The Accidental sorcerer

'What?' Reg said brutally. 'Make five wizards disappear? Kill them? Why not? He tried to kill Gerald.' 'Kill Gerald? Are you crazy?'

'No, but your pretty brother is,' Reg retorted. 'That riding accident wasn't an accident, ducky. And those other wizards didn't resign or get fired. Lional retired them. Permanently'

'The thing is,' Markham added, 'after they arrived in New Ottosland nobody who knew them — family, friends, colleagues — ever saw or heard from them again. I'm sorry. It's pretty obvious they met with foul play'

'What you're suggesting is ludicrous!' she shouted, and pushed away from the bedpost. 'Lional's not some common criminal, he's a kingl'

Reg snorted. 'Often as not it's one and the same thing. If you'd known the kings I've known, ducky — '

'And he's my brother. Do you think I wouldn't notice a little detail like being related to a homicidal maniac?'

'Trust me,' said Reg. 'Family's usually the last to know.'

'No. This is ridiculous. What possible reason could he have for killing them?'

Reg flapped her wings tiredly. i don't know. Yet. But it won't be good, whatever it is. Face it, dearie. Your brother's demented. Markham checked with the Department's chief Etheretic Weather monitor. As I suspected there's no such thing as polarised lightning. Whatever's wrong with the etheretic transductors around here is wizard-made.' Reg scowled. 'By Lional, I'm guessing, since he's the one who invented that poppycock story.'

She stared. 'Lional can't do magic. It was probably Gerald. Now that he's on Lional's side.' Reg's beak fell open.'He is not]'

'Really? Then who hexed my door? I suppose you're going to tell me that was Lional too?'

'Of course it was! Anybody who'd kill five innocent wizards wouldn't hesitate to hex a door!'

'Stop calling Lional a murderer! You don't know he killed anybody] Former witch queen or not you don't know anything]'

'This isn't getting us anywhere,' said Markham, and headed for the door. 'There's only one way to tell if it's Gerald's hex.'

'Not so fast!' said Melissande, and blocked his path. 'You're Gerald's friend which means you're biased. There'll be no reading of anything without an independent witness!'

She led him out of the bedroom, her insides clenched and trembling.

'Excuse me!' Reg bellowed behind them. 'I'm still recovering from a flight to Ottosland and I'm feeling a little fatigued, if anybody's interested!'

She stopped. 'Wait here,' she ordered Markham, marched back into her bedroom, scooped Reg into the crook of one arm and marched back out again to find that Gerald's disreputable friend had paid no attention to her. She found him in the study, staring at her books.

'You have an… unusual… library for a princess,' he commented, one eyebrow raised.

'So now you're the book police?' she said, and resisted the urge to kick him. 'Let's just concentrate on my front doors. Because if you don't remove that hex we'll all be stuck in here for the forseeable future.'

'Don't just stand there, Markham,' said Reg. 'Run!'

She shoved Reg at him and stalked into the foyer. Markham followed, parked Reg on a handy pile of books and moved to consider the suite's front doors.

'They melted my incanted keys and ruined my screwdriver,' she said, glaring ferociously sideways. 'So don't try and tell me they're not hexed, Mr Markham.'

'Call me Monk,' he said, then laid his right palm against the carved wood and closed his eyes. A moment later he snatched it away again and shook it, hard. 'Ouch! No, they're hexed all right. One hex, very powerful.' 'See?' she said triumphantly.'I told you.'

'It's the strongest barrier hex I've ever come across. But it's not Gerald's.' 'It has to be.' Markham sighed. 'I'm sorry, Your Highness. I'd know his thaumic signature anywhere.' 'Then whose is it?'

'I don't know. But it's a weird one.' He pressed both palms to the wooden doors and shivered. 'More than weird. It's horrible! Reg clacked her beak. 'Horrible how?'

Markham pulled his hands free and wiped them on his trousers, his mouth pruned with distaste. 'I've got an idea but… it's crazy.'

Reg rolled her eyes. 'Then it's probably right. Everything in this cockeyed kingdom is crazy' 'Thank you,' Melissande said coldly.

Reg shrugged. 'No point plucking the messenger, ducky. I just call 'em as I see 'em.'

Ignoring the bird she turned to Markham. 'Explain.'

Markham chewed his bottom lip. 'Every incant has a unique signature. Like — a thaumaturgical fingerprint of the person who placed it.' 'I know that,' she snapped.'So?'

'So this hex hasn't got one fingerprint. It's got lots. As though a whole bunch of wizards performed it simultaneously' 'You're right. That's crazy' it's worse than crazy,' replied Markham. His expression was strained, it's hex soup. I mean, I'm good. I'm really good. And I've neutralised a bunch of hexes in my time. But I don't think I can do this one.'

There was a moment of shared and silent panic. Then she slapped her forehead, i'm an idiot. And so are you. We don't need the doors, we can use your portable portal to escape.'

He hesitated. 'Not necessarily. I haven't had a chance to fine-tune it for short distances. We may end up in the middle of the desert by mistake. Or worse.'

'Oh.' She thought for moment then slapped herself again. 'Oh! Of course! You can levitate us through the bedroom window!'

Another hesitation, then he shook his head. 'I don't think we should go anywhere till I've got a better understanding of this hex.'

'Mister Markham, I have a kingdom to run,' she said sharply. 'Get me out of here and you can spend as long as you like studying your precious hex. Better yet, ask Gerald to explain it.'

Markham slammed the doors with his fist, eyes blazing. 'For the last bloody time, lady, it wasn't Geraldl Gerald's in trouble somewhere, thanks to you! And if he ends up another one of your brother's victims I promise you: someone's going to pay, big time! And I don't have a problem if that someone is youV

There was an appalled silence. Then, panting and grunting, Reg flapped to the marble-topped table by the doors. 'Now, now. Let's take a deep breath and remember what's at stake here.'

'I know what's at stake!' Melissande turned on Markham. 'And don't you threaten me! I've been threatened by experts and I'm not scared! You — '

Reg let out a screech. 'Shut up the pair of you! Wasting time spitting like mangy alley cats when Gerald is out there somewhere expecting us to rescue him!' Silence. Then Markham ran his fingers through his hair.'You're right, Reg. I'm sorry' She crossed her arms.'Yes.Well.' 'All right, Markham,' Reg continued.'You're the genius here, so act like it. How many fingerprints can you sense in that hex?'

Markham sighed, i think… five. And they're all First Grade.'

Reg scratched her head. 'So. Five thaumic signatures… five missing First Grade wizards. Even Boris could do the maths on this one.' She sniffed. 'Where is that long black streak of misery, anyway? Last thing we need is for me to end up as his lunch.'

'One of the maids is looking after him,' said Melissande. 'What do you mean, even he could do the — '

But Reg and Markham weren't listening. They were staring at each other, eyes wide with dismay. is it even possible, Reg?' said Markham. 'I've never heard of-'

'You wouldn't have,' said the bird darkly. 'Seeing as you're a nice young man who doesn't read that kind of grimoire. But I've known men who do, Monk, and I'd say it's more than possible. It's the only explanation that makes any sense.'

Grimoire? 'What, so now you're saying there's black magic involved?' Melissande demanded, i don't believe it. This is getting more and more farfetched by the minute!'

Markham shook his head. 'Sorry. I know this is difficult but we have to face facts. The only way a single hex could contain five different thaumaturgical signatures is if someone stole the potentias of those five wizards.'