‘Even with only one leg?’ Hannah almost whispered.
‘What the hell’s that got to do with it? You’re an amazing woman, Hannah Graham, and don’t you forget it! And as for planning a baby with a woman he’s having an affair with, while still married to you ... well, that’s just bloody irresponsible. I hope the baby keeps him awake every night and his floozy gets fat, with swollen ankles, and pimples!’
‘Oh, Rosie!’ Hannah laughed out loud. ‘Don’t say such awful things. I suppose he couldn’t help falling in love with her. These things happen.’
‘There you go, making excuses for him already. He doesn’t deserve it, Hannah. He’ll soon find out which side his bread’s buttered and then he’ll want to come crawling back, so I hope you’ll tell him where to get off. And what about money? You take him for everything he’s got, girl! It won’t be cheap sending the kids to uni, you know, he’ll have to cough up. Make sure you get yourself a good lawyer.’
‘Oh, I’m sure he won’t be mean about money, he’ll see the kids all right, I know.’
‘And what about you? All these years you’ve devoted to him, you make sure you get half of everything he has — more if you can.’ Rosie was in full swing now and that was after only one glass of wine.
‘There’s time to sort all that out, but he will have another baby to support. I can’t expect too much from him.’
‘Yes, you bloody well can, and I’ll be around to make sure you do!’
The conversation continued in the same vein for most of the evening, Rosie’s dramatic outbursts making Hannah laugh when she hadn’t thought it possible after a week which had been punctuated by tears and feelings of utter despair. Her friend’s drunken rendition of Cher’s ‘Do You Believe in Life After Love?’ almost doubled her up. Rose was just the tonic she needed.
When Rosie eventually left, Hannah went upstairs to bed, not wanting the children to see her the worse for wear. For once, she was fast asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow.
CHAPTER 18
Joe was actually smiling, but when he realised it, he felt a sudden stab of guilt. He was in his office at work, checking over some figures, when a colleague came in to ask him something. The conversation turned to their respective dogs and Joe recalled his morning’s walk with Liffey when she had bounded over the meadow like a kangaroo. She loved the long grass, especially if it was cool and wet. He’d taken pictures on his phone and laughingly showed his colleague.
When he was alone again, Joe experienced what he could only describe as a sense of disloyalty; it was happening more frequently these days, when normalcy slipped into his day and he paid the price with a sudden surge of guilt. But surely it was a good thing to be able to smile, even to laugh again; he wasn’t really betraying the memory of Alison by doing so, was he?
There would come a time when he would have to start truly living again, and not only by working and taking his dog out. It was nearly four months since his wife had died and he’d spent most of that time alone, grieving, not knowing what else to do. His conversation with his friend prompted thoughts of travel; perhaps he should get a caravan, or one of those motorhomes, then he could take Liffey off for long weekends and see a bit more of the country.
Joe had often fancied a motorhome but Alison admitted that she liked her creature comforts too much — a warm bath and a hotel when they were away, so she didn’t have to do any cooking. He’d be okay roughing it a bit though, and it would be great for Liffey too. The thought gave him something to dwell on and he decided he would start researching it that evening.
Once home, Liffey’s enthusiastic welcome was exactly what Joe needed; she brought him one of Alison’s slippers, a habit she’d taken up whenever they went out and left her alone. Really, he should get rid of the slippers to save him that little bit of heartache the sight of them brought, but as yet he hadn’t, so he thanked Liffey and stroked her silky coat. Perhaps neither he nor his dog was ready to part with the reminders of Alison just yet.
Joe had taken to buying M&S ready meals for one, and removing one from the freezer each morning so it would be defrosted by his return in the evening. With the intention to search the internet later that evening, he first let Liffey into the garden while he heated his meal. After he’d eaten, he grabbed his jacket again to walk his dog before planning to settle down with his laptop.
It was a pleasant, warm evening with the remnants of sunshine low in the sky. Their route would be the same they had taken that morning; the meadow was perfect at this time of year and an acceptable distance for them both to enjoy the walk. Hawthorn trees scented the air, mingled with the pungent smell of wild garlic, and wild flowers bloomed in abundance; swathes of buttercups, ox-eye daisies, red campion, cowslips and so many others, with names Joe didn’t remember, although Alison would have known them all; she’d loved the meadow.
Joe smiled at Liffey as she scooted round and round when he picked up her harness, excitement growling softly in her throat.
‘Come on, old girl, walk time!’ He caught his spinning dog, pulled on the harness, clipped on her lead and they set off briskly from the house.
Liffey was pulling excitedly on the lead, so Joe walked quickly past the houses and down the lane towards the entrance to the meadow. They had nearly made it when he heard a car, making too much noise for the speed limit of the small road.
He automatically shortened Liffey’s lead and pulled her closer to his side, expecting the car to roar past him. As the engine noise increased, he turned to look over his shoulder, annoyed with whoever was driving like a madman.
The last thing Joe remembered seeing was the car rising up onto the narrow path, only a few feet away from him. His heart stopped with recognition when he saw his brother behind the wheel. There was no time to shout out before the world spun violently and everything went black.
CHAPTER 19
The weeks after Mike left were some of the most difficult Hannah had ever experienced. Only the presence of Mel and Sam kept her sane, but she was well aware that their departure for university was looming in the not too distant future, and she would have to make the most of this summer before they flew the nest. Her children were obviously making an effort for her too and she loved them even more for it.
After their initial shock at Mike’s leaving and their varied expressions of anger at what he’d done to them as a family, they slipped into an unspoken agreement of not mentioning his name around their mother. But Hannah felt duty bound to occasionally talk about her husband; he was still their father and she was sure that he meant what he said about maintaining a relationship with them.
Mike had been in touch every week, suggesting that the twins might like to meet up with him to go bowling, or to the cinema, but if either of them actually answered the phone, they always had a ready excuse to decline his invitations. Hannah wondered if they’d colluded to make a list of ‘reasons’ why they were not available, as the words seemed to roll off their tongues with such practised ease.
In spite of all he had done, Hannah felt sorry for Mike. Did he really expect the children to readily accept his new situation, and his new girlfriend? And had he actually thought through the effect that having a new baby would have on his ‘old’ family?
She was presented with the opportunity to ask him these questions when he rang one weekend and the twins were both out.