‘It could even be cancelled,’ Joe told them. ‘DS Armstrong said that her solicitor is asking for the charges to be dismissed due to her failing mental health. I don’t know what to think to be quite honest. I was dreading the trial, but the thought of Pam getting away with his murder is too shocking to even contemplate. I don’t know what’s going to happen now, but it’s obviously going to drag on and on. These evaluations take time apparently. At the back of my mind is the thought that Pam could be faking this mental illness to avoid standing trial. What do you think?’
‘Oh, Joe, we don’t know her well enough to make that kind of judgement, but if she is faking it I shouldn’t think years in a mental institution will be a much better option than prison. And if she’s proving to be violent, she’ll be kept in some kind of secure facility surely, and who would want that for goodness knows how many years?’ Helen asked.
‘Perhaps you’re right. She’s going to be locked away whatever happens. I’ll just have to be patient and wait to see what these evaluations throw up.’
Joe took Liffey down to the meadow before going home to feed her. The weather was still holding and the earth was bone dry, the grass scorched and bleached of its usual cool green colour. He thought about the year behind him, the ferocious arctic weather which caused that fateful accident and changed so many lives; a cruel, indiscriminate ripple effect, stealing life, happiness and health from all of those involved. And the contrast now, from such fierce winter weather to one of the hottest summers he could remember, was incredible.
David came into his mind too, and the pain he’d added to Joe’s already broken world, but he was still his brother and Joe would never have wished him dead. He had decided not to share David’s letter with DS Armstrong. It seemed unnecessary now that Pamela looked unlikely to be standing trial, and Joe had decided the letter was something he wanted to cherish privately and keep to himself.
Sighing, Joe turned his face to the summer sun. How would the latter part of the year unfold? Surely, Joe thought, he’d been allotted more than his share of misery. Could there possibly be something good waiting for him around the corner?
CHAPTER 29
Rosie wanted to hear all about Timmy’s Farm; she’d been disappointed at not being able to go to the open day, but work had taken priority. They were sitting in Hannah’s lounge enjoying a glass of wine and the peace and quiet of a Sunday afternoon. Hannah had taken her prosthesis off and swung her leg up onto the sofa, as she’d been cleaning all morning and now it was playing up. Rosie was probably one of the few people she felt comfortable enough with to do this.
‘It’s amazing, Rosie, they must have worked so hard to achieve all that in just a few months. Of course, their farm lends itself perfectly to such a project, the space is ideal and they’ve utilised all the outbuildings, it’s incredible. I had a brief chat to Cassie, but obviously she was busy — everyone wanted to congratulate her. I’d thought about volunteering in some way but honestly, what could I do with this leg?’
‘There’s plenty you could do! It won’t be all mucking out and grooming ponies you know, there’s bound to be paperwork, and your organisational skills are second to none. Give her a ring, or send an email — you might be exactly what they’re looking for.’
‘Do you think so? It’s just that when the twins go to uni it’s going to be so quiet around here. I don’t want to give myself time to sit and mope, and it’s such a worthwhile venture.’ Hannah was really dreading the day Mel and Sam would leave, a day which was drawing closer. It would have been bad enough if Mike was still with her but being alone was a scary prospect.
‘Well, you won’t know unless you ask,’ Rosie encouraged her. ‘Did the twins enjoy it?’
‘Oh yes, they were most impressed, everyone was. You know, I really couldn’t have gone if I hadn’t remembered the details of the accident. I’d been carrying around that awful dread that I’d somehow been to blame for the whole thing and it was getting to me.’
‘So they didn’t treat you like some kind of social pariah then?’ Rosie smiled, playfully mocking her friend.
‘No, not at all, I felt quite relaxed with Cassie, and I met Joe Parker in the tea tent too. I needed a sit down and the twins left me there for a while. We had quite a long chat. I suppose I feel more self-assured now that I know the whole thing wasn’t my fault, I’m a victim of a freak accident just the same as they are.’
‘Joe Parker? Isn’t he the one whose wife died in the accident?’
‘Yes, that’s right. We met briefly at the hospital when I went for my first fitting and I was glad of the opportunity to thank him for his testimony at the inquest, so it was good to see him again. His brother’s died since the accident too; it must be awful for him.’
‘Bloody hell! That seems a bit unfair.’ Rosie’s face suddenly split into a huge grin as she asked, ‘So what’s he like, this Joe?’
‘Oh, Rosie, don’t think that, he’s just a nice man who I shared a cup of tea with.’
‘Well, why shouldn’t I think like that? You’re single, he’s single and you’re a very attractive woman, Hannah Graham. Is he, you know, fit?’
‘He’s just a lovely man who I met by chance. He’s just lost his wife, for heaven’s sake, and besides, he’d never be interested in me!’
‘Why ever not?’
‘You know why not.’ Hannah absently rubbed her leg. ‘It’s repulsive.’ There, she’d said it; she was convinced that no man would consider her to be attractive, ever again.
‘So you’re an expert now on what repulses this Joe, are you?’
‘Any man would be repulsed by it ... this stump, it’s ugly, hideous...’
‘Hannah, listen to me. Your stump does not define you! You are still the same person you were before this accident — a warm, caring person and, hell woman, look in the mirror, you’re gorgeous. Besides, from what you tell me, Joe sounds a very nice person but if having a prosthetic leg puts him off, then he’s not worth having. You’d have to give him, or any man for that matter, a chance to prove that he’s not that shallow.’
Hannah suddenly burst into tears and Rosie moved beside her to wrap a comforting arm around her shoulder.
‘Go on then, let it all out,’ Rosie whispered as Hannah released all her pent-up emotions in huge sobs.
After a few minutes Hannah quietened and began to apologise. ‘I’m sorry, Rosie; I really thought I was done with all the tears, the feeling sorry for myself.’
‘Don’t apologise, tears are cathartic and you bottle things up far too much. A good cry does us all good sometimes. You don’t always have to be brave, Hannah; none of us can be strong all the time and you’ve had a lot going on recently.’
‘Thanks, Rosie, maybe you’re right. It’s been all losses this year, first my leg, then Mike and now the twins. I know all children have to grow up and leave home, but I’m not looking forward to it. The house will be so quiet.’
‘I’ll do my best to make more noise, shall I?’ Rosie asked. They laughed together and Rosie refilled their wine glasses. ‘Getting back to this Joe, did you give him your telephone number?’
‘Well, actually, I did. We do seem to hit it off well and I think we could get along, as friends, so when he asked if I’d mind if he rang me sometime, just to see how I was getting on, I said that would be fine.’ Hannah could feel herself blushing.
‘Good for you, it sounds as if you could both do with some company. You might be good for each other.’
When Rosie left, Hannah’s mood switched once again and she became reflective. The twins wouldn’t be in for another couple of hours but she shouldn’t rely on them for company. She was proud of them both, Sam was to study sports science at university and Mel had chosen journalism and media studies. They would do well, and Hannah knew that wasn’t just her biased opinion.