“I have enough for both of us,” Valentina said casually, and then sat down near Claire and her mother. Abby had gone back to her room to continue packing. “What’s everyone been up to?”
“We’re starting a shoe business,” Claire told her. “My mom came to help me, and she’s living here now. And Abby is moving to L.A., to work on a movie for a year.”
“That’s a big change.” Valentina looked surprised. The cast of characters at the loft had been stable for years. It was shocking to think of one of them leaving, and then she realized her sister would too when she got married. “How’s the wedding coming?” she inquired.
“It’s in June. In New York. You’re the maid of honor,” Sasha informed her. “The girls are my bridesmaids. June fourteenth. You’d better be there,” Sasha said seriously.
“Can I bring Bert?” Valentina asked innocently.
“If he’s still around by then,” which she doubted. It was three and a half months away, a long time for her twin to be with the same guy.
“We’ll see,” Valentina said vaguely. Bert came back with the dog then, and kissed her lightly when he walked in.
“Great dog! We should get one like that,” he told Valentina, and she nodded. She looked like she was ready to do anything for him. Sasha remembered that Patty Hearst had married one of her police bodyguards, so people did sometimes, and got attached to the men who protected them. Maybe it worked. Valentina kissed her and then left with Bert to go to her apartment, in Tribeca. Jean-Pierre had been murdered at his place, not hers, so her apartment was pristine. Bert had brought some things over that afternoon, and she had invited him to move in. The detail was over, but their life together was just beginning. Sasha was still shaking her head when they left, and Claire grinned at her knowingly.
“At least he’s gainfully employed and won’t go to prison,” she commented. It was more than she could say about the man she’d been in love with, who was out on bail, still leading the high life, according to Page Six. He was getting money from somewhere. She went back to work on the spreadsheets then, and Sasha helped Morgan put the groceries away, thinking about Valentina and Bert. It was nice to have her back.
—
When Abby left at the beginning of March, it was heart-wrenching. They all felt as though they were losing a leg, or an arm, or some essential part of them. Abby was an integral part of their self-made family, and had been there for nine years with Claire. They all cried and were depressed for days afterward. Abby was staying with her parents in L.A. but was planning to get her own apartment. She said she’d move back in a year, but no one believed her. She would get entwined in the life of Hollywood, particularly if Josh’s indie film was a success, which sounded likely.
She took Charlie with her, and the house seemed dead. A week later Sasha came home from work and found Morgan crying in the kitchen. And it was hard to guess why Morgan was crying—she had so many reasons to. Her lost job. The fact that she might never find another one as good—a future employer might not trust her, or even hire her. She had been irreversibly tainted by George, maybe forever. And they all missed Abby.
Sasha put her arms around her and gave her a hug. “I miss her too.” It was like losing her little sister. Even during her travails with Ivan, she had been a warm, loving presence who brightened their existence. And with Morgan depressed about losing her job, the atmosphere in the apartment had been very subdued. And as Sasha hugged her, she shook her head and sobbed.
“It’s not Abby,” she managed to choke out the words.
“You’ll find another job.” She knew Morgan liked working at Max’s with him for the time being, but she was worried about the future of her career. Morgan shook her head again, and Sasha looked at her, mystified over why she was sobbing inconsolably.
“I’m pregnant!” Morgan blurted, and collapsed into a kitchen chair with overwhelming grief.
“Oh my God,” Sasha said, and sat down next to her. That had never happened to any of them. They were cautious and responsible, and kept an unlimited supply of condoms in both bathrooms for everyone’s use. They were grown-ups and took good care. “How did that happen?”
“I don’t know. I took an antibiotic for an ear infection—maybe it canceled out my pill, or I missed one. I’m two months pregnant.” She looked at Sasha miserably. “I just figured it out, and I took a test. I’m screwed. I missed a period when they closed the office. I thought it was just stress.”
“Have you told Max?” Morgan shook her head. She was sure it had happened when George got arrested. They’d had sex more than usual, for comfort. And now her worst nightmare had happened, and she was out of a job.
“If I told him, he’d want the baby, and he knows I don’t want kids. He’ll break up with me if I have an abortion. He’s Irish Catholic, and he loves kids. I want an abortion, Sash. I can’t even tell him.” And then she looked at her friend hopefully. “Would you do it?” Morgan trusted her completely.
“No, but I can refer you to someone who will, if that’s what you want. You should probably tell him, though. He’ll get even madder if he finds out later and knows you lied to him.”
“I know. I’m screwed either way. And I’m not going to have it. I can’t. Children terrify me, they always have. I have no maternal instincts at all.”
“You might surprise yourself,” Sasha said gently. “You love him, that helps.”
All Morgan could do was cry as she sat at the kitchen table with Sasha’s arms around her. Morgan said it was the worst thing that had ever happened to her, and Sasha felt sorry for her. Morgan was devastated, and Max figured out for himself that Morgan was pregnant when she threw up three mornings in a row. He asked her, and her face told him the whole story. She didn’t want to lie to him and deny it. She burst into tears as soon as he asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked with a broad smile as he put his arms around her. He was thrilled.
“I don’t want it,” she said in a deep sorrowful voice. “I always told you that. I don’t want kids.”
“Planned ones, okay, I get that. But this happened. You can’t just brush it away. It’s our baby.” He had tears in his eyes when he said it, and he was shocked at her expression. She was like a cornered animal, and she would do anything to survive.
“It’s not a baby. It’s a mistake, an accident. It’s a nothing right now,” she said, panicked.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. How pregnant are you, anyway?” He looked as rattled as she did, but for the opposite reason. He wanted it, she didn’t. And he was willing to fight for its survival, she wanted to kill it. It was about to become a huge battle.
“Two months,” she answered in a flat tone. “I’m going to have an abortion,” she said with an iron will in her eyes.
“When?”
“Soon.”
“Over my dead body. Is Sasha doing it?” His eyes were blazing with fury.
“She refused,” Morgan said honestly.
“At least there’s one decent human being around here. I want you to know that if you have an abortion, I will never forgive you, and it’s over with us.”
“I know,” she said quietly. But it didn’t change her mind. She hadn’t wanted it to happen this way. She hadn’t wanted him to know, because she knew it would end like this, probably forever. She knew it was true when he said that he would never forgive her. It was against everything he believed in, and he wanted their child, he always had. He slammed out of the apartment then, and didn’t stay with her that night. She knew the battle they were having over her unwanted pregnancy was the beginning of the end, either way, whoever won.