‘There’s really no need to be so rude. I can see we’ve caught you on a bad day so we’ll go now and give you a little space. I’ll be in touch when you’ve had time to get used to your new situation. Goodbye, Joe.’ And with that the pair left their half-drunk cups of tea and let themselves out of the front door.
Joe was both angry and bemused. It was obvious that his brother felt no real concern for him. Even as children they were never close. He remembered David as a greedy, sly boy who liked nothing more than to get him into trouble with their parents, a more than frequent occurrence. Why then did he suddenly decide to play the concerned elder brother now, unless of course there was something in it for himself?
CHAPTER 13
As the weeks passed, Hannah slowly began to accept her ‘stump’, although the word itself still didn’t sit well with her and she avoided using it. Her choice of clothing was now invariably trousers and even at home she kept her legs covered up. Mike seemed to prefer her to do so too, and on the odd occasion he’d walked into the bathroom and found her in some degree of undress, he’d turned abruptly, embarrassed to look, and left the room. It seemed obvious that her husband was now repulsed by her appearance. At a time when the comfort of physical contact would be more than welcome, it was apparently to be denied her. Of course, she’d expected a period of adjustment but Mike obviously had no inclination to make the slightest attempt to improve their relationship, or to give his wife the comfort and encouragement she craved. Did he still somehow blame her? If only she could remember what had happened that morning.
Sue Wainwright was the specialist nurse practitioner who Hannah was due to see. At her last visit, when Sue confirmed that the swelling had gone down sufficiently to measure for the prosthetic leg, she had wrapped Hannah’s stump in cling film and applied a plaster cast, after taking numerous measurements and carefully marking out the area around the patella. The pleasant nurse proved to be painstaking in her duties and now smiled at her patient as she entered the room.
‘Hi, how are you today?’ She spoke warmly.
‘Fine thanks ... a little apprehensive perhaps.’
‘About anything in particular?’
‘I’m just scared that I might not be able to get used to wearing the leg,’ Hannah admitted.
‘That’s quite natural, but I can assure you that it won’t be long before it will seem as if the leg’s wearing you!’ Sue manoeuvred her patient to where she wanted her to be and then took out the new leg. ‘Want to have a look?’ She handed it over.
Hannah was initially surprised at how heavy it felt but she’d been told that it would weigh approximately the same as her other leg, for balance. She’d had the choice of a solid, natural looking design, or a metal rod with a foot on the bottom, the sort of thing athletes seemed to favour these days, a robotic looking device which some people thought of as ‘cool’. Hannah’s choice was the natural look and now as she examined it a thrill ran through her at the thought of being able to walk again.
‘This is your first prosthesis, one you can wear in the shower if you like, and once you feel confident on it, we’ll make another with a softer covering which will look more like flesh. We can make the next one with an articulated ankle too if you’d prefer, which will make wearing heels possible, although not stilettos I’m afraid! But for now let’s see how this one fits.’
Sue gave Hannah a cotton sock to pull over her stump, and then she placed the specially fitted ‘liner’ inside the leg and asked Hannah to place the stump into the prostheses. It felt strange, though not uncomfortable and Hannah began to move her legs around, still seated. She grinned at the nurse.
‘Great, now let’s try standing up.’
They were only a few steps from the parallel bars and Sue supported Hannah’s arm while she tried to move the prosthesis.
‘I feel like it’s going to drop off!’ Hannah said.
‘If it feels loose you can try putting another sock on. I’ve had patients who’ve worn six or seven socks to get the fit right, and some days you might need more than others.’
Hannah grabbed the bars and positioned herself in between them and started to walk. She balanced rather shakily on her prosthesis and put her good leg forward then dragged the prosthesis up to meet it.
‘Try to relax into the leg and then you’ll move more naturally. Stand still for a few moments and bend your knees a few times to get used to the feel of it.’ Sue watched as Hannah tried to do as she’d suggested.
‘I thought it would feel more like a real leg,’ Hannah moaned.
‘Try to walk naturally to the end of the bars and then we’ll sit down again.’
Once they were both seated, Sue looked Hannah straight in the eye and said, ‘It’s never going to feel like your real leg, Hannah, that’s gone, but this will feel good in a surprisingly short time. Your leg muscles need to get used to wearing it and then you’ll have the confidence you need to relax and walk normally, which is one of the reasons why we nagged you about exercising your stump in hospital. Once the muscles get used to wearing the leg they’ll move automatically and you’ll walk more naturally.’
‘And I thought I’d be walking out of here today.’ Hannah didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘Goodness no, you’ll need to limit your time on the prosthesis initially, probably only a few minutes at a time for the first few days, to get used to wearing it. Even when it’s more comfortable, don’t overdo it, you’ll probably be only too glad to get it off after wearing it for any length of time. Everyone’s different and all I can say is to be guided by how you feel. Obviously, if there’s any soreness or chaffing, don’t persevere, and if you’re worried about anything at all give me a ring. If I’m not available there’s always someone here who can advise you or see you if needs be. Now, let’s have another try, shall we?’
Hannah stood up again, this time knowing what to expect, and moved to the parallel bars unaided. After bending her knees a few more times, she walked the length of the bars with greater ease and finished the short distance with a smile on her face.
‘Well done, you’re getting used to it already!’ Sue grinned. The nurse then went on to talk to Hannah about other aids to help her around the home. Grip bars on doorways and the shower seemed all too sensible, but she was unsure whether she wanted her home to be ‘adapted’ in this way. These things were just more outward signs of her disability, and she was almost certain that Mike wouldn’t like the idea.
With the prosthesis in its bag, Hannah again needed to rely on a porter to take her to reception where she rang for Mike to come and pick her up.
After half an hour’s wait he walked in and frowned when he saw her still in the chair.
‘What’s gone wrong?’ he asked.
‘Nothing, I just need time to practise using it, that’s all. Can we go home now please? I’m tired.’
Still there was no affection or encouragement from her husband and Hannah’s mood sank; would things ever get back to normal?
Mel and Sam were both far more enthusiastic for their mother when they arrived home from college later that afternoon. They examined the leg in turn and Hannah explained that this was just her first basic prosthesis and she would eventually get another, possibly with an articulated ankle joint.
‘Wow, so you’ll be dancing again before we know it!’ Mel joked.
‘As if I ever could, you know I’m not blessed with a sense of rhythm.’
Mel was keen to see how the leg would fit, and even Sam wanted to stay around to watch. Hannah rolled up her trouser leg and pulled on one of the socks she’d been given to bring home, and then showed them how the liner fitted inside the leg and her stump dropped into it. She then stood up with Sam holding her lightly for balance and took a few tentative steps.