I sigh as I pull open the big glass doors to the movie theater. The scent of salty buttery popcorn hits my face. “That makes sense, but it’s still disappointing.”
Here in the theater, we encounter a much larger percentage of aliens enjoying their own days off. A couple of years back, a 3D gaming arcade was added just off the lobby and was outfitted with all the most popular games that other alien species seem to know. Kila is not interested in that area though. He is more amused by watching me go through the rigamarole of purchasing the tickets, a bucket of popcorn, two lemonades, and a bag of chocolates.
“Is this to be our main sustenance for the day?” he asks once I’ve explained the food options. “Sugar and popped grain kernels?”
“What’s your point?” I say, grabbing a handful of the most buttery bits and shoving it in my mouth.
We find our seats and settle in. I hand Kila the popcorn bucket while I open the chocolates and set the lemonades into the cupholder. Once I’ve got everything set up, I cozy up in the chair. I glance at Kila and find he’s as rigid as a board, clutching the bucket and staring straight ahead like he’s on assignment.
“Will you relax?” I poke one shoulder to indicate he should lean back and start feeling around for the button that will make his seat recline. When the chair starts to move backward, he jerks and grabs for the armrests, causing some popcorn to topple over.
“I am sorry,” he says quickly, frowning. “Is it required to lie back like this? Is it not strange to lay down in front of all these others? It feels vulnerable.”
“Vulnerable to what?” I look around at the other movie-goers, none of whom are paying any attention to us. I lean over and whisper conspiratorially, “You think those teens are planning a sneak attack? That skinny one looks shifty.”
“Very funny,” he says flatly. He shifts around, wiggling his shoulders before he lays back stiffly. “I suppose this is comfortable.”
“Just pretend we’re snuggling in bed,” I suggest, leaning over the arm rest to nestle against his shoulder and stroke his forearm. “Forget everyone else is here.”
“That is terrible advice, Ella. I’ll soon have an erection that way,” he says.
That comment draws the attention of the human couple behind us. One of them coughs with surprise, and I snort with laughter. I move to pull away, but he quickly grasps my hand.
“No, stay,” he sighs. “If it happens, I would rather suffer it and enjoy your touch.”
I chuckle. “Okay but keep your voice down. It’s not appropriate to talk about that kind of thing in public.”
“More human nonsense,” he mutters. “You mean to tell me that your species is willing to obscenely mate with random, potentially incompatible persons at any time but they shy away from speaking of sexual matters in public?”
“Yeah, and everything your species does makes sense,” I snipe. “Now shush, the movie is starting. You can’t talk while it’s on.”
“Very well,” he whispers, and the theater falls quiet to the sound of the opening credits.
Through two and a half hours of action, explosions, classic Bond romance, and egotistical villains, I cannot help myself from stealing glances at Kila’s reactions. He is clearly riveted, watching with brows furrowed thoughtfully from start to finish. When its finally ended and the lights come up inside the theater, I tap the top of his hand and say, “Wellllll…? What did you think?”
He blinks slowly and wrinkles his nose. “This man… would not make a very good viki.”
I laugh as we get up and start shuffling toward the exit with the rest of the crowd. “It’s not meant to be realistic. It’s entertainment.”
“Do your human spies go around causing explosions and drawing attention to themselves via fornicating with mated females?”
“He was getting information—”
“There are many planets on which fornicating with the mate of another male will result in painful death or public torture,” he explains. “As a newly mated male, I am beginning to understand why such things may occur.”
“Mated male, huh?” I shake my head. “So presumptuous.”
He turns with a worrying lip. “I don’t mean to be,” he says quickly. “But you must realize that for Kar’Kali, there will be no other female. Even if you don’t wish to be with me, Ella. I didn’t mean anything untoward by it.”
“Well, anyway, James Bond can handle himself.” I change the subject away from this stomach-churning talk of life-long commitment. You’re the one that asked him out, I remind myself. “Besides, on Earth, sleeping around isn’t exactly a cover-blowing offense. Guys do it all the time and no one suspects they’re a spy just because they screw anything on two legs.”
“I suppose, biologically, human males feel they must spread their seed to create the best chance for successful offspring. They are fertile at all times, after all,” he reasons.
“You some kind of cheater apologist?” I mutter, squishing the empty popcorn bucket into an overflowing trash can. The reminder of all the cheaters I’ve dated brings a jolt of irritation to me, and my footsteps speed up as I cross the carpeted lobby. I need fresh air. Be careful what you wish for, people always say. I spent so long bemoaning my string of commitment-phobes and two-timing sweet-talkers… Lo and behold, an alien appears with a hormone spike that’s telling him to wife me up on sight and stop at nothing to have me. Why does the thought of it scare me? Isn’t it exactly what I wanted? To have one man that only has eyes for me?
“What does that mean?” he asks, following at my heels like a puppy.
“Nothing,” I sigh, pushing open the door and taking a deep gulp of fresh autumn air. “What kind of food should we try, hm?”
“It does not sound like nothing,” he says.
“Chinese, maybe? Or sushi? Do you like fish?” I make my way briskly down the sidewalk.
“Stop, and speak to me,” he insists, tugging on my wrist to grab my attention. “I know you do not like to upset others by saying things they do not wish to hear, but I do not want it to be that way between us. You can tell me anything and I will try to understand. Did it upset you that I presume to be your mate?”
I blink and draw up short. I let him pull me away from the main flow on the pavement, keeping me from getting bumped from behind by the fast-walking woman behind us.
“How… do you know that?” I ask. “I didn’t… I mean… We barely know eachother?”
He shrugs. “I pay close attention to you. I think you are too kind to upset others. Maybe you didn’t notice, but I watched you all the while I was ignoring you. You never tell Pakka when he is annoying you by over-explaining simple tasks that you already know how to complete—”
“He’s a man-splainer,” I agree.
“You never stop Kiva when he is talking to you for far longer than you have the time or patience to listen,” he says. I smile a little at that. Kiva is so enthusiastic; it’s hard to interrupt him without feeling bad. “You did not tell that man in the parking lot to leave you alone. The one I believe wished to court you as a mating partner.”
“Kila!” I slap at his chest lightly. “Were you eavesdropping when you stalked me?”
“I happened to be under the nearby vehicle,” he says sheepishly.
“You are so bad,” I laugh, just imagining him all stiff and serious while lying under a car, waiting for me to get on the bus.
“As I said, you do not need to extend this treatment towards me,” he says.
“It’s not you,” I sigh out. “Look, let’s walk and talk. This way.” I steer him to the left down an alley that will lead us to a less populated area. He falls into step beside me. The sun is shining and the air is crisp. It’s a beautiful day.