's voice startled them both, and they looked up to see his bulky form standing in the doorway to the ballroom. If he had seen or heard anything untoward, he gave no indication. His voice was perfectly normal when he said, "They're serving dinner now. Are you ready to go down?"
Felicity felt a hysterical urge to laugh at the absurd reasonableness of the request, but she quickly suppressed that desire. Instead she glared up at Richard. "You had better go along and find yourself a dinner partner, Cousin Richard," she said, signaling him that their discussion was at an end. She only hoped he would realize the folly of ever reopening the subject.
"But Felicity…" he objected, giving Gordon an irritated glance before turning back to her. When he did, his chocolate eyes were full of pain and remorse, but she could not let that move her.
"Please go, Richard," she said, leaving him no choice but to do so.
When he was gone, Asa Gordon hurried to her side. "Are you all right?" he asked. The urgency of his tone told her that he had indeed seen at least part of what had passed between Richard and herself.
"I will be, in a minute," she managed to murmur as she searched for the hidden pocket of her gown which concealed a handkerchief.
"Here," Asa said, offering his own.
She took it gratefully and wiped away her tears, making what repairs she could to her face. "I must look awful," she lamented. "How can I go back in there again?"
"You look lovely," he told her with a reassuring smile. "And don't worry, if anyone suspects anything, they will just assume I offended you in some way."
His remark brought a reluctant smile to her lips. "Thank you," she whispered, returning his handkerchief. "Please, stay close," she urged as they reached the door back into the ballroom.
"I'll never leave you, not for a moment!" Asa promised, managing a creditable imitation of Richard's fervent vow and tucking her arm into his.
Before she could react to his outrageous remark, he swept her into the bedlam of the ballroom. Asa did not stop, not until she was safely ensconced at a table downstairs, thus sparing her the ordeal of speaking with any of the other guests. He purposely selected a table in a remote corner of the back parlor, too, and seated her where she would be shielded by his bulk.
Soon one of the servants brought their meal, and Asa began to eat, pretending not to notice that Felicity didn't even bother to pick up her fork. When no one joined them after a few minutes, Asa felt free to speak.
"Josh loves you very much," he said.
"I… I thought he did," Felicity replied, blinking away fresh tears as she realized how very much she wanted to believe Asa's statement. "But he hasn't written to me. Not once the whole time he's been gone." She lowered her eyes to where her hands twisted in her lap so Asa would not see her pain.
But he had sensed it anyway. "Why did he leave?" he asked, keeping his tone conversational in an attempt to put her at ease.
Felicity twisted her hands again. "He needed to be home for the spring roundup…" she began, stopping when she could think of nothing to add to that feeble excuse.
Asa did not reply, and after a moment Felicity realized he was waiting for her to look up. She did, and the tender expression in his eyes surprised her.
"Mrs. Logan, that doesn't make any sense at all. Why would he just up and leave you here, all alone? He must have known how Winthrop feels about you. Even a blind man could figure that out. If he left, he must have had a good reason. Maybe something happened at the ranch."
But Felicity was shaking her head. "No, he would have told me," she insisted. "He knows I wouldn't want to stay here if there was trouble at the Rocking L…" Felicity's eyes widened as realization finally dawned. "No, he wouldn't have told me, for that very reason!" she cried. "If there was trouble, he'd want me as far away as possible!"
Asa nodded sagely. "He must have gotten some kind of message."
Felicity frowned as she tried to recall. "No, nothing, except…" Then she remembered. The day they had quarreled about going home, Bellwood had interrupted them with something. Had he had a message of some kind for Josh? Had he been carrying a letter? No, just a tray… a tray with something on it, something that must have been a letter. She did know that immediately afterward Joshua had changed his mind about allowing her to stay. In fact, he had insisted upon it. "Yes, that's what must have happened," she told Asa excitedly, but then she thought of something else. "But that still doesn't explain why he hasn't written to me."
Asa shrugged that off. "Like you said, you know how men are about writing letters. Or maybe he's afraid that if he writes, you'll get homesick and come home. Knowing Josh, he's got a good reason for not writing."
For the first time in many long weeks, Felicity began to believe that he just might. "Oh, Mr. Gordon, what should I do?" she asked after a moment, knowing that if she trusted her own judgment, she would take the next train to Texas. But she wasn't certain that was the right decision.
Asa slanted her a grin. "Well, first off, I'd say try not to be alone with young Winthrop anymore."
Felicity felt her face grow hot and averted her eyes in shame, but Asa patted her arm reassuringly.
"Then second, I'd say you should just wait. When it's safe for you, I'm sure Josh will tell you to get your little bustle back home or else," he said with a wink.
"But how can I just sit here, waiting and not knowing anything?" she protested, trying not to picture Joshua in danger.
"You'll just have to," Asa said, "and you can keep writing to him. Whatever's going on down there, it'll be a help to him knowing you're thinking of him."
Felicity could have groaned when she remembered how long it had been since she had sent Joshua a letter. Almost a month, and her last letter had bragged of how her grandfather was making a place for her in Philadelphia society. What must poor Joshua think? There he was, fighting heaven only knew how much trouble, and she had tormented him with hints that she had begun to prefer living here to sharing their home in Texas. There was no other thought that would torment him more, either, as she well knew. How childish she had been. She wanted nothing more than to rush to her room immediately and pour out her heart in the most passionate love letter ever written.
Unfortunately, at that moment Alex and Elizabeth Evans found her. "Do you mind if we join you?" Elizabeth asked, not waiting for a reply as she took a seat beside Asa. "We need to discuss how best to display your pictures. Now, what I had in mind was a whole wall in the Women's Pavilion…" she explained to Felicity.