I can tell he’s just as eager. His glances my way are longing; his eyes are fiery with want. At exactly five o’clock, I log off the computer system and start locking up. Kila stands by the exit, waiting. Pakka, Mori, Kiva, and Vala watch us apprehensively as I bolt for the door that Kila swings open for me.
All I hear before I’m in the hallway is Vala’s quiet question: “Will you still push for the suppressor then?”
I don’t stop to listen to the reply. It doesn’t matter.
Kila and I make our way down the hall. We are sharing a massive grin. I let out a giggle, like a goddamn schoolgirl. What is happening to me? At the sound of it, Kila laughs too.
“Look at us,” he says, as we draw to a stop in front of the elevator. “We are ridiculous.”
I swallow my laughter. “That’s love for you,” I say before thinking. Then I freeze up.
Kila just nods. With a hand on the small of my back, he leads me into the elevator. “Is it? I had not realized. This emotion is quite multi-faceted.”
“Kila,” I say slowly, my stomach beginning to tangle up. “It just slipped out. I’ll explain it to you this time.”
“Oh, I understand it,” he tells me lightly, as if we are discussing a basic word definition, just like when I informed what a ‘hoagie’ was. “We are in love. I have been studying it.”
I am speechless. When we step out of the elevator, the lobby is so crowded with staff making their way to the front gate that I hold my words inside. The last thing I need is to be having an L-word conversation in the presence of dozens of alien scientists. Is it really that simple to him? A word that my long list of ex-boyfriends seemed to be allergic to? It must be that he doesn’t really understand it. He just thinks he does. To him, it’s just an extension of the mating call.
“This way to the back lot,” I say, veering to the right, and then right again down a narrow passageway. Only a few others exit along with us. This lot is reserved for the higher-level staff, typically those that are more likely to stay after hours. Almost all the spots are assigned, so we must trek all the way to the tree line, where my brother’s old Nissan truck is parked.
Kila observes the beat-up Navara quizzically. “This doesn’t really suit you,” he comments, before opening the passenger door.
I climb into the driver’s seat and start her up. “I know, but it works.”
As soon as the engine is going, Kila leans across the console to kiss me hard. He cradles the back of my head and devours my neck, sliding his tongue across the skin. It heats and tingles there, then he suckles me hard enough to leave a mark.
“You know, we have to leave here if you want to make it to my bed,” I remind him when we come up for air. We’ve learned that the tongue won’t make me insatiable until I ingest it, but I still don’t know if I could make the drive home if he keeps this act up.
“Start it driving and I’ll kiss you until we arrive,” he says, sliding his hand from my knee down to the apex of my thigh.
“I don’t think you get it,” I say, shaking with laughter again. “I have to operate the car myself.”
“That is ridiculous,” he complains. “This thing is massive and unwieldy, yet it does not bear the proper technology to auto-pilot?”
“No,” I say, picking his hand up off my leg and placing it back into his own lap. “Now keep those over there or you’ll get us both killed in a car wreck. This is from before the Occupation, when very few cars could drive themselves.”
Kila reluctantly obeys as I shift into gear and start pulling out of the lot.
“So… Love,” I say as calmly as possible. “You said you were studying it. Do you mean from watching the movies?”
He is fiddling with the air vents and examining the radio as he replies, “Yes. But I also found there was a wealth of information on the subject in many Earth databases. I’m embarrassed I wasn’t aware. Kiva spoke to me at length on the subject, having researched it prior to our arrival here. I confess… perhaps I didn’t prepare for our original research project as I should have.”
“You mean, since you now know that it’s very important to ‘mating practices’?” I question.
“Yes,” he agrees. “But there is no better way to understand than to experience it. And we are in love, are we not?”
He says this so confidently, so casually. My heart is melting and tightening all at once. My palms are sweaty on the steering wheel. I don’t know what to say. Am I in love? Is that what this is?
His fingers fall away from the dashboard. “Ella? Aren’t we?”
I can’t bear to look at him. “I don’t know,” I croak. “I… Maybe?”
Silence. Heavy silence follows. I sneak a look in his direction. He stares out the window, pensive.
“What does the word mean to you, Kila? How can you know for certain?” I say. “I want to tell you I’m in love with you, but I just haven’t ever said that after knowing someone for only a month.”
“I did not realize there was a time quotient,” he replies. “I have read about an idea called ‘love at first sight’ after all. It seems popular. It was my understanding that love is shared by two persons that wish to be together, in the realms of both sexual desire and daily pursuits of enjoyment, and that there is a level of need involved, similar to addiction.”
“When you put it like that,” I mutter, swinging the car into my apartment complex.
When we stop, he hurries out and hustles around to open my door and help me down. “Why is this vehicle so high from the ground?” he grumbles. “I think your tiny ankles could easily be injured.”
“I’m not a fragile bird,” I snort, flushing at his gentlemanly gesture.
“Birds are designed to land at flight speed,” he informs me. “Your ankles are more fragile than a bird’s.”
“Not really what I meant…”
“You are avoiding our earlier topic of conversation,” he points out. Aliens really don’t beat around the bush and they are goddamn allergic to subtlety.
“I know… I know,” I breathe out, feeling a spout of blabbery nonsense ready to pour out. “I probably do, you know, feel that for you. But I’m not sure I’m ready to admit that to myself, because it’s scary… And you’re wonderful, and this is happening so fast. But then there’s all the craziness of the war and your friends being against it and I just— There’s also this human ritual part of it, that I know you don’t necessarily get and it just surprised me that all this time you felt you loved me and you never said—”
“Ella,” he interrupts with firmness. We are stopped outside the entrance, flanked by the hedges that block the first-floor apartment windows from the street. “I will partake in whatever ritual you wish or wait as long as you need. What is this ritual? Do you refer to marriage? I have heard of it, but I am unclear on the details—”
“No! God, no, not marriage, not yet,” I gasp. “One step at a time. And I don’t mean a specific ritual. Just, taking a special moment to be romantic and confess to someone that you love them.”
“That is vague, but I will strategize on it,” he says, brows furrowing.
I open my mouth to reply, but the sound of snapping branches causes me to hesitate. Kila’s ears perk, and his head snaps in the direction of the hedges behind me.
Then, he launches himself into the greenery.
“Kila,” I hiss, quickly checking the area to make sure no neighbors are watching this odd behavior. “It was probably a rabbit. What the hell are you—”