Katie grabs her laptop, finds the video, and plays it for everyone. They think it's hilarious.
I think I'll just have a little more wine.
It's at this point that I really wanna call Phillip, but I know I shouldn't. He's probably at a strip club with some gorgeous fake boobed babe gyrating on his lap. But as Katie and Lisa start telling the keg in the cornfield story, specifically how Jake announced my virginity to the world, well, I caved.
I sent him a text.
I figured I wouldn't get one back at all, but I guess it made me feel better knowing if he saw it, maybe he would think about me for just a minute between stuffing dollar bills down some chick's thong.
Me: Just wanted to say I love you and miss you. This is the first night I've spent away from you in almost three months.
I'm surprised by his immediate response.
Phillipbaby<3 I miss you and love you more.
Me: Are you having a lot of fun?
Phillipbaby<3 I'd be having more fun if I was with you.
Me: :) Me too!
Phillipbaby<3 Danny will take my phone away if he seems me texting you, but I love you. And don't worry about tonight. There's no one for me, but you. <3
And I feel happy for the rest of the night.
The next morning, I'm buzzed awake by my phone and hear Phillip's sexy voice say, "Hey, Princess, you awake?"
"Kinda. Why are you up? Are you just getting in? Are you sick?"
"Naw, I got in around four, and why would I be sick?"
"Last night was your bachelor party. Aren't you supposed to be puking this morning? Or did you last night?"
"You know I don't like to get that drunk. There was a lot of shot drinking though, and it was pretty wild. But you know Danny, and well, the rest of the crew too."
"Define pretty wild."
Phillip chuckles. "The groom had lots of fun drinking and being stupid. He even greatly enjoyed the strip club, mostly cuz he was laughing so hard at Dillon and Cooper. But mostly, he was thinking about how much he misses his Princess. Did you and the girls have fun? Are you hanging?"
"Maybe a little."
"I figured. I miss you."
"I miss you more."
Danny texts me around ten-thirty.
Danny :) Our suite, 11am. An appropriate outfit is being delivered to your room. There will be other girls dressed similarly, so don't freak.
There's a knock at my door. I open it, and a concierge hands me a little gift bag. I set it on my bed and pull the outfit out.
What there is of it.
Me: OMG!!! Seriously??!!! I can't wear that!
Danny :) Oh, come on. He's gonna love it.
Me: Are you still drunk?
Danny :) Maybe. We haven't stopped drinking. In fact, right now, I'm a doctor.
Me: Let me guess, all you prescribe is cranberry and vodka?
Danny :) Yes'm!! I'm drinking one right now! YUMMY!
Me: I'm gonna need some liquid courage to even put this thing on!
Danny :) Go do two shots. Then I have a confession.
Me: Did Phillip sleep with a stripper!!!!????
Danny :) No!!!
Me: Did you??
Danny :) Hell, no. Shots, then answers.
Me: Fine.
I go to the bar in our suite, pour myself a shot, say a prayer that Danny's brilliant idea doesn't backfire, then toss the shot back. I do another one then decide to make myself a screwdriver. Those always taste good in the morning even if you have a slight wine hangover.
Me: Shots fired, Captain. Time for answers.
Danny :) You know how you keep telling me I'm an NFL quarterback, so I need to get rid of the old Tahoe?
Me: Yeahhhhh.
Danny :) After quite a few shots, things got a little crazy, and I kinda did.
Me: Danny!! OMG!!!!!. Did you go to the Ferrari dealership downstairs!!??
Danny :) Maybe :D
Me: Lori is gonna freak!!!! I'm soooo excited for you!!! Which one did you get?
Danny :) Red F430 Spider :)
Me: OMG!! That's awesome, Dannyyy!!!! I cant wait to see it!! Ride in it!! Hell, drive it!!!
Danny :) That means you'll help me tell her?
Me: Yeshhhh :)
Danny :) Put on the outfit, send me a pic.
I put on the outfit. A minuscule black leather bustier, an even smaller thong, black fishnet thigh highs, and a matching leather mask to covers my eyes. I add a pair of black stripper heels I brought to wear to the club tonight.
Me: I'm NOT sending a picture! You're all about to see WAY more of me than you should! I can't believe you talked me into this! You do realize this could backfire horribly!
Danny :) How could it backfire?
Me: What if I see Phillip doing something with one of the stripper girls? What if he's not attracted to me? It could break us up. I don't think the bride belongs at the bachelor party.
Danny :) This isn't the bachelor party. This is just a little fun. If Phillip wanted someone else, he had plenty of opportunities last night. Girls like him. I was a little jealous.
Me: What did he do? No, wait, I don't wanna know.
Danny :) He did the same thing I did. Enjoyed girls flirting with him, looked, but didn't touch. I can't say that for the rest of the crew though.
Me: Really?? OMG that makes me so happy.
Danny :) Do another shot. I'm having one. Do one with me. Like right now.
Me: Okay.
Danny :) Here's to happy endings. Hopefully, Phillip's.
Me: You're so bad. Cheers.
Danny :) Get your skinny ass down here. The other girls are waiting in the hallway for you.
I put on a coat and walk to their suite. As Danny said, there are three other girls dressed similarly to me. The problem is, they look WAY better than me. They have big boobs, great curvy hips, and sexy lush red lips. I remembered to put on some tinted lipgloss, but then I drank most of the screwdriver. My lips are probably orange and pulpy.