Liffey licked his face again and tilted her head to one side.
‘Go! Good girl, go fetch Phil, fetch Helen,’ he repeated.
Liffey barked once and ran in the direction of home. Joe was surprised and fully expected her to bring him back a stick but she was gone too long for that. When she did return it was with both of his neighbours in tow.
‘Good girl, good girl, Liffey!’
Once again his friends had come to the rescue. Phil ran back for the car and insisted on taking him to hospital for a check-up. Joe tried to protest but it was futile so he gave in to the ministrations of his friend and, very soon, the staff at A& E too. X-rays confirmed that his hip and shoulder were only bruised and, apart from a slight concussion, swelling and a black eye, Joe was good to go.
‘If your fall hadn’t been broken by that hedge it could have been a different story,’ Phil pointed out on the way home. He wanted to take Joe to the police station to report the incident and the only way for Joe to explain his reluctance to do so was to tell him the truth.
‘The man’s evil, pure evil!’ Phil was shocked. ‘You should still report him, he might try again.’
‘Well, perhaps we’ll have to think of something to scare him off...’ Joe said thoughtfully.
‘Count me in.’ Phil was eager to volunteer. ‘Anything to teach him a lesson!’
And so the plan to let David think he’d succeeded in killing Joe took root. Phil and Helen were enthusiastic co-conspirators, although initially Helen favoured involving the police and letting them deal with it, but she was talked round and agreed to play her small part.
They forged legal letters contacting David as Joe’s next-of-kin, and informing him of Joe’s death. Phil rang David up, and invited David and Pam to inspect Joe’s house, as they were the legal beneficiaries to his estate. Phil arranged for David to pick up the keys to Joe’s house the following morning.
At midday the next day, Joe heard David’s car pull up in the Ropers’ driveway. He quickly hid himself upstairs and waited for them to let themselves into his property.
Joe heard his front door being unlocked, and then Pam speaking to her husband.
‘I think new carpets will be in order, there’s a strong smell of dog in here!’
‘We can’t rush in and change things straightaway,’ David replied, ‘it’ll look odd.’
‘Oh, don’t be so cautious. This is the first good thing to have happened to us in years; can’t you just relax and enjoy it?’
‘No, I can’t! We’ve got to get in touch with the police, remember, it’s not a Sunday school picnic you know, we’re not out of the woods yet.’
‘Come on, I want a better look at that kitchen.’
Joe heard them both move into the kitchen.
‘Wow, look at these units,’ Pam enthused, ‘they must have cost a fortune! And the tiles, I’m going to love pottering in here.’
Joe heard them move back into the lounge.
‘Alison certainly had good taste,’ David remarked.
‘Upstairs now!’ Pam replied. ‘I hope they’ve got an en suite, I’ve always wanted one!’
Joe heard them walk up the stairs and push open the door to the main bathroom. He heard Pam squeal with delight.
‘This is even better than I’d hoped,’ she said. ‘That must be the master bedroom, let’s have a look.’
The door was ajar and Pam pushed past David to get in first. She suddenly screamed, making him jump, and turned back towards him, white as a sheet.
‘What the hell is it?’ David pushed the door fully open to reveal Joe, sitting in the window seat, his solemn face bruised and swollen.
David gasped, staggered backwards, and then stared at his brother.
‘No, I’m not a ghost.’ Joe spoke in low, even tones. ‘Your clumsy attempt to kill me didn’t quite go to plan.’ He said nothing else, just stared at his elder brother, disappointment rather than hatred in his eyes.
‘Now wait a minute, you’ve got it all wrong! Whatever you’re thinking, it wasn’t me, I’ve been ill in bed for the last few days, haven’t I, Pam?’ David made a feeble attempt to deny his actions and his wife nodded frantically in agreement. ‘Surely you can’t believe I’d actually attempt to kill you?’
‘David, you were as close to me as you are now, I saw you. Please don’t take me for a fool.’
Suddenly, Pam threw herself at Joe and wrapped her hands around his neck. ‘You bastard! You should be dead!’
David was quick to pull her off. ‘Haven’t you done enough damage, woman? Joe saw me, he knows!’ As Pam shook herself free from her husband’s grip David turned to his brother and said, ‘Look, you probably won’t believe me but I’m actually glad you’re not dead. I was stupid and I’ve hated myself for planning something so despicable. There’s no excuse. I’ve been in a lot of trouble and there are people looking for me, not very nice people, and the pressure’s been building up. I saw this as a way out. But it really is a relief to see you alive and whatever you decide to do, I know I deserve it.’
‘Shut up, you fool!’ Pam shouted at him. ‘He could have the police in the next room listening for all we know, he’s tricked us into coming here!’
‘Enough, Pam! If Joe wants to bring the police into this, I can’t say I blame him. We deserve it.’
‘What do you mean, “we”? It was your doing, not mine!’
David looked at Joe. He mouthed the words, I’m sorry, and hung his head.
The doorbell shattered the silence and Joe stood, limping towards the door to answer it. Pam made to grab him again. ‘Is that the police?’ she snarled at him as David held her back.
‘No, it’s Phil from next door. He’s here to check that I’m okay. I think you’d be wise to bear in mind that both he and his wife know everything that’s happened, just in case you have ideas of another attempt.’
Joe slowly and painfully made his way towards the stairs.
‘Now what do we do?’ Pam hissed at her husband. ‘He’s probably already told the police.’
David shook his head and followed his brother down the stairs, Pam at his heels.
‘It doesn’t matter anymore; can’t you see it’s over?’ he said, but she was agitated, ready to fight for what she wanted, still not accepting that they had failed.
Phil was in the hallway, the look of disgust on his face as he looked past his neighbour to David, spoke more than any words could have done.
‘Do you want me to do anything Joe?’ he asked, eyes still on David.
‘No, thank you, Phil, I think we’re done here. My brother and his wife were just leaving.’
‘Joe...’ David began.
‘Goodbye, David.’ Joe turned his back on him and walked through to the kitchen.
When David and Pam left, Joe turned to Phil and Helen.
‘Thank you both for your help, once again. Whatever you said to David on the phone, Phil, you must have been convincing — they didn’t doubt your story at all.’
‘Yes, I was quite enjoying the subterfuge until the bastard said he’d be putting Liffey in a shelter! I was so tempted to give him a piece of my mind then. That’s when I knew exactly what sort of a man your brother was; he has a complete lack of humanity.’
‘I think Joe knows that, dear,’ Helen reminded him.
‘It’s okay,’ Joe assured him. ‘I couldn’t agree more, and Liffey’s certainly proved she’s anything but a dumb animal.’
‘Absolutely!’ Helen smiled. ‘Hearing her barking outside the house and then her insistence that we follow her to you was just like one of those old episodes of Lassie Come Home. Well done, girl!’ She reached down to stroke Liffey’s silky ears. ‘Now, are you going to be okay by yourself tonight, Joe?’