As you can imagine, life is proving difficult and I miss her so much. Friends and neighbours have rallied round and the funeral was a fitting tribute to the wonderful person she was. I do feel bad about not letting you know sooner but my head’s been all over the place and it’s only now that I’m remembering people I should have contacted. You were very dear to Alison and I know she missed your friendship but was happy to know that you’re well settled in Canada with Graham. I hope he and the children are well.
It’s difficult to talk about my wife’s death, but this next subject has brought even more pain. As you probably know, Ali cared for her mother, visiting two or three times a week and although Ethel and I have never been close, I felt obliged to visit her when my collarbone had healed and I was driving again. It wasn’t a great visit. In a fit of what I can only describe as ‘pique’ she told me that Alison had had a baby before she met me and therefore it was my inadequacies which prevented us from conceiving. You can imagine how hurtful this was, but Ethel refused to give me any more facts other than to say that the baby, a girl, died within hours of birth of a weak heart.
Perhaps you can understand my confusion and puzzlement at knowing this information. I thought that Alison and I knew everything about each other and had no secrets, but this information has shaken me more than I can say and of course without Ali to discuss it with I feel quite distraught. What I need to know is, firstly, is it true and secondly, why on earth didn’t she tell me about it? I would have understood if she’d explained but now I find my mind whirring with all kinds of scenarios, wondering who the father was, how she felt about him and would she have still been with him if the baby had lived?
I know this is a big ask and the news of Alison’s death must be a shock to you, but I’m desperate for answers and you’re the only one I can think of who was really close to her in those years before we met. Please be honest with me, Juliet. Whatever you can tell me will in no way change the way I remember Alison, but for my own peace of mind I need to know the truth.
Kind regards
Joe
CHAPTER 17
‘But why?’ Mel’s eyes were bright with tears. ‘Other people’s parents get divorced but not ours, not you! I thought we were happy...’
Sam also looked on the point of tears but Hannah knew he would restrain himself, always conscious of how he thought he should react, and showing an excess of emotion was something he rarely did.
‘It’s nothing to do with you two, love; it’s between your mum and me,’ Mike told them.
‘Is there someone else?’ Mel asked.
Mike looked away, embarrassed, turning to Hannah for help.
‘Yes, your dad’s met someone else,’ she said, not inclined to make excuses for him.
Suddenly Mel flew at Mike and began to thump him on his chest. ‘I hate you!’ she shouted.
Sam sprang forward to pull her away and she collapsed onto the sofa into Hannah’s waiting arms.
‘Well, I still love you...’ Mike’s voice cracked. ‘And I hope that when you get used to the situation you’ll both come and see me and Sarah. You’ll always be welcome.’
‘Never!’ Mel shouted. ‘How could you do this to Mum? Especially now...’
‘It’s got nothing to do with the accident, Mel; your dad was seeing Sarah before that.’
Mel shot Mike a look of disgust.
‘So when are you leaving?’ Sam asked.
‘I’ve moved most of my stuff out already, so I’ll not be coming back here to stay.’ Mike paused. ‘I really am sorry but you’re both on the point of becoming independent, and your mum and I just aren’t happy anymore. I’ll still be your dad and I’ll always be there for you.’
‘But just not here! Where will you be living?’ Sam was clearly shocked and struggling to take in the unexpected news.
‘Sarah has a flat in Bankford, about ten miles away, and you can come and visit anytime you want.’
When Mike’s car pulled out of the drive, Hannah looked at Mel and Sam.
‘I’m so sorry this has happened — it must be such an awful shock to you both.’
‘And to you, Mum! How long have you known?’
‘Just since Tuesday. He wanted to tell you then but with your exams and everything I asked him to wait until today. You should really be out celebrating with your friends tonight. Sorry if we’ve ruined that for you.’
‘It’s not you who’s ruined it, it’s him! Did you have any idea that he was seeing someone else?’ Typically, Mel would want to know all the details.
‘No, love, I didn’t, and I felt pretty stupid when he told me. I did know he was finding things difficult but I thought it was this leg and everything that’s happened since the accident. He said he tried to make it work afterwards but I’m not sure he could have, and if he really loves this Sarah...’
‘He might come back.’ Sam looked hopeful. ‘If things don’t work out with her he’ll realise that you’re the one he really loves.’
‘I can’t see that happening. He’s known her for two years apparently and there’s something else which he should have told you. Sarah’s going to have a baby.’ They’re old enough to know the full facts, Hannah thought, even if Mike had been too cowardly to tell them.
‘The bastard! I don’t ever want to see him again!’
‘Don’t say that, Mel! He’s still your father and this baby will be your half-brother or sister — you might want to make room in your life for it. These things happen and I know your dad still cares for you. I think you should give him a chance.’
‘You’re too nice, Mum, but you’ll always have us.’ Sam put his arms around her in an unusual, but very welcome display of affection.
‘Look, let’s order a takeaway for tea and then I want you both to go out and celebrate the end of your exams. You deserve it — you’ve worked so hard and I’m so very proud of you both.’
‘We’re not leaving you tonight and I don’t feel like celebrating...’ Mel spoke for them both.
‘Nonsense, I want you to go. I thought I’d ask Rosie round later to help me polish off a bottle of wine or two, so I don’t want you around to witness my wicked behaviour!’
Rosie was never one to refuse a half share in a bottle of wine, or some girly chatter, and arrived next door within ten minutes of her friend’s call. Perceptive as ever, she noticed the pallor and drawn expression on Hannah’s face and immediately demanded to know what was wrong. It was a relief for Hannah to pour out the angst of the week to an understanding friend. She had found it an enormous struggle to carry on as usual after Mike dropped his bombshell on Tuesday, but she’d resisted telling anyone until the children knew.
Rosie listened quietly, her silent empathy both encouraging and soothing. When everything was out in the open she sat back and said, ‘Well, he’s a bloody fool! He doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you and the kids; you’re a prize for any man.’