Every now and then, I thought about Tarrin of the Hariri, bleeding to death on the sand, and it gave me a tightness in my chest that hurt like a flesh wound. I know guilt won't get you nowhere if you're living a pirate's life, but it snuck up on me anyway, no matter how much I reminded myself that he would've killed me first. At least with the Hariri crewmen I didn't know for sure if they died or not – that's usually how it is in battle, all that chaos swirling around you. But Tarrin stuck with me, and it wasn't just cause I knew the Hariri clan would have to take their revenge.
We set off the next morning. The horse was gone – it had wandered away in the night, off to join the camel in the desert. I didn't mind walking, but Naji was still too pale, and he moved slower than normal, shuffling along over the riverbed like an old man.
"It's only a few days' walk from here," he said.
"What is?" I looked at him sideways. "Don't you dare say a canyon."
He didn't answer at first, and I thought about laying in to him for never telling me anything, but then he said, "Leila."
"Who the hell is that?"
"Someone who can cure me."
"Oh. Right." I stopped and put my hands on my hips. Kaol, why couldn't we have met up with this Leila lady before the Hariri clan tracked us down? I didn't know how much it would've changed things. Tarrin still wouldn't have listened to me. But maybe I wouldn't have killed him, neither. Maybe I could have agreed to go with him and then found some other way out of marriage.
"What's wrong?" Naji turned toward me. He had his robes on normal again, but they gaped open at the chest from where I'd cut them, and he kept tugging them over the wound. "I thought you'd be happy to know we've almost arrived at our destination."
"Happy enough," I muttered.
Naji frowned. "Tell me. It could prove important–"
"Why should I tell you anything? Not like you haven't kept me in the dark since that night I saved your life – biggest mistake I ever made." I started walking more quickly, and I could hear Naji's footsteps catching up with me.
"Ananna–" he began.
"You really want to know?" Anger pulsed through my body, heating up my skin. Anger at Naji, at myself, and Tarrin for not standing up to his father. "I killed him. I killed Tarrin. He was a captain's son. I know that don't mean nothing to you–"
Naji didn't move.
"But a captain's son is special, cause he carries on the ship name. Ain't nothing to hire an assassin to kill a captain's daughter, but a son…" I hadn't let myself think about any of this yesterday, and now it was flooding over me like a tsunami. The Hariris would want revenge on me for sure. If they were willing to send an assassin just cause I spurned their son I didn't even want to think about what they'd do now that I'd killed him.
I wished my brain would just shut down the way it had yesterday afternoon.
"I do know what it means," Naji said quietly. "To kill a captain's son. I've worked with the Confederation before."
And then he put a hand on my shoulder, which surprised me into silence. I stared at the ridges of his knuckles, at the spiderweb of knife scars etching across his skin. His touch was warm.
"Leila is a river witch," he said. "I believe she can help lift my curse."
"Yeah, figured that out ages ago." I scowled down at the riverbed.
"Even when the curse is lifted," he went on. "I'll arrange for your protection."
His hand dropped away. The place where he'd touched me felt empty.
"Thank you," I muttered, looking down at my feet, my cheeks hot.
"Come," Naji said. "Once we get to Leila's everything will be fine. You'll see."
Yeah, I thought. For you.
But I walked along the riverbank same as before.
We followed the river for three days, and it was a lot easier than trekking through the desert, even without the camel. There was plenty of water and fresh fish to eat, and a lot more to look at. Little blue flowers grew along the riverbed, all mixed up with the grasses and the river nettle that I'd used to save Naji's life a second time, and the walls of the canyon grew taller and steeper the more we walked, until it seemed like the desert was another world away. And those walls were something themselves, stripes of golden-sun yellow and rust-red and off-white. Like the wood on the inside of a fancy sailing ship.
We had to stop quite a bit, though, so Naji could rest. His health didn't seem to improve. He stayed pale despite all the sun, and he'd stumble over the rocks sometimes, and I'd have to steady him. He slept longer than me and hardly ate much of anything. It was worrisome, cause I'd no way of helping him out if he got any sicker. There was no way the river would give me another cure, not without an offering – which I didn't have.
On the third day, we came across a house.
It was built into the stone of the canyon wall, with carved steps leading down to the river. There were three little boats tethered next to the steps, plus a flat raft that looked made out of driftwood from the sea. Bits of broken glass and small smooth stones hung from the house's overhang, chiming in the wind.
"Finally," Naji said. "We're here."
"This is it?" We were on the other side of the river from the house. I walked up to the water's edge. The house looked empty, still and silent save for that broken glass.
"Yes. Leila's house." Naji closed his eyes and swayed in place. Everything about him was washed out except for the wound on his chest. "She can help me."
But I got the feeling that he wasn't talking to me, so I didn't say nothing.
"Guess we got to swim across," I said. The water ran slow, smooth as the top of a mirror. Looked deep, though.
Naji opened his eyes. He nodded, and then he sat down and pulled off his boots and lashed 'em together with his sword and his knife and his quill, which I was surprised to learn hadn't been packed away on the camel. "My desert mask," he said.
"What about it?"
"Where is it?"
"I dunno."
Naji stood up, his boots and sword and all bundled up at his feet. "You don't know? You took it from me! I would never have lost it."