“In charge of me?”
I don't like the sound of that.
“Well, yeah, I mean I am the only guy from the team in AP English, but I would've volunteered anyway.”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“Uh, um....I take it you didn't hear about the meeting?” He grimaces.
“Evidently not. Enlighten me, please.”
“Um, well, maybe I wasn't exactly supposed to tell you that,” he says, suddenly nervous. “You know what? I think I'm gonna go get Phillip. That's what I'll do. You stay here.”
He gets up, but sees Phillip heading down the hall toward us.
Phillip rushes over, “Shelby came and got me out of study hall. What are you doing here? Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?”
Being mad is much easier than feeling sad, so I say in a perturbed voice, “No, Phillip, what I want is to know what's going on around here.”
Ricky touches my arm. “Hey, I'm gonna go. Sorry about your parents, JJ.”
Chicken.
“Uh, thanks, Ricky, I really appreciate what you did.”
I turn to Phillip. “Phillip? I asked you a question.”
“Oh, it's not a big deal or a big secret or anything. We were just kind of keeping it quiet because Danny knew you'd react like this because you're stubborn and hard headed.”
“Danny?” I shake my head, trying to understand. “What does Danny have to do with this?”
“Well, he sort of met with the football team.”
“The football team? Why?”
“Well, not everyone, mostly just the seniors and a few juniors, and well, Coach and Mazer too.”
This is mind-boggling.
“Why?”
“Well, Danny knew he'd have to go back to Lincoln right after the funeral. He felt like he was abandoning you and worried about how you'd do when you came back to school. He just wanted to make sure you'd be okay and that someone was around if you needed anything.”
Most of me wants to throw a fit and scream, I can take care of myself, but the other part of me feels grateful and loved. Because, awwww, that was really, really sweet of Danny. That's how my life has been this week. An emotional roller coaster. Two stupid sides to every feeling I have. I think I liked myself better when I just thought my side was always right.
“You know what, Phillip? I do think I wanna get out of here. I'll see you at home later. I shouldn't have come here today. And I've been lucky, I haven't run into Jake.”
“Uh, yeah. Danny might of had something to do with that too.”
I arch an eyebrow at him.
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes at me. “He invited Jake to the meeting and told him, under no uncertain terms, to leave you alone. That's the other thing the guys are supposed to make sure of.”
I sigh. I need to get out of here.
“I'm gonna sign out.”
I almost get out of school without being seen by the faculty, but when I round the corner, I run smack dab into Principal Mazer.
Crap. I suppose I'm going to get in trouble for my insubordination to a substitute teacher.
But Mazer surprises me by giving me a hug. “JJ, I'm surprised to see you here. We didn't expect you until Monday. Everything going alright so far?”
“Um, uh, there was a little incident in AP English. I want to apologize in advance and when you hear about it, um, just know he pushed me.”
Principal Mazer looks confused by my statement, but I don't elaborate. I just say, “If it's alright, I think I am going to leave now.”
“Sure honey, feel free to come and go as you please for a while, and if there is anything you need, let us know. All of us around here care about you.”
“Thanks, that means a lot to me.” My standard funeral response, but I can't seem to come up with anything better.
Phillip tells Mazer that he's leaving with me.
“Follow me,” Phillip bosses me, as I get in my car.
I follow Phillip's car in a daze. Pretty soon we are at the Westown Park. We park and get out of our cars. Phillip grabs my hand and leads me to the swings.
I sit down on a swing and am pleasantly surprised when Phillip starts pushing me.
I close my eyes and enjoy swinging. I love how swinging makes my stomach feel all fluttery. Then I remember once when I was little, telling my mom that I'd been swinging so high I thought my feet had touched heaven.
I swing higher and point my toes upward.
I hope they still can.
Phillip is swinging beside me now, and I realize this is exactly what I needed. I don't know how he does it, but Phillip always seems to know exactly what I need.
Come to think of it, enjoying a ride on a swing is very much like stopping to smell the roses.
I hope my parents are proud.
Because I grew up around Danny and Phillip, I discovered the truth about the male language very early in life. What I learned is there are three basic responses that most guys will use when shouldered with the major task of having to answer the question, How do I look? by the fairer sex.
Although I have never confirmed it, I am convinced that boys are taken aside in school, probably in fifth grade when the girls watch the film about getting their periods, and are taught the following three responses:
You look like shit. (Translation: You look bad. Just go back to bed and start over tomorrow. I really shouldn't be seen with you like this.)
You look fine. (Translation: You look good enough to be seen with.)
You look hot. (Translation: I want you.)
They also must teach them there is only one acceptable variation to these responses and to use it sparingly. The variation is simple. They just throw a REALLY into the sentence. The following are examples I have witnessed:
JJ, you REALLY look like shit. (Translation: You must be very hung over, or sick, or having an extremely bad hair day. I really don't want to be seen with you.)
REALLY, JJ, your hair looks fine. (Translation: Your hair looks the same to me as it always does, even though you spent an hour fixing it, so stop messing with it and lets go because you look good enough to be seen with.) And…
(Insert cheerleader's name here) looks REALLY Hot. (Translation: I REALLY want her.)
So when Danny shows up at my door and says these five simple words, you would think with my inside knowledge, I would have expected them, but I'm truly surprised!
“Jay, you look REALLY hot!” he exclaims, looking me over from perfectly done hair to perfectly painted toe.
Now normally, I would be excited by this compliment because it's not something I typically hear.
But what I'm thinking is, MY GOD, I have spent, like, the following:
$400 dollars and months of shopping, which is still not a pastime I find enjoyable, on a fabulous halter dress in a beautiful, stretchy coral fabric with coral and silver beading. This dress actually makes me look like I have hips.
$60 on a special bra, so I'd show no straps.
$120 on a pair of high-heeled, strappy silver sandals with rhinestones. (And yay, even in 5 inch heels, Danny's still taller than me, unlike my previous date, Mr. Unfaithful.)
$78 on a silver clutch, that is only big enough to hold some lip gloss and a cell phone.
$60 on a silver gossamer wrap, in case it gets chilly. (Okay, so I have absolutely no idea what gossamer is either. But Lisa said that's what it's called and she should know. All I know is that it's a very sheer fabric that has no chance in hell of ever keeping me warm.)